The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

An episode that explores the behavior of stealing and the underlying factors that contribute to it. Stealing is a frequent concern among parents and professionals, yet there is a lack of comprehensive resources on the subject. The goal is to provide a single source that explores the behavior of stealing in depth, taking into account the underlying factors that contribute to it. In this episode, yo...

An episode exploring the feeling of disappointment as an underlying cause of many baffling behaviors. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why and how we avoid feeling disappointment The neurobiology of disappointment Behaviors associated with avoiding disappointment The importance of embracing disappointment Resources mentioned in this podcast: Robyn's book: https://robyngobbel.com/bafflingbook Re...

An episode all about the evolution of the podcast and how the name change will reflect the vast audience of families with children who have baffling behaviors.  In this episode, you’ll learn: The origins of the podcast The huge impact of the podcast Why we're renaming the show  Who the podcast is for Resources mentioned in this podcast: Robyn's book: https://robyngobbel.com/bafflingbook...

You aren’t parenting wrong. It’s not your fault. Asking “What am I doing wrong?” is the wrong question! Here’s what be curious about instead. In this episode, you’ll learn: That you’re not doing it wrong (well, not any more wrong than anyone else) A more helpful to question to ask ourselves when our kids are struggling Why having kids who are never dysregulated isn’t the goal Resources mentioned i...

We cannot be trauma informed without changing our beliefs about human behavior.  In this episode, you’ll learn: How staying focused on behavior is objectifying and dehumanizing Why we cannot heal vulnerable nervous systems with objectifying approaches How our culture sets parents up to believe good parents are in control of their kids behaviors How to begin deconstructing these beliefs so we can s...

This is NOT an episode about how to make your kid go to school.  What you WILL learn in this episode: What is pathological demand avoidance, or PDA? Schools valuing attendance above all is not helpful You are a good parent even if your kid doesn’t go to school That sometimes, all we have to do is be nice Resources mentioned in this podcast: Can’t Not Won’t by Eliza Fricker The Family Experience of...

In this episode, you’ll learn: Healthy use and overuse when it comes to screen time Consuming screen time with mindful intentionality  Helpful tips for transition time away from screens Power with instead of power over and having collaborative conversations What do we do now that the screens are turned off? Screen Time & Mental Health Summit The Bright & Quirky Screen Time & Mental Hea...

A deep and touching conversation with Carrie Contey, PhD. about the profound human work of being in relationship with another developing human and remembering their essence in the midst of challenging behaviors and chaos. In this episode, you’ll learn: What does Carrie Contey mean by Knot Parenting What it is to be human and care for humans as they grow A bigger container for holding the work of p...

Can you please talk more about blocked care? This Friday Q&A is a follow up to Episode 123- Healing Blocked Care.  If connection is a biological imperative, how can I be experiencing blocked care? How does blocked care fit into the owl, watchdog, and possum approach to the nervous system? What are some more tips for parents experiencing blocked care? This is a Friday Q&A episode, where I a...

Robyn explores the grief in parenting kids with vulnerable nervous systems  In this episode, you’ll learn: The relationship between trauma and grief Why it's important to make space for grief in our kids and in ourselves The role of self-compassion How a lack of media representation of your parenting journey causes grief Resources mentioned in this podcast: Robyn's book: https://robyngob...

Why does my child hate having their feelings validated? In this episode, I talk about the top 5 reasons I see about why kids don’t like their feelings validated: It feels too vulnerable It feels intrusive You’re getting it wrong You’re on the watchdog or possum pathway They are too far down the watchdog & possum pathway This is a Friday Q&A episode, where I answer a listener’s question. Ad...

A conversation with Meredith Ethington, author of The Mother Load: Surviving the Daily Grind without Losing Your Ever Loving Mind about mental health and the mental load of parenting. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why authentic storytelling about parenting is so important Why being honest about mental health struggles in parenting matters How to hold space for our children's vulnerability an...

What does this way of parenting look like with teens? In this episode, I: Reassure you that teens want to be parented with playfulness and connection, too Explore what’s hard about realizing we don’t have control over anyone’s behavior- including our teens Remind you that the behavior you want to see from your teen are all owl brain skills, so keep using regulation, connection, and felt safety to...

For the mom and dad or grandma or grandpa or caregiver who is worried they are making things worse because of how they are parenting. You have tried so hard to be the parent you want to be. You have tried so hard to break cycles. To not parent the way you were parented. And I’ll bet that sometimes, you end up parenting or behaving in exactly the way you are trying not to. And maybe sometimes it’s...

Should my child- who has a history of attachment trauma- be only doing family therapy? Or is it OK for them to do individual therapy? In this episode, I: Reassure you that this is a nuanced decision with no clear answer Describe when individual therapy might be most appropriate Describe when family therapy might be most appropriate This is a Friday Q&A episode, where I answer a listener’s ques...

A conversation with Melissa Corkum and Lisa Qualls, authors of Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith about blocked care- what it is, what causes it, and how families can begin to recover.  In this episode, you’ll learn: What is blocked care What are the symptoms How can you overcome blocked care Resources mentioned in this podca...

What is a vulnerable nervous system and how do you know if your child has one? Understanding what is meant by "vulnerable nervous system" can help you support your child with big, baffling behaviors. In this episode, you’ll learn: What do I mean by vulnerable nervous system How to know if your child has a vulnerable nervous system What causes nervous system vulnerability How to support a...

Part 3 of a 3 part series on toxic shame discusses how toxic shame heals and gives parents a map for how to be with kids who experience toxic shame. In this episode, you’ll learn: There is no technique or tool to heal shame What toxic shame really needs in order to heal The role of memory reconsolidation in healing toxic shame Why holding the truth for our kids matters Resources mentioned in this...

Understanding how your child's - or your - behaviors protect against re-experiencing toxic shame and what it looks like will help you along the way to healing toxic shame. In this episode, you’ll learn: What behaviors might you see that are related to toxic shame How and why behaviors protect us from re-experiencing toxic shame How Internal Family Systems helps us make sense of these behavior...

Understanding the neurobiology of toxic shame helps us understand how to begin to change this for our kids. In this episode, you’ll learn: What is the difference between shame and toxic shame What is the neurobiology of toxic shame How does toxic shame develop? Why do good things trigger shame for some people? Robyn's book is available for pre-order!!! Resources mentioned in this podcast: Rob...

The Club is currently welcoming new members and I know you have questions- questions that ultimately boil down to: Is The Club right for me and my family? How can The Club help? I also answer very practical questions like: What’s Included in The Club? (so much!) How much direct interaction do I get with Robyn (lots!) Is it easy to quit when I’m ready? (YES!) Welcome to the Friday Q&A series! I...

Robyn shares her personal journey with strengthening her own psychological boundaries. In this episode, you’ll learn: Robyn’s experience as a client in a therapy setting Allowing others to have their own emotional journeys without interfering Caring for your watchdog and possum brains with your owl brain The title for Robyn’s book coming out September 2023!!! Pre-order HERE Resources mentioned in...

My four-year-old is relentless in their demand for constant attention. But especially when I’m doing something like checking a text message, watching something on my phone, or talking to someone else- even just their dad! If I don’t pay attention immediately, he freaks out. How do I get this under control? In this episode, I: Reassure you that the need for connection is totally normal! Describe th...

In part 3 of this series on Boundaries with Connection, Juliane Taylor Shore talks us through how boundaries work in relationships with our children - relationships where we have to show up every day - and why it is so important for us to have good psychological boundaries when our children are verbally aggressive.  In this episode, you’ll learn: What are psychological boundaries How do psychologi...

I’ve been listening for a while and the watchdog and possum brain ideas have really helped me. Is it OK to teach this to my kids too? I’m worried they’ll start using it as excuses. I get this question all the time! If we teach our kids about the watchdog and possum brain are they going to start saying things like “My watchdog brain made me hit my sister!” In this episode, I: Outline the benefits o...