Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

Society EN ↓ 137 episodes

Welcome to The Anxious to Secure PODCAST! 🎙️If you’re anxiously attached, want to feel empowered without CHASING your emotionally unavailable (Avoidant) partner, and are ready to FINALLY become securely attached, this show is for you. 🤍My name is Jula, and I’m a certified life coach. It took me 30 years to realize how my Anxious Attachment Style and Relationship Anxiety impacted my relationships, and just 6 months to transform into a more secure attachment style. If you want to learn all my secret strategies grab your coffee and headphones🎧 and take me for your walk. Tuesdays: I’ll be bustin...

Author

Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach

Category

Society

Latest episode

May 26, 2026

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Episodes

135: Your avoidant partner doesn’t prioritise you…UNLESS you do THIS. 26.05.2026

grab your daily anxious-to-secure rewriting protocol so you no longer freak out when he pulls away. If you don’t feel like a priority in your relationship right now, with your dismissive avoidant partner… this episode will feel like a mirror 🪞💔 Because you have communicated your needs. You’ve tried to explain. You’ve tried to get closer. And somehow… they shut down more. They pull away. They get...

134: 5 signs you’re in a toxic cycle with a dismissive avoidant partner (and how to break it) 19.05.2026

GRAB here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away! If you keep overthinking texts, chasing reassurance, and feeling stuck in a hot and cold relationship… this is for you  In this episode, Jula breaks down the 5 signs you’re stuck in an anxious attachment + dismissive avoidant toxic cycle and why it feels SO hard to leave even when you want to  You’ll understand what’s really...

133: How to break the anxious avoidant cycle (without chasing HIM)) 12.05.2026

Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away!   How to break the anxious avoidant cycle without chasing him ❤️‍🩹 In this episode, I share why anxious and avoidant couples get stuck in the same painful push and pull cycle and how YOU can finally break it without begging for reassurance, overthinking every text, or losing yourself in the relationship If your partner pull...

132: NEVER say this to an avoidant partner if you have anxious attachment (it will trigger him into shutdown)) 05.05.2026

Five things you should NEVER say to your avoidant partner  UNLESS you want to trigger him to shut down or get defensive... If you keep thinking “why is he shutting down when I just ask for the bare minimum?” this is for you  In this episode I break down the exact communication patterns that accidentally trigger defensiveness, distance, or emotional shutdown in avoidant partners. You’ll understand:...

131: Hills I will DIE on as someone who healed their anxious attachment…and become secure 28.04.2026

hills I will die on as someone who healed their anxious attachment… Ever feel like your world falls apart when your partner pulls away? ⛈️ Like you’re overthinking texts, chasing reassurance, and still feeling not enough? This episode is for you. In this raw and honest talk, I share the hills I will die on after healing my anxious attachment style and stepping into earned secure attachment 🧠💛 We...

130: you think your AVOIDANT is pulling away… but these 5 signs say he’s trying 21.04.2026

Is your avoidant partner pulling away… or actually trying?  here are CLEAR signs he IS trying (and he DOES want you.)   If you have an anxious attachment style and you're constantly overthinking your relationship, checking your phone, and wondering “does he even care?”… this episode will change how you see EVERYTHING. Because here’s the truth no one tells you: When an avoidant partner tries… it do...

129: *3 signs* your avoidant partner is becoming SECURE (even if they still pull away) 14.04.2026

Ever wondered: do avoidants even care? Does he even love me if he pulls away? If you have an anxious attachment style, this episode will hit 🧠⛈️ Because it often feels like YOU are the only one trying… while your avoidant partner shuts down, pulls away, and says nothing    But what if that “distance” is not lack of care… but a different kind of emotional growth? 👀 In this episode, I break down 3...

128: the UGLY truth why you attract avoidant people, men, friends (they mirror you!) 07.04.2026

Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away!   If you keep ending up with emotionally unavailable partners… if you feel anxious when he pulls away, overthink every text, and wonder “why does this ALWAYS happen to me?”…   this episode is going to feel a little confronting… and a lot empowering  Little warning: DON'T blame ME.. blame your PAST.   Because here’s the shift...

127: 4 STEPS: how to detach from a relationship, dismissive AVOIDANT partner from emotions, outcomes! 31.03.2026

Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away!   If attachment hasn't work - try it with DETACHMENT... :) If you’re trying to detach from your dismissive avoidant partner, stop obsessing over your relationship, and finally feel calm again… this episode is for you 🖤 Because right now? You’re not “too in love.”   You’re stuck in anxious attachment, overthinking everything...

126: why do I keep being 🧲 🚩ATTRACTED to avoidant and EMOTIONALLY unavailable men 24.03.2026

Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away!   Hands up if you have an anxious attachment and wonder… why do I keep being attracted to avoidant and emotionally unavailable men? Then this one’s for you.. …and it’s starting to feel like a pattern you can’t break 🖤✨ At first, it feels SO good. There’s chemistry. There’s excitement. There’s hope  But then… He pulls away....

125: Why Am I Still Anxious in My Relationship? Old vs New Attachment Theory Explained 17.03.2026

Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away!   Are you still feeling anxious in your relationships? Wondering why things never seem to shift, even though you “know” your attachment style? In this episode, I break down old vs. new attachment theory and show why being anxiously attached doesn’t have to be permanent. You’ll discover why awareness alone isn’t enough, how c...

124: Are all secure men gone? "there are no secure, emotionally available men" proven WRONG 10.03.2026

All good guys are taken? Think there are no secure, emotionally available men left? I’m here to show you why that’s not true… there are actually 620 MILLION single, secure men in the world 🌎 who could be a great match for you. And the key? Shifting your own attachment style makes finding them so much easier.   Attachment Library + more offers ➞  https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop...

123: 3 ways you’re accidentally keeping the Anxious–Avoidant cycle alive (And How to Break It) 03.03.2026

Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away!   If you want to heal anxious attachment and stop losing yourself in relationships, this episode is for you.   Finally, break the anxious-avoidant cycle.   Why do anxious women attract avoidant partners? Why does the relationship feel like your WHOLE world? And why does everything fall apart after the honeymoon phase?   Atta...

122: *5 Things* to stop your anxious attachment (WITHOUT changing him) 24.02.2026

If you're anxious-attached, here are ways to stop your anxious attachment!     Attachment Library + more offers ➞  https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   The Secure Woman Protocol (Workbook and 4 step daily rewiring routine)     How to stop anxious attachment. How to stop being anxious in a relationship. How to stop chasing an avoidant partner. If you feel everything intensely… If yo...

121: Understanding the Anxious-Avoidant Trap (why he pulls away when you get close) 17.02.2026

Understanding the Anxious-Avoidant Trap a huge part of my breakthrough a few years ago, just before I started becoming securely attached. Before I just could NOT understand... Why does he pull away when you try to get closer? Why does it feel like the more you love, the more distance you create? 🌪   THIS will make so much more sense when you go deeper on attachment theory.   If you’re anxiously at...

120: *7 ways* How to THRIVE with an avoidant man & make your partner OBSESSED with you 10.02.2026

Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away!   How to thrive with an avoidant man, love an avoidant partner, and stop chasing in an anxious–avoidant relationship 🖤✨ If you have an anxious attachment style and you’re in a relationship with an avoidant man, this episode will feel painfully familiar 👀 I break down the anxious–avoidant cycle in simple words and show you...

119: Avoidant attachment or 🚩Narcissist? 7 OBVIOUS signs how to tell them apart 03.02.2026

Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL to not freak out when he pulls away!   Avoidant attachment or narcissist? If you’re anxiously attached and dating someone emotionally unavailable, this question can feel impossible to answer. In this episode, I explain the difference between avoidant attachment style and narcissism, and why anxious partners so often confuse the two. Some behaviors look similar...

118: Brooklyn Beckham & wife 🚩 Nicola Peltz EXPLAINED now (attachment styles, narcissism, cutting off Family) 24.01.2026

In this episode, we break down the Brooklyn Beckham family situation through attachment theory 🧠✨ because THIS will reveal the truth, what's actually happening in the beckhams family life NOT gossip. NOT drama. NOT taking sides (well..maybe a little) let me know WHICH side you are on, TEAM Victoria or TEAM Nicola? But real PSYCHOLOGY behind love, loyalty, power, and fear of abandonment From one...

117: *26 Practical things* to heal anxious attachment & become securely attached (in 2026) 20.01.2026

If you’re still anxiously attached… If you still overthink texts  If silence feels like danger  If you’re tired of feeling “too much” or not enough  This episode is for YOU.  In this podcast, I share 26 practical, real-life things you can start doing in 2026 to finally heal anxious attachment and become SECURELY ATTACHED not just in love, but in life.  Because this work doesn’t just change your re...

116: *36 Life Lessons* Part 2 about becoming securely attached, love, relationships YOU'll need to know 13.01.2026

36 LESSONS I’VE LEARNED ABOUT LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, ATTACHMENT & SELF-WORTH 🎙✨🖤 This episode is for you if you’ve ever loved deeply… and lost yourself in the process 🫂💔   👇 RESOURCES 👇 💎 Courses ✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts ➞  https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety   💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resources Free Attachment Library ➞  https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop   If y...

115: *36 Life Lessons* about love, relationships Attachment 08.01.2026

This episode is for the version of you who feels like they’re behind in life… even though they’ve already survived so much 🫂⛈ If you’ve ever thought: ➞ “I should be married by now” ➞ “Everyone else has it figured out except me” ➞ “Why do I always overthink, attach, or care more?” ➞ “Why does love feel so hard when I try so much?” This episode will land DEEP 💎🧠✨ In Part 01, I’m sharing the firs...

114: Why affirmations can make you MORE anxious or simply don't work (for love, relationships, secure attachment)) 06.01.2026

Why do affirmations sometimes make you MORE anxious instead of calm? 🌪 Why do they feel fake… forced… or even triggering? 🧨 And why do you end up overthinking MORE after saying them? 🧠💭 If you’ve ever thought: ➞ “Affirmations don’t work for me.” ➞ “I feel worse after saying them.” ➞ “They just make me more aware of my fears.” You’re not broken 🫂 You’re not doing it wrong 🖤 Your brain is just...

113: YOUR trust issues will make HIM break your trust (Anxious-Avoidant Trust Cycle) 01.01.2026

Your Trust Issues Will Make Him Break Your Trust in your anxious-avoidant relationship Have you ever thought: “I trust my boyfriend when he’s done nothing wrong… so why am I still anxious?” “Why do I always worry my partner might leave me?” “Why do trust issues show up even in healthy relationships?”   This episode is for women with trust issues, relationship anxiety, and fear of abandonment who f...

112: Why isn't my partner saying 🗣️💖 I love you MORE (back or first) (7 truths you're missing) 30.12.2025

Have you been wondering: “Why isn’t my partner saying ‘I love you’ more?” Or maybe it’s more like: Why does my boyfriend not say “I love you” first? Why does my husband not say “I love you” back sometimes? Why does he just say “love you” or “me too” instead of the words I need? 🌪   7 Truths you’re MISSING about love, words, and attachment Hey love… if your chest tightens when he says “love you” in...

111:*10 truths* about men I wish I KNEW SOONER when I was insecure (part 2) 25.12.2025

10 Hard Truths to STOP Chasing (Anxious Attachment & Dating Advice) If you’re an anxiously attached woman who keeps overthinking texts, overgiving in dating, and chasing emotionally unavailable men, this episode is for you 🖤✨ This is what I wish I knew in my 20s about men and relationships  before I burned myself out trying to be chosen, trying to be “easy to love,” and trying to make men st...

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