The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   Ever catch yourself panicking when someone pulls away… overthinking every text… or feeling like no matter how much love you get, it’s never enough? If that sounds like you, this episode is MADE for you. We’re diving into attachment styles secure, anxio...

Stop letting THEIR slow replies ruin YOUR day. Take back your calm in 21 Days or less because your anxiety is about YOU, not them. ON SALE: the📱💬 TEXT ANXIETY Mini Course https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety   Gilmore Girls Attachment Style Breakdown  (Part 2): Rory & Her Relationships    Welcome back to part two of the Gilmore Girls Attachment Style Breakdown! Today we’re diving d...

✨ Are you rewatching Gilmore Girls (again 😅) and secretly analyzing every relationship? In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, I (Jula, relationship coach) break down the attachment styles of Lorelai, Luke, Christopher, and Emily through the lens of attachment theory. You’ll hear: ★ Why Lorelai shows so many signs of disorganized attachment (fearful avoidant). ★ Why Luke might not be...

my personal deep dive into Netflix’s Unknown Number: The High School Catfish. 🖤 I’ve been following the comments, the social media conversations, and the shock around Kendra Licari’s story — and I want to take this beyond what the documentary shows. Netflix gave us the facts. But what about the IMPACT? The emotional abuse. The grooming. The way a disorganized attachment style can trap someone in...

Grab the📱 ↘"He doesn't reply" Flow Chart (free): https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/flow   It only takes eight seconds… or does it? ⏰    Remember scrolling Instagram, seeing that reel, and thinking, “Why isn’t he replying? It’s just eight seconds!”   That’s exactly how anxious attachment tricks us making us chase validation, obsess over texts, and feel like every delayed reply is rejection. In t...

Remember those red flats from my 20s (that probably STILL get overthought if not addressed…)? The ones I wore on a first date, nervously texting back and overthinking every move? That was me before I started healing my anxious attachment. In this episode, I share 5 things I would NEVER do again as my securely attached self and the lessons that came from years of dating, heartbreak, and self-discov...

LISTEN BEFORE BED to Rewire your Mind in your sleep :) Struggling with relationship anxiety or anxious attachment? This gentle guided visualization helps you feel SECURE, grounded, and calm in your relationships. I’m Jula, your anxious-to-secure attachment coach, and I’ll guide you to slowly release old patterns and step into the confident, playful version of YOU. Listen when your mind is most ope...

Feeling anxious, overthinking, or unsure in your relationships? Thinking won’t help: action is the solution. This guided visualization and embodiment practice is designed to help you retrain your mind and body to create security from within. I’m Jula, your anxious-to-secure attachment coach, and I’ll guide you step by step to reconnect with the calm, confident, and grounded version of YOU that’s a...

Ever catch yourself thinking… “Did I do something wrong?” “They’re pulling away... what if they’re losing interest?” “This relationship feels OFF, but I don’t know why.”   You’re not “too much.” You’re not dramatic. You might just be stuck in cognitive distortions...sneaky thought patterns that fuel anxious attachment and make you feel unsafe in love    In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5...

This episode is for you if you’re in the breakup loops and trying to heal and move through it. You said you were DONE. You swore you wouldn’t reach out again. But now you're spiraling. Checking their last seen. Reading old messages. Feeling that sick ache in your chest like you need them back just to feel okay.   When you have anxious attachment, a breakup doesn’t feel like “losing a relationship....

Ever spiral after a text delay? Feel rejected by a vibe shift? Think “this ALWAYS happens” - even if it’s just once? That’s not you being “crazy” or “too much.” It’s your brain running on ✨anxious survival mode✨  whispering LIES it thinks will protect you 😳 In this episode, we’re calling out the 6 BIGGEST cognitive distortions your anxious brain tells you when it feels unsafe - and giving them...

“I’m not trying to control you… I’m just scared.” If you’ve ever wished your avoidant partner really understood what’s happening inside your body when they pull away… This episode is for you It’s a love letter from your anxious attachment style to the person who feels hard to reach. And maybe… You’ll want to share it with them 💌 Not to convince or fix anything - but to finally FEEL SEEN.   What’s...

You thought you had finally learned the lesson. You told your friends, “I’m DONE with emotionally unavailable people.” You even went to therapy. Bought the book. Blocked the ex. But somehow…  here you are again… F alling for someone who: ➞ Pulls away when it gets deep ➞ Says “I’m just not ready right now” ➞ Makes you feel like you're “too much” just for wanting clarity 🩹🚪 It feels like you’re da...

Have you ever felt stuck in a relationship where you're doing everything to make it work… but the more you try, the more distant they become?   Today, we’re diving into the viral anxious-avoidant trap through the lens of a very public couple: Dejon and Megan from Love Island UK 2025. Yes, the ones who:✔️ Became boyfriend and girlfriend super fast ✔️ Claimed to be the "strongest couple" ✔️ Were dum...

"Hey… it’s me. The avoidant partner you never quite understood." This episode is different 🖤 It’s a letter from Avoidant Attachment… to Anxious Attachment. To the part of you that’s been chasing, aching, spiraling not knowing why they keep pulling away 🪞 If you’ve ever felt like: ✨ “Why do they shut down when I get close?” ✨ “Why do they ghost, avoid, or seem cold especially when I need them t...

If your breakup feels like the end of the world 🌪 If your chest physically aches… If your brain knows it’s over but your body is still begging for one more text… This episode is for you 🖤 I’m walking you through 10 steps to emotionally detach from your ex - in a way that feels safe, slow, and actually doable when you're stuck in the spiral. Because detachment isn’t about going numb. It’s not abou...

Why do breakups hurt SO much more when you have an anxious attachment style? If you’ve been stuck in a breakup spiral, thinking about them 24/7, scrolling through old messages, checking their social media, and replaying every single moment in your head… you’re not alone.   But here’s the truth: if you have an anxious attachment style, heartbreak isn’t just heartbreak. It feels like withdrawal. It...

Have you ever wondered why your avoidant partner pulls away the second you get close? Why he goes quiet after a great date, or suddenly needs “space” when things feel perfect?   This episode is for YOU if you’ve ever caught yourself thinking: ✔ “What did I do wrong?” ✔ “Why does he shut down instead of talking about it?” ✔ “How do I make him stay… without feeling like I’m chasing him?” I’m breakin...

If you've ever thought...  “Why don’t I feel like a priority in my relationship?”  “Why do I spiral the moment they cancel plans or go quiet?”  “Why is my Avoidant Attached partner always me feel I don't matter..”   Then this episode is for you:   In today’s deep-dive, I break down: ✶ Why your brain + nervous system are constantly scanning for signs you don’t matter ✶ The self-fulfilling prophecy...

3-min Attachment Quiz, to KNOW your attachment with certainty: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   You’ve done everything to feel better in your relationship, right? ✅ You journal. ✅ You listen to nervous system experts. ✅ You know you're anxiously attached. ✅ You meditate, you breathe, you even go to therapy or coaching... And STILL - you feel constantly on edge 🧨 Sti...

NEW OFFER Monthly 1:1 Coaching (2x Calls a month)  https://tr.ee/PInPmy “5 Phrases I BANNED from My Vocabulary While Healing Anxious Attachment 🧠✨ (And What I Say Instead Now as a Secure Partner)”   Ever said “He makes me feel anxious” or “They NEVER show up for me”? Yep... me too 🖤   But once I started healing my anxious attachment, I realized something BIG: It wasn’t just my thoughts that wer...

Free Attachment Style Quiz: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   If you struggle with anxiety in relationships... If your emotions feel like they’re too much... If you overthink, spiral, or shut down when you're triggered... This episode is for you 🖤 You’ll learn a simple, science-backed 3-step formula to process emotions in a healthy way.. in just 90 seconds. YES, really....

Have you ever thought… “I know my partner loves me, so why do I still spiral over a delayed text?” “Why does my body feel like it’s under attack - even when nothing’s wrong?” Or why can't I feel calm when Im telling myself to calm down?   In this episode, I’m sharing something that changed the way I see my own anxiety..and my body.    The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk helped me final...

I remember one night… I was crying. Not loudly. Just quietly. Silently. And he didn’t even look up.  I didn’t need him to fix it. I just needed him to care. To ask. To hold me. To see me. But instead.. I felt invisible. Like I was too sensitive… or just not enough to be comforted. That moment? It stuck with me. Not because of what he did — but because of the old wound it reopened. If you’ve ever f...

   3min FREE Attachment Style QUIZ: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz   🖤  Attachment LIBRARY: FREE Attachment LIBRARY (worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)  https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach   🖤  1:1 Support + Courses: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach   I used to think healing anxious attachment would take YEARS. Therapy forever. Reading every...