The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

One of the most brutal but deceptive symptoms of Childhood PTSD is the romanticization of unrequited love. Loving, available partners seem boring, while those who don't want you seem to represent a higher realm of being, and give you (if only in fantasy) the experience of great love and emotion. The compulsion to love unavailable people will rob you of all happiness, and any chance of real love. I...

"Cool Girls" are women who appear to feel relaxed and happy about "friends with benefits" relationships, and to have no expectations that get in the way of commitment-free sex. There's a lot of social pressure to be "cool," but for people who were neglected or abandoned as children, acting cool is a charade meant to cover what they've been told is shameful -- a desire for a serious and monogamous...

A history of abandonment in childhood makes you prone to attach to people who abandon you and worse. But focusing on the REASON for the pattern is an explanation, but not a solution. If your pattern is terrible relationships, you will keep having them until you get the power to live, and the will to change. In this episode, I respond to a letter from a woman who is in her second abusive marri...

If you're feeling alone, lacking friends or feeling that the friendships you have are shallow, fragile, or hurtful, you may be experiencing one of the most common signs that trauma in your childhood has affected you. Abuse and neglect can leave a lasting wound that makes connection with others difficult. But you CAN heal friendship wounds. In this compilation, I teach common ways you may be hiding...

How many of your problems today were a) caused by things that happened to you in the past versus b) caused by trauma-driven behaviors that you haven't yet been able to change? You can't change the past but you CAN begin to change the habits and patterns that keep causing pain your life -- broken relationships, failed projects, lost opportunities. In this episode, I list ten common ways people...

People who were abused or neglected as children long to feel a sense of belonging. But when you join a group, you may often find you struggle to feel like you're truly a part of it -- and you may find excuses to stay on the periphery, or to leave. Few understand the way CPTSD is an injury to the ability to connect to other people; in this episode, I talk about what that feels like, and practical s...

People who were traumatized as children often grow up to either avoid relationships or to choose unavailable people who not only leave them unfulfilled but blocks them from meeting appropriate, available people who might add happiness to their lives. In this podcast, I respond to a letter from a woman who has never experienced more than fleeting relationships and knows that to find love; she'll ha...

People neglected as children often find themselves drawn to partners who have an avoidant attachment style -- emotionally cold, often withdrawing love and connection unexpectedly, triggering anxious partners to blame themselves and work overtime to make the relationship work. In this podcast, I respond to a woman whose avoidant ex-partner wants to try again -- while he dates other women. Find out...

Past abuse and neglect can leave you vulnerable to the idea of a GREAT LOVE: The feeling that someone special is out there can keep you depressed, longing, and unable to form close relationships with people who are in your life now. In this podcast, I respond to a letter from a woman who has been cheating on her husband with her EX-husband, and though the ex is never really coming back,...

SO many of my letter writers were raised by alcoholic parents; it's rare that any of them recover, change their self-destructive behavior, or acknowledge the harm they caused. When such a parent is dying, is it wise to demand they stop drinking in order to receive your help? In this podcast, I respond to a letter from a woman who is exasperated with her mother, who has cancer and flat-out refuses...

People traumatized as children often struggle to name, hold and express their boundaries, especially when isolated and lonely. This can lead you to attack your own needs and expectations, and to cooperate with people who lead you on with hope of a relationship, but who only want to feed off your romantic energy and make you a "side-chick." In this podcast, I respond to a letter from a woman w...

Almost everyone struggles with procrastination sometimes. But people who were traumatized as children, the most important work of your life may never get done because your instinctive reactions to stress, criticism and potential rejection can feel paralyzing. There is a way forward and in this podcast, I break it down, step by step so you can become productive, focused and full of energy to live y...

How do you know when something is RIGHT for you? If you were traumatized as a child you may have lost the ability to sense "rightness" -- a true fit with someone you love, a job or decision. It's hard to know when a choice is your hearts desire and when you are motivated by someone else's agenda, or a need for security. When this happens, you can end up with a life that feels wrong and is full of...

Can you be addicted to a person? If romantic relationships turn to obsession, especially after they're over, it's time to heal trauma bonds that "hook" you into people who are selfish, manipulative, and who "blow hot and cold." In this podcast, I respond to a letter from a man who struggles to detach from an ex who tries to keep him at arm's length but hooked on her all the same. Take my...

Trauma clutters our lives and emotions with habits and behavior that drive away healthy people; this might explain why you perceive there are "no good people out there." To attract and connect with healthy people, prepare by brightening your "cab light." This is a metaphor for the characteristics (that healthy people seek in a partner) that signal psychological health and emotional availability. I...

When someone mistreated you, have you ever responded with a desperate attempt to win their love, attempting to completely change yourself into the person you THOUGHT they wanted? That is a destructive form of distorted thinking that is common in people who grew up with abuse and neglect. When someone is abusing you, the LAST thing you need is to abandon yourself -- to deny your perception and give...

People neglected as children often find themselves drawn to partners who have an avoidant attachment style -- emotionally cold, often withdrawing love and connection unexpectedly, triggering anxious partners to blame themselves and work overtime to make the relationship work. In this podcast, I respond to a woman whose avoidant ex-partner wants to try again -- while he dates other women. Find out...

It's common for people who grew up with abuse and neglect to find themselves in codependent relationships. People use the term casually but being codependency fosters emptiness, poverty and rage. How can you tell if it's YOU or the other person who is bringing this to the dynamic? What role does CPTSD and childhood trauma play in developing codependency? In this podcast, I describe the brutal...

You are allowed to set boundaries around other people's drinking and drug use -- but what does that mean? In this podcast, I respond to a letter from a woman whose partner agreed not to smoke cigarettes or weed but has now slipped twice. She dreads leaving him but worries his broken promises will never stop. Hear my advice for dealing with other people's substance use and what I learned from...

CPTSD conditions you to become depressed, confused, and sometimes paralyzed in the face of betrayal. In this podcast, I respond to a letter from a woman whose husband has been poking holes in their condoms, sending her into a spiral of confusion. Learn how trauma from childhood symptoms can be healed when you face lies and deception. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:    https://bit.ly/40M2...

It's common for people who grew up with abuse and neglect to find themselves in codependent relationships. People use the term casually, but being codependency fosters emptiness, poverty, and rage. How can you tell if it's YOU or the other person who is bringing this to the dynamic? What role does CPTSD and childhood trauma play in developing codependency? In this podcast, I describe the brut...

Dysregulation is a core symptom of Complex-PTSD. If you had a rough childhood, you may have thought these symptoms were your fault -- personal failings that you're ashamed you haven't changed yet. Once you know the normal signs that childhood trauma has impacted you, you can drop the guilt and learn to adopt workarounds that help you re-regulate and solve life's problems. Take my FREE Course or Qu...

People with past trauma are often told that healing will take a LONG time. Some problems do take time, but others can be solved quickly by asking yourself the right questions. And solving one hard problem can pave the way for more positive changes that weren't possible before. In this podcast, I teach a powerful thought exercise that guides you toward actions you ALREADY KNOW you will stop negativ...

When it comes to healing CPTSD, there's abundant advice and hundreds of treatments, but few signs that any of it can truly change your life. If you're ready to move forward with your own recovery from past trauma, here are ten truths that will help you recognize and discard disempowering information and create an approach that works for YOU. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:    https://bit...

People who were abused and neglected as children often have more than their share of conflict and ruined friendships. In this episode, I teach the ways CPTSD can drive behaviors that damage your relationships, and what to do to heal. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:    https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership:  https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf