The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

In part 2 of this series on Boundaries with Connection, we explore how to set boundaries that create success by providing structure and containment that offers safety, connection, and co-regulation. In this episode, you’ll learn: How boundaries can create physical and emotional safety How to create the kind of boundaries your child really needs for continued development How to set boundaries with...

Focusing on understanding what's driving behavior can sometimes make it feel like we aren't addressing the behavior at all. It can feel as if we are boundaryless and permissive. This episode sheds light on what boundaries really are and how focusing on regulation, connection and felt-safety increases compassionate boundaries in response to behaviors. In this episode, you’ll learn: What b...

THIS EPISODE IS A REPLAY Understanding behavior helps us actually solve the problem, leads to compassion, and actually helps behavior to change, but first we must understand why we are so afraid that understanding behaviors means we are excusing "bad" behaviors. In this episode, you’ll learn: The difference between understanding behavior and excusing behavior Why understanding behavior i...

Does your child yell, scream, or otherwise refuse to talk about their owl, watchdog, or possum brain? They tell you it’s stupid or tell you to stop talking or get extra silly or just don’t talk? I hear this from a LOT of parents (and I experienced it a lot in the play therapy room). This doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for your child. Promise. In this episode you’ll learn: The developmental milestone...

In this episode, I unravel how to extend connection to our children while acknowledging that some might see this connection as a threat. I offer insights on toning down the demand for connection, enabling our children to relax in it, and thereby strengthen their stress response system. I also reference the previous episodes in this four-part series by talking about the science of opposition, some...

If offering safety and connection is the antidote to oppositional behavior, what do you do if connection isn’t experienced as safe or regulating by your child? In this episode you’ll learn: How connection and protection can get tied together How to keep offering connection, even when it’s consistently rejected by your child The science behind why YOU need to be receiving connection - and how you c...

Last week we talked about the science of oppositional behavior. This week, let’s look at strategies to help children rest into felt safety so their nervous system feels better and their oppositional protective strategies can decrease. In this episode you’ll learn: An invitation to consider some of our cultural beliefs around opposition in the parent/child relationship How to use our grown-up brain...

What if oppositional behavior is a normal response to feeling unsafe? In this episode, we unfold the layers of oppositional behavior and its roots in the nervous system. We look into the diagnostic complexities of Oppositional Defiant Disorder and dive into how our own state of the nervous system is important in helping our children navigate their Watchdog and Possum pathways. In this episode you’...

This latest episode unpacks the advanced parenting strategy of 'Match the Energy, but not the Dysregulation', a technique rooted in insights from polyvagal theory and interpersonal neurobiology. It’s a nuanced approach that requires resilience and patience, but when applied consistently, it can offer a remarkably accurate emotional mirror for your children and pave the way for improved c...

If you're thinking about joining The Club (between now and October 3), let me fill you in on some of the details! In this bonus episode you'll learn: The real reason The Club works What you get when you join The Club Club bonuses How The Club could help your family How easy it is to leave The Club when you're ready Check out all the details and register to join at https://RobynGobbe...

Marshall Lyles is here with me today to help me reflect on the journey of bringing Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors into the world. I knew Marshall was just the person to ask to help me with this. He asked questions I was so grateful to reflect on. Thank you for witnessing this experience for me and allowing me to accompany your journey. Book!!!- Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors...

Happy happy birthday to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors. I wanted to celebrate with you! Y'all mean soooo much to me and resonating in the excitement of the book with you felt really important. This episode contains a short reading from the book that I hope you enjoy! If you've received the book already and have had a chance to read it, will you take a moment to leave a review...

The best way to love your child’s watchdog and possum parts is by loving your own. Today, as I move toward wrapping up this writing-and-publishing-a-book chapter in my life, let’s talk a little more about the neuroscience of owls, watchdogs, and possums, why the science matters, and how my work has surprisingly become more about helping the grown-ups love their own owl, watchdog, and possum brains...

You’ve probably wondered how you can know the neuroscience of behavior and have a toolbox full of tools…and still struggle to actually USE those tools. Most parents have the thought “If I know what to do, why aren’t I actually doing it???” It’s not because you’re a bad parent. It’s because you’re dysregulated, have a sensitized stress response system, and probably have some implicit memories that...

Instead of responding or reacting to challenging behaviors, think about it as calming the watchdog or the possum brain. Once you understand how your child’s behaviors correspond to their level of dysregulation and lack of felt safety, you’ll be able to use strategies (for regulation, connection, and felt safety) that really work. In this episode we’ll discuss: How challenging behaviors are the res...

Wondering how to tackle your child's baffling behaviors effectively? Join me as I share insights from my comprehensive framework, as well as practical tools and an understanding of your own nervous system. We'll break down how three elements interweave to address complex behaviors and also discuss the subtitle behind my book, "Brain-body-sensory Strategies That Really Work." In...

Understanding what behavior really is helps us: Stop playing behavior whack-a-mole Use strategies and tools that really work Stay more regulated so we can use our thinking brain to make good choices about what to do next We’re going back to basics with today’s podcast episode with a short exploration of the neuroscience of behavior- especially the most baffling behavior. Resources mentioned in thi...

Are you struggling to find common ground with your partner when it comes to parenting? This episode will shed light on this common dilemma as we discuss understanding behavior, creating a support plan, and cultivating authenticity and honesty within the family. We'll explore the reasons behind resistance to paradigm shifts and dive into the intricacies of the owl, watchdog, and possum metapho...

Ever found yourself struggling to understand and support a child who simply doesn’t fit the mold? Dayna Abraham's way to Calm the Chaos might be just what you're looking for.  Dayna's journey from being a sibling to a challenging brother, to teaching dysregulated kids, and then parenting a unique child herself, offers a wealth of wisdom and practical strategies. Dayna has taken ever...

Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. But what if we told you that understanding the balance between enabling and co-regulation could be your guiding light? This week, we break down this crucial contrast, demystifying the term 'enabling', often misconstrued in the mental health field, and venture into the science behind lowering d...

Ever wondered how to build resilience in children who have suffered trauma? Our guest for today's episode, Ginger, Program Director for the Attachment and Trauma Network, gives a fresh perspective on it. Ginger's personal journey is inspiring, and her experience as a former child abuse investigator, an adoptive parent, and a survivor of postpartum and postadoption depression has shaped h...

What if I told you that there's a revolutionary approach to parenting that's shifting the traditional power dynamics and nurturing stronger relationships of trust and understanding? My latest conversation with Amanda Diekman, author of the groundbreaking book "Low Demand Parenting", explores this very concept. Together, we tread into the challenging terrain of parenting childre...

In this podcast episode, Robyn Gobbel interviews Sarah R. Moore, the author of Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior , and founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting .  Sarah was working a corporate job when as a new mom, a conversation with a pediatrician who discouraged her from responding to her baby's cries ignited a fire in her to research and unders...

Marna Pacheco, the creator of Capeable Weighted Products, started her journey due to the needs of her daughter.  Marna's devotion to her family and her relentless pursuit of research led to the development of SmartWeight-Technology , a different approach to weighted products, wrapped up in a sweet little pink cape - the first Capeable product. In this episode, you’ll learn: The Three C’s of S...

Looking for practical strategies to nourish a fried nervous system? Living with someone who has significant vulnerability in their nervous system can lead to a sensitized stress response system, resulting in unpredictable and sometimes unsafe behaviors. This can leave our own nervous systems in a state of distress. While we often discuss secondary trauma in parenting kids with trauma histories, th...