The Confident Swinger Podcast

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo talks about getting laid in the LS, when you don't think you're super attractive. The hard truth is, some people are more physically attractive than others. Even if you're not "classically" good looking, with a perfect face and a perfect body, you still want to get laid. Attractiveness and attraction aren't mutually exclusive. Ther...

Send us Fan Mail In this week's episode, Jo interviews Jennifer Kaylo about how to set yourself up for success with online dating, particularly lifestyle dating. In this day and age, a lot of people are meeting and connecting online. It's a great tool, if you know how best to use it to get the results you want. First, you need to find the right app or site to use. Second, need to get cle...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo talks about a common misunderstanding...the difference between being cocky and being confident. People are attracted to confidence. It's the one thing that draws people in more than anything else, more than a pretty face or a nice body. But many people confuse cockiness with confidence, when the truth is, they are VERY different. Cockiness comes from a fee...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo talks about flaws. Our own personal flaws. She talks about what flaws are, and why they really aren't nearly as negative as we think. Our flaws actually make us relatable; they help us connect with others. They help us become more accepting of ourselves, and of others. And we see our flaws way differently than other people see them. And really, nobody actu...

Send us Fan Mail We all have things that we want to do, but we feel like we just aren't ready. We tell ourselves that we need more time, or more information, or more support, or more... something. Most of the time we aren't really sure WHAT we need more of, we just know that we are scared, and we don't feel ready to move forward. In this episode, Jo talks about that Not Ready feelin...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo reviews and reflects on the past year. And she talks about what she's learned from doing The Confident Swinger Podcast for a full year. Support the show Old music (<80): X Ray Vision by Slynk New music (episodes 80+): The Heat by Vladimir Ershov New New music (season 3): Level by Pryces for intro, and Take the Reins by Hey Pluto for outro

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo talks about when the best time is to make a move. The truth is, when you start thinking about making a move, there's a good chance your brain is going to start talking some shit, and you're going to start second guessing yourself, and you're going to feel overwhelmed trying to figure out when the "perfect" time is to make a move. That&a...

Send us Fan Mail So many people say that they struggle with knowing whether someone is interested and attracted to them, or whether they are just being friendly. So in this episode, Jo tackles that problem. She talks about some signs and cues to look for to determine whether someone is interested in you, and she gives some tips. But she also gets real, and asks if you are just choosing not to know...

Send us Fan Mail You may not be getting the results that you want in the Lifestyle. Maybe you aren't making the connections that you want, or maybe you keep getting ghosted, and you can't figure out why. The harsh truth is, maybe YOU'RE the problem. Maybe your behaviors are turning people off, and you don't even realize it. In this week's episode, Jo talks about some of th...

Send us Fan Mail On today's episode, Jo interviews Layla London, host of the Curious Girl Diaries podcast. We talk about how important it is to prioritize your sex life, and one way to do that is to make a sex bucket list. Even swingers can fall into a stagnant, boring sexual routine. It's time to bring back the excitement and newness that the lifestyle once brought to your life! You def...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo talks about how to vet people online. A lot of people choose to meet people online for various reasons. And it's important to make sure that the people that you are meeting online are real, are honest, are trustworthy, and are a good fit for your dynamic, rules and boundaries. Jo talks about vetting people with a specific list of questions asked upfront, o...

Send us Fan Mail This week, Jo talks about showing up with confidence at parties and events.  We all want to be found attractive, and one of the things that most people find attractive is confidence. We don't have to FEEL confident to ACT confident. Confidence is an action before it's a feeling.  Jo gives us three main points in showing up with confidence; playing to your strengths, havi...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo talks about the friend zone, that dreaded place where YOU want to get down and get freaky, but the other person just sees you as a friend. She talks about reasons why that happens, especially in long term friendships. And she also gives you some tips and suggestions to get OUT of the friend zone. Attraction is a super fluid thing; it is ever changing, because p...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo talks about the difference between fitting in and belonging. Fitting in means being accepted for being like other people. It means changing who you are, so you are LIKE other people. It doesn't take accept your differences, your uniqueness. And when you do this, when you have this mindset, you are telling yourself that you aren't worthy unless you are...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode, Jo talks about insecurities and how to deal with them. Insecurities are something that everyone have. If not managed, they can negatively affect our feelings and our actions, and hold us back from taking the action that we want, the actions that will lead to a full, happy life. Jo talks about her experience with insecurities on a bachelorette party. Suppor...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo talks about being proactive versus being reactive. When you are proactive, you are MAKING things happen for yourself. When you are reactive, you are responding to things that happen to you. A lot of people want to play more, and they have a lot of reasons why they DON'T or CAN'T play more. But there a great quote by Ryan Blair; it says "If it&apo...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode, Jo interviews Mistress Leah of the House of Wonderland. She is the Head Mistress of the Fuckcation Dungeon Staff, and author of the book Swinging Into BDSM: The Swinger's Guide to Respectfully and Successfully Navigating the Basics. We talk about her book, what bdsm is really all about and how to safely get started into kink and bdsm. And we also talk...

Send us Fan Mail This week, Jo talks about how to break the ice and approach people, especially at parties or events. If you want to make connections with other people, either for friendship or for play, you are going to have to put yourself out there. And yes, that's hard and scary for some people, but sometimes you just have to tell your crazy, overprotective mom brain to sit down and STFU!...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo talks about gossip, what it is and why we do it. And she talks about why spreading gossip is detrimental to your self-esteem and confidence. She also talks about what you should do, instead, to build the life and the confidence that you want. Source: Brene Brown, BRAVING acronym for components of trust. This episode is sponsored by my Get Out of Your Head &...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo talks about alcohol and the Lifestyle. A LOT of people use is to loosen up, and make themselves more comfortable, and to feel less afraid, especially at parties and events. Jo talks about the reasons why people feel those feelings. And she also addresses the downside of the lowering of your inhibitions, especially to the point of drunkenness. Things like crossi...

Send us Fan Mail Last week, Jo talked about when your partner gets more attention than you do, particularly in the Lifestyle. So, this week, she talks about the flip of that... when YOU get more attention than your partner.  It is important to be respectful of your partner at all times, and to make sure that everyone is getting their needs met. Jo talks this, but also the potential dangers of gett...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo talks about how it feels when your partner gets more attention in the Lifestyle than you. There are lots of reasons for this; maybe they are more outgoing, or more charismatic, or funnier, or more positive and encouraging, or more confident. Or maybe they are better looking than you. Or maybe they are a women... women tend to get more attention in the LS than m...

Send us Fan Mail Jo talks about sending messages to people. Everybody in the LS, well, most everybody in the LS, wants to make connections with other people. And for a lot of people, that starts with sending messages to people. But so often, people send out messages and get... crickets. They get no response, and they have no idea why.  In this episode, Jo gives some you some tips for getting a bet...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Jo talks about seducing your partner. In the LS, you tend to spend a decent amount of time meeting new people and connecting with new people. And hopefully, seducing new people. But the LS is meant to enhance your relationship, and sometimes, people can get carried away with the excitement and novelty of new people, and sometimes, people can forget that they still...

Send us Fan Mail Jo talks about negative thoughts, and how it's impossible to stop them. The key to managing negative thoughts isn't to try to stop having them, which is impossible anyway, but to learn to stop fighting against them and accept them.  She gives tips to managing your negative thoughts. This may not be a sexy topic, but it's all part of the big picture that leads to con...