That Checks Out

The guys discuss how it’s just proper etiquette (and an excellent fighting strategy) to apologize prior to punching your wife in the knees and taking her sack of rocks, when being a whore can save you a trip to the grocery store, and why choosing the correct bathing suit is imperative when pulling 9Gs to keep all your teeth.

The guys discuss how garlic butter without mushrooms is not enough to justify homicide, why it’s necessary for goat costumes to be made of Kevlar during outdoor sexy time, and when Damon’s face nestled securely in your bosom is the key to safe travel. 

The guys discuss how whale milk can lead to a beautiful smile, when impersonating a ghost only delays the rescue mission, and why Damon believes voluntarily remaining poor the rest of his life is in his breast interest. 

This is an episode of enlightenment for the guys as Ted discovers he’s going to be a father again, Damon discovers previously unexplored visual equipment,  and Mac discovers Chuck AND Zack are indeed the very same person. 

The discuss how long is “too long” to leave your baby unattended in a gas station freezer, when your van’s paint job is totally irrelevant once the mattress is both greasy AND wet, and why a Chinese person apparently wouldn’t name their fish Todd. 

The guys discuss why it’s always best to survey the husband after vacations to avoid negative feedback, how giving your heart is no longer the absolute best way to show your commitment to a relationship, and where you can take Damon for an entire weekend to roam amongst the people completely unfiltered. 

The guys discuss what is quite possibly the best way to compliment strangers at the beach, how Belgian sand is apparently so much easier on flip flops, and why Damon believes the internet consists only of emails from his wife. 

The guys discuss why a single Danish covered in cinnamon isn’t always necessarily delicious, how an adolescent chimney sweep can commandeer royal undies, and when a “take home” squad car is a prerequisite for employment. 

The guys discuss why you’ll never see an orangutan cashing his paycheck, how lanyard usage actually defines your very existence, and when the cleanliness of a wall cleaned by a one gloved individual assures you’ll be having the lasagna. 

The guys discuss why it’s extremely dangerous to have a mole on your face in an Amsterdam airport, when helping to keep someone’s tortoise dry can be very lucrative, and how catastrophic it is to be mildly deaf with a lack of friends at an air show. 

The guys discuss how military grade clean sidewalks could be banned in this country at any time, how it only took 7” for an Indian man to capture a world record, and why towing cars and preventing stab wounds to the groin are most important when choosing the proper pants.

The guys discuss how office buildings in Norway have posted speed limits in the hallways, when spending $1,000,000 on a property still won’t get you a basement, and why a $400 loophole is guaranteed to destroy your German “warehouse”. 

The guys discuss why a third comma is necessary to summon a genie, when a total disregard for your chestnuts can lead to championships, and how a magical pill can make chili night more romantic. 

The guys discuss why an uncut whopper with mayo can get you arrested, when a $12 an hour career change means you’ll never be far from the beach, and how  it’s entirely possible to fight an entire war on your lunch break. 

The guys discuss why an unverified “Code 3” will get a hero banned from retail establishments, what the two most essential items to keep fresh in Tupperware are to properly welcome home a soldier from war, and when sleeping with the warden’s sister while coaching kids soccer can’t prevent a collect call from “My Bad”. 

The guys discuss how and uncomfortable doctor undoubtedly ruined medicine for generations to come, when being sarcastically honest on a job application can super-size your career, and why an aggressive goldfish named Larry might never be found. 

The guys discuss when extensive eye contact can destroy an entire restaurant, why it is imperative to list your address and full daily itinerary when attempting to find your lost  house keys, and how 260 miles of tandem nudity is worth approximately $6,000.00 worth of self confidence. 

The guys discuss why it’s so important to order your wedding album in paperback, how it’s not insulting to guess a woman’s age if you use a 20 year window, and when it’s necessary to specify what is NOT to be your eternal nickname before you die in a hole. 

The guys discuss how autocorrect can totally impede an entire canine search party, why a bedazzled butter dish will totally clash with your leftover soufflé, and when a four egg omelette can cost a whopping $10,000. 

The guys discuss how to Target the right sultry stuffed snowman for good time, why having one kidney and limited vacation days always results in a career change, and when ONE strike, ZERO balls, and well manicured neck beard makes you royalty.

The guys discuss why it's so important to hide your laughter when strange toddlers get injured, how landscapers cannot be held accountable to mow while they’re mourning, and when you cannot find an old person in a room full of 48 year old people. 

The guys discuss when a notary is necessary to buy booze, why it’s plausible to get robbed by 3 out of every 4 people while on a spiritual retreat, and how Damon believes he could be the “king of the jungle” if given a fair fight. 

The guys discuss exactly what is the best invention to keep your apples and frying pans from falling under your couch,  how French business students can quench your thirst and yet still leave you sticky, and why a 2014 Hyundai Genesis guarantees you both a good time and a settlement. 

The guys discuss how most panda cubs can be both discarded and delicious, when the child delivering a brand new moonstone rock to your door is not covered by the $4.00 purchase protection, and why it’s imperative that you take your bike with you to the top of Mt. Everest so you don’t have to walk back home to Sweden. 

The guys discuss how to measure the bookcase-to-beer ratio properly while bartering, when porch pirating a big screen tv results in extreme frustration and disappointment unless you’re into cardio, and how the magic of four wheel drive has enabled the disabled to enjoy majestic views.