The Ascertainers

Send us Fan Mail We kick off 2025's first episode with an array of sighs.  Seems about right. Daylight Savings Time: The days aren't the only thing getting longer--amiright? Pull tab blues Newt's--It's the place to be! Pat K shoutout SpaceX vs NASA Time Zones Radio Game Yacht Rock Documentary on MAX Christopher Cross Michael McDonald / Jimmy Fallon experiment Toto Session Man T...

Send us Fan Mail This one comes in a little hot at the start.  Possibly the grind of 92 weeks or so of Friday night recording sessions is taking its toll?  Nah, we got back on track quickly enough.  Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas/Happy Hannukah and has a Happy New Year!  Thanks for listening! Typhoid Mike Dave Foley Cameo  (check out link below) Errors and Omissions Newt's--Smash Burger...

Send us Fan Mail This one was recorded in a matinee session the day after Thanksgiving.  Hangovers were in play for two of the three involved.  Jim's brother, Jeff is our guest. Canned cranberry Scurvy Almost a sports podcast Shoutout Bill S Newt's has a new Burger called the Power Trip Morning Show Burger--go eat it! Radio Game After school stuff as kids Gilligan's Island Snacks Ca...

Send us Fan Mail We follow up the delightfully wholesome matinee episode with Jim's Mom with this s**t show of debauchery.  Right on brand and maybe a little over the line (which, by the way, is the brand) there are laughs to be enjoyed on this one.  Bon apetit. Fueled by red beer Old home week at Newt's Sweet Hot Chicken Sammy Errors and Omissions--tooth talk Bands that shuffled the lin...

Send us Fan Mail It's the beginning of the Holiday Season so we asked Jim's Mom, Ellie, if she'd like to join us and class up the joint a bit.  We'd like to have Mark's Mom on, but her agent is playing hardball.   Shout out Apple Valley License Bureau Age gaps Newt's--Jim goes rogue More George Washington tooth talk The Hands Story Thanksgiving favorites Radio Game Th...

Send us Fan Mail We got our years a little bit out of order, but this week is 1979 albums.  The fall off between 1979 and 80 is kind of the beginning of the end, so we need a new premise.  Some decent laughs on this one.  Enjoy--and thanks for listening You had ONE job Mccarthur Park Newt's Seriously Great Burgers Boat piss Bootleg wine Singer transitions Pink Floyd history lesson 1979 Albums...

Send us Fan Mail Here we go on a first of two recordings in one session.  We haven't done a double in a while, and next week you'll find out why.  Original plan was to talk 1979, but time got away, and we improvised. Bootleg/Pirate Radio Purple People Eaters Mark goes blue Let us salvage your week USA! Ta Daah! Newt's:  Contract discussions Rennaissance Fair Back to Newt's--Pul...

Send us Fan Mail We were overdue for a guest, so we invited neighbor Jeff from WI to come on and impart his wisdom on us.  We were going to talk about state stereotypes, but we wound up just shooting the breeze and learning a thing or two about MN's neighbor to the east.  We'll do music next time.   Special guest neighbor Jeff Nobody prepared Newt's--featuring Cory the Comedian All...

Send us Fan Mail Following up on the smashing success of our inaugural Mount Rushmore series, we explore 1978, which happens to be a very strong year for rock music. Jim forgets his dollar--again Mount Rushmore explained--again Another thanks to feegee for our original theme music Pat K's email  Eddie Money miss Newt's --Apple Valley Minnesota's premiere juicy burger, ice cold beer,...

Send us Fan Mail Instead of just talking about cool albums from a great year, 1977, Jim decides that we come up with a definitive top 4 each.  Mark did not understand the assignment, which is as entertaining as it is disappointing. Mark's red beer in his giant mug Vikings choke again Iceland's famous Penis Museum Newt's was HOPPING! Shoutout neighbor Amy Mark feels bad about hammeri...

Send us Fan Mail Look, they're not all first round picks. OK? --Allen Gamble to Terry Hoitz, The Other Guys It's not your fault Mark starts swearing Right in the breadbasket Newt's--Pull tab Winners! PUP list for curling is apparently a thing Radio Game--Newt's staff picks Headphone guy at the bar Another Shark Tank idea 1976 Rock Albums--Boston, Leftoverature, 2112, Hotel Cali...

Send us Fan Mail It's Episode 82 already.  You'd think the product would be far better by now.  There are actually a few good laughs on this one, so please enjoy and thank you for listening! Venus Flytrap Mark's musical frustrations Jim's airport reunion MN Vikings remain undefeated at 5-0 Go Lynx? Jim's wreath kid The Schenker brothers Newts--Apple Vally MN's Premier...

Send us Fan Mail Back at it after a week off.  Give it a listen to see if it made any difference. Visit to the Corporate Office Newt's Come for the Burgers, stay for Sara's new hair style! "Up North" Shoutout Jim's old friends Bruce S and Rob K How will the Vikings blow it this year? RIP Pete Rose--they made an example out of you Updating "the list" Heaven's...

Send us Fan Mail Due to our very demanding social calendars, we couldn't record on our normal night, so we grabbed this episode off the top shelf of the pantry--next to the Cream of Tartar and coffee filters for a pot no longer owned. Mark's movie review of Go Shoutout to Mark's buddy and former Ascertainers guest, Steve Are we killing off rock stars? Sorry Rachel Maddow Emphasize t...

Send us Fan Mail We think we may have found a loophole to play music without being sued.  Stay tuned and save up bail money for us just in case. Newt's--still #1 in our hearts, livers and stomachs.  Go there! Should we go green? Mark spurs international tension The big watch Pickpocket vs Peeping Tom Radio Game* Who's better than Rob Halford? Hooked on a Feeling Obscure Rock Facts/Trivia...

Send us Fan Mail Today we are joined by multi-episode guest, Jason.  This one is the second attempt of the night as the first one got a little too real (colonoscopies were discussed).  This one is pretty fun, though. Apologies to Dr Seuss Jerry Garcia's nub Radio Game First 8oo8 witnessed in a movie National Geographic Newt's--Jalapeno Popper Burger.  Give it a try! Yes shoutout Influent...

Send us Fan Mail Dripping with overconfidence from the previous episode, our heroes realize that luster will soon fade, so they barely even try on this one.  They lean into the suck.  Enjoy! Another one bites the dust Best of the worst? Easily Distracted Errors and Omissions Newt's--Legendary Tots Radio Game --the pot grows Jim's non-partisan political observations Check out these balls...

Send us Fan Mail Taking a rare break from music (pause for laughter) to bring you a universally popular topic--Pizza.  Of course, we get to it and then distract ourselves a time or three.  During Errors and Omissions, we get very close to passing out while laughing.   Sci Fi philosophy Jim's gets his podcast review from Mark Jay Mohr Brokeback denial Newt's promo--we again get sidetracke...

Send us Fan Mail This one is a tad spicy and faster paced.  Makes up for when we usually mail it in. Early shot at Noah Lyles Convention synopsis Jim's playing hurt Todd O shoutout Mark's fashion mastery White socks--in or out Newt's--New bartender Beth is legit Radio Game Errors & Omissions Word game in last write up (answers in the hashtags below) Offensive Commercials Armour...

Send us Fan Mail We went into this episode with the best intentions of talking about singers with average-to-bad voices that worked perfectly for their band, but then Jim made a life choice at dinner.  He ordered a big salad and somehow that decision--and its aftermath--took up a healthy portion of the episode. Should've known better. Touch and Go Bert Convey reference Does Jim correct Mark t...

Send us Fan Mail Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee, and nobody doesn't like Little River Band.  It had to be said.  Join us as we rip on each other for a solid 45 minutes (but in a good way). Your non-political oasis Radio Game enhancement $$ More on Mark's giant watch Golf controversy (and bonus Goldmember reference) Shoutout potential new listener LeeAnn (D.O.B. 1990) Noah Lyles--the R...

Send us Fan Mail When you hit rock bottom, you've got nowhere else to go but up!  Our daubers were down after last episode, but we rallied and this one is just about as good/bad as the average.  Some laughs, some interesting trivia, and (spoiler alert), nobody wins the radio game. Davenport Sears--what happened? Newt's--New Bartender--possibly named Beth A rare Audrey sighting Errors and...

Send us Fan Mail Due to scheduling issues and a bout with Covid, we had a 3-week hiatus from recording.  You might think we'd be rejuvenated and ready to deliver some mind-blowing stuff, but we both agreed that this episode might be one of our most low-key yet.  Maybe you like that sort of thing, but we are working on bouncing back with some more upbeat stuff for our next couple. Now you have...

Send us Fan Mail Super-guest Steve (Mark's friend, not Jim's brother--who is no slouch) is on for our first ever successful 3rd recording in one session.  We really wanted to talk about 1981 music, but what do you know?  We talked mostly about cars of that era. Around the world with Steve Guest Newt's spokesman Radio Game Water beds Aaand we're talking cars again Pre cup holder...

Send us Fan Mail This is part two of our recording session with Mark's HS buddy, Steve.  So much natural conversation that we dang near blew through without an introduction and even omitted the Radio Game.  You're welcome. Bob Dylan fading Bruce Springsteen still gives it That time Ted Nugent babysat Steve Oregon Trail Newt's:  Because we asked nicely Life lessons from Charlie Danie...