The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

You may have been told that the reason people keep breaking up with you is because you're actually TRYING to recreate abandonment trauma from childhood. But what if the real reason is that Complex PTSD is driving your behaviors, and causing you to push people away? Here are tips for identifying why this keeps happening. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:    https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in...

Infatuation with someone you can't have when it becomes overpowering enough, is called "limerence." It produces a fantasy that helps you escape what is tedious or sad in your life. But the addictive thoughts can only drain your energy and harm your real-life relationships. In this episode, I respond to a letter from a woman who has fallen in love with a caregiver who comes to the house to help her...

Opinion Bullies are narcissists who attempt to shame and control people who don't agree with them, and who refuse to be controlled. We once recognized them as the "mean drill sergeant" archetype by now they are everywhere; people with trauma wounds can be deeply triggered and prone to hide from bullies, rather than fight back. How can you hold your ground, and maintain your composure and your voic...

Attachment wounds and the terror of being alone can drive you to rationalize HOLDING ON to broken people who have already left you. This common CPTSD symptom is one of the most destructive, draining you of happiness, the possibility of real love, and worse. In this episode, I respond to a letter from a woman trying to salvage a four-week relationship with a man who is in the midst of a dangerous m...

"I love you, but I'm not sure I'm IN love with you." If your partner says this, does it mean it's never going to work? In this episode, I respond to a letter from a woman who has a good dating relationship but is worried her boyfriend's lack of zeal signals doom for the future. How can you tell if a relationship is worth more time? Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:    https://bit.ly/40M2Ye...

Limerence -- unrequited love that's obsessive and consuming -- can seize your mind and control your emotions. What happens when you "wake up" and realize you feel embarrassed about how your obsession affected the person on whom you were limerent, and everyone who witnessed your irrational behavior? In this episode, I respond to a letter from a woman who hasn't yet shaken off a feeling of shame abo...

Your Childhood PTSD symptoms have likely created a lifetime of problems in relationships choosing unavailable people, clinging to bad relationships or avoiding intimacy altogether. But the reason you long for a real love -- a "great love" even -- is because you were born to love and be loved. How does a person move past the hurts of the past and learn, at last, to love? Take my FREE Course or Quiz...

When a partner manipulates and controls you, withholds love and demands fidelity -- these are signs of narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I respond to a letter from a woman struggling to finally close the door on an ex who behaves like a cult leader and must heal her vulnerabilities to cut him off for good. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:    https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses...

People who grew up in dysfunctional, neglectful families often find themselves attached to people who are LESS functional than themselves, and uncomfortable around people who are kind, decent, and living their lives well. Given that friends and associates are an important factor in how our own lives turn out, why would we sabotage ourselves like that? In this episode, I respond to a commenter with...

People who were abused and neglected as children sometimes struggle to stay emotionally "regulated." Part of healing is to learn to self-regulate; this is a skill that, in substance recovery programs is called "Emotional Sobriety." Is it the same with trauma? In this episode, I talk about ways to determine when you're emotionally "intoxicated", how to become emotionally sober, and the signs that y...

You know how when people give you a bad apology it makes you feel worse? Here's how to apologize the good way, the way that actually makes things better. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:    https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership:  https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf

When you were starved for love and attention as a child, it harmed you emotionally, psychologically, and neurologically, even if the wounds didn't show. Neglect can cause problems connecting with people, detecting red flags, and discerning when a person has your best interests at heart (and who is just using you). In this episode, I answer a letter from a woman who is worn out from a four-year rel...

Childhood PTSD can make all relationships seem frustrating and sometimes confusing, even when they're good. Is it your trauma symptoms, or is someone just not a good fit for you? In this episode, I respond to a letter from a young woman in a long-term relationship who finds herself reluctant to commit, AND reluctant to leave. Listen to my suggestions for her to determine if her boyfriend is a "kee...

When it comes to Complex PTSD, research has shown almost no definitive pattern of effectiveness associated with any particular approach to treatment. Thousands of practitioners and agencies claim that they treat the effects of childhood trauma, but do their approaches work? In this episode, I go through some of the popular treatments available and tell you what we know about them. Take my FREE Cou...

If I had it to do over again, I would have stopped going to therapy long before I did. Most commenters on this channel told me they felt the same way; a few were astonished and wanted to know more. In this video, I explain WHY therapy not only didn't help me heal from Childhood PTSD / CPTSD, but how it put me at risk. Be sure to watch until the end! I talk about what DID enable me to heal, and the...

So many people who endured abuse and neglect as children are STILL waiting to find real help for their trauma-related problems today. You hear people say “oh you should go to therapy --it totally changed my life!" and you think "I WISH I could find something like that but WHERE?" In this podcast, I teach you ten qualities to look for in a therapist who can help you heal from CPTSD. Take my FREE Co...

People whose childhood emotional needs were neglected are often drawn into "limerent" relationships -- an infatuation or obsession with someone unavailable, uninterested, or unknown to you. This consuming kind of love (that gives nothing back) can devastate your happiness and leave you chronically isolated. In this episdoe, I answer a letter from a woman who has loved a man she barely knows for ye...

As a child, you developed the ability to use "magical thinking" to cope with abuse and neglect, but NOW, as an adult, it just might be blocking you from ever escaping troubled relationships, finding inner strength, and living a full life. In this episode, I answer a letter from a woman who endured profound neglect as a child and has used magical thinking to tolerate rejection and grief as she live...

Any loss of a parent can leave an emotional wound on a child that affects them all their lives. How many times have you fallen for someone, only to find that you weren’t valued, your existence was a secret to someone's "real" relationship, relegating you to the status of "side chick?" The consequences of this pattern don’t just draw you to the wrong person; the pattern leads to behaviors that driv...

You may have suspected that abuse and neglect in your childhood still affects you now, or that you developed Complex PTSD as a result of what happened. Here are 12 signs of CPTSD that you can compare to the symptoms you experience. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:    https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership:  https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf

Hurrying is a huge trigger for CPTSD symptoms, amplifying dysregulation and all the other common side effects experienced by adults who grew up neglected or abused. Hurrying can increase anger and panic, and drain your ability to focus. And although you may think it is not possible to live without hurrying and overwhelm, you can teach yourself to notice when they're happening and slow, way down. T...

"You've got to learn to feel your feelings" is not always helpful advice for people who grew up with neglect and abuse. Emotional dysregulation is a common, normal, adult symptom of of complex PTSD that can make emotions too big, too intense, and even destructive to your life. Here's how to notice when your emotions are dysregulated, and what you can do to re-regulate them. Take my FREE Course or...

Love is powerful: Even people whose parents exploited them still feel love, still long to be loved. Surviving abuse depended once on tolerating and fitting yourself to people who could not fully love. As an adult, this tendency keeps you trapped in half-love relationships. In this episode, I respond to a letter from a woman whose partner holds her at arms length with a lingering connecti...

People who were traumatized in the past can be blind to dating red flags -- or you see them but ignore them! Here are 12 signs that someone is either unavailable, not into you, or just plain BAD for you.  Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:    https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership:  https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf  

You've heard of red flags, but what are the signs that someone might be a great partner? In this episode, I list what I call "green lights" - the signs that someone has what it takes for a good relationship. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:    https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership:  https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf