The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

This podcast probably isn’t your first experience with a parenting ‘expert’ or-- if you listen because you’re a therapist, this probably isn’t your first experience with a child therapist ‘expert.’ The parents and professionals I know are searching for something that makes sense, something that works. You may have had a felt sense all along that some of the most mainstream ways we support kids and...

Amy Stoeber is a clinical psychologist in the Portland, OR area.  She has a small private practice where she works with kids and families who have a history of trauma and toxic stress.  Amy also trains medical professionals on recognizing trauma in their patients and families, and then helps them know how to support the building of strong thriving families and resilient children. Amy is at the for...

“Life is messy. Parenting is messy.  Cooking is messy.  But if we do it together, we are creating experiences of togetherness with our children that teaches them they are safe, loved, and empowered.”     Social media might be good for something after all- like meeting really neat people like Chef Kibby from Cookin’ With Kibby. Kibby is a professional chef and has been teaching culinary skills to o...

Y'all- I'm on vacation!  Well not really, I'm still working but I need a rest from recording new podcasts!  40 episodes in a row!  Not bad for a podcast on a whim ;) Today I'm sharing with you a podcast episode from when I was a guest on The Therapist Uncensored podcast .  This was my second time on Therapist Uncensored- the first time was a few years ago when I got to record l...

Y'all- I'm on vacation!  Well not really, I'm still working but I need a rest from recording new podcasts!  40 episodes in a row!  Not bad for a podcast on a whim ;) Today I'm sharing with you a podcast episode from when I was a guest on The Empowered to Connect podcast.  It was one of my favorite interviews ever because it felt like I became instant friends with the hosts, JD...

Y'all- I'm on vacation!  Well not really, I'm still working but I need a rest from recording new podcasts!  40 episodes in a row!  Not bad for a podcast on a whim ;) Today I'm sharing with you a podcast episode from when I was a guest on The Attachment Theory in Action podcast with Karen Buckwalter (do you remember when Karen was my guest??) Earlier this year we recorded a 2-pa...

Y'all- I'm on vacation!  Well not really, I'm still working but I need a rest from recording new podcasts!  40 episodes in a row!  Not bad for a podcast on a whim ;) Today I'm sharing with you a podcast episode from when I was a guest on The Attachment Theory in Action podcast with Karen Buckwalter (do you remember when Karen was my guest??) Earlier this year we recorded a 2-pa...

Today we wrap up this month's focus on attachment with my dear mentor and friend, Bonnie Badenoch.   Bonnie Badenoch, PhD, LMFT is a thought-leader in the relational neurosciences.  When I think about her contribution to this emerging field of study, I think ‘integrator.’  Bonnie has helped us all feel into the many different strands that are woven together to become what we now call relation...

Part 6 of 6 in the June 2021 series on attachment! The part you've probably been waiting for: how does attachment change?  If you haven't caught the previous five episodes in this series on attachment, be sure to check them out. In this episode, we look at  How important it is to recognize insecure attachment as protective, trusting in the truth that things only change once we stop tryin...

***Possible Trigger Warning*** Learning about disorganized attachment might feel overwhelming and bring up uncomfortable feelings.  Listen in a place and at a time you can take breaks and seek regulation.  Titrate yourself!  Maybe read the article on the blog instead of listening to the podcast.  www. RobynGobbel.com/disorganizedattachment *********** Another episode in the June 2021 series on att...

Another episode in the June 2021 series on attachment! Today is all about insecure avoidant attachment. Avoidant attachment is in the category of 'organized' attachment- meaning, the infant figures out an organized way to get their attachment needs met in the best way possible.  So smart! In this episode, we look at  The behavior patterns that lead to avoidant attachment The attachment n...

Another episode in the June 2021 series on attachment! Today is all about insecure anxious attachment. Anxious attachment is in the category of 'organized' attachment- meaning, the infant figures out an organized way to get their attachment needs met in the best way possible.  So smart! In this episode, we look at  The behavior patterns that lead to anxious attachment The attachment need...

Here we are with the THIRD episode in this monthly focus on attachment! Today is allllll about secure attachment.    85% of the time, a child’s attachment experience will parallel the working model of attachment of the principal person caring for her.  ~Eric Hesse Whoa.  Well, if that's the case, the obviously we have to first talk about attachment in adults and caregivers. In this episode we...

June 2021 is allllll about attachment!  We kicked off this special series on attachment last week with my interview with author Bethany Saltman and her memoir "Strange Situation." Today- we are going back to basics. Attachment is something that gets a lot of airtime but also, a lot of confusion.   In today's episode we'll talk about John Bolwby and how he brilliantly noticed th...

Bethany Saltman is the author of part memoir part biography Strange Situation - A Mother’s Journey into the Science of Attachment .  Bethany is a professional researcher, writer, and longtime Zen student who went searching for what she felt was missing when she was a new mom.  Like myself, Bethany discovered Dr. Sears’ The Baby Book on attachment parenting when she was pregnant with her now 15-yea...

I'll bet you are familiar with this baffling phenomenon. Everything seems great.  Fun!  Even laughter and real good times. And all of the sudden- completely dysregulation and melt-down. Sometimes even just the anticipation of something fun can lead to dysregulation.  I know that understanding the why doesn't exactly solve this problem, but I definitely find that understanding the why can...

What if I told you that calm isn't best?  Calm isn't what we are working toward!  And prioritizing calm gives other states of the nervous system a bad wrap!  Calm is just a byproduct of an attempt to regulate!  In fact, there are risks to focusing on calm as our primary goal.  On today's episode, I'm thrilled to introduce you to Lisa Dion, LPC, RPT-S, is an international teache...

On May 10 and 11, 2021, I taught a free masterclass called What Behavior Really Is and How to Change it.   Maybe you were there!  But maybe you weren’t.  To be honest, I do not love watching videos myself.  I would much rather put in my ear buds and listen to the audio only- even if it meant missing the slides.  So, with that in mind, I’m releasing the audio from that masterclass here as a bonus p...

You’ve asked yourself “Is this a behavior that’s coming from my child’s trauma?  Or is this regular acting out kid behavior???” Sometimes it’s pretty obvious but if you’re asking yourself that question, you’re probably in a situation where it isn’t obvious. What if I told you it doesn’t matter? Hear me out. Why do you want to figure that out?  Usually because it feels like you’ll handle the situat...

Maybe 'hard' doesn't even come close to describing your Mother's Day. If so, this episode is for you. I awoke at 4am this morning.  Not in the plan but sometimes it happens.  Up alone in the dark I decided to record an episode for everyone out there who is dreading today.  I see you.  Your pain is real and it's valid and I see you. I am sending infinite amounts compassion...

Marshall Lyles is one of my favorite humans on the planet.  How did I get so lucky as to call him one of my closest friends, as well as a dear colleague who enjoys the creation process with me. Marshall is a dad, a therapist, a creator.  We met and connected over our love for supporting the families of kids impacted by trauma, but our relationship has grown into so much more. Marshall is one of th...

Kids who have been hurt inside connection and relationship protect themselves from getting hurt again. This can leave us feeling that they don't want connection. Which leaves us feeling like we don't want to offer connection.  It starts to hurt too bad to keep offering something so vulnerable when we keep getting rejected. Maybe it would help to know that humans need connection to surviv...

You know someone is going to be a ton of fun when their nickname is Queen of Lycra.  Dear listeners, let me introduce you to Marti Smith, Occupational Therapist, TBRI Practitioner, and Fellow with the Child Trauma Academy. Marti and I could talk for hours about the sensory system, the body, movement, and the overlap between all of this an attachment- but we'll have to come back another time f...

The good Texas social worker that I was (am???) meant I discovered...and loved...Dr. Brene Brown's work on shame resilience pretty early on. I loved it.  Finally.  A way out of shame! Except...then I stopped loving it.  It seemed I couldn't even do shame resilience right because all the things Dr. Brown talked about weren't helping me. It wasn't that I wasn't doing it righ...

Lacy Alana beautifully reminds us that we don't have to be perfect.  Our messiness can meet each other's messiness.  We can welcome our kids' messiness, and find the strength to keep welcoming it...even when it seems like nothing is working.  Lacy is a therapist, program developer, trapeze artist, and improv genius who comes to the podcast as an adult who understands childhood traum...