Tell Me About Your Mother

Evan and Melissa explore how intellectualizing stories serves as a protective distancing from emotional exploration, expression, and healing. Implicit memory healing Bilateral stimulation  CBT often ineffective for treating  Bottom up approach to client care versus top down approach  Emotional-relational realm being the healing quality of therapy  Send us Fan Mail Support the show Have any questio...

Evan and Melissa explore the ways in which clients use intellectualism as a means to conceptualize emotional memories to maintain safety. Topics also include:  Emotional attainment Maintaining an observer role when someone is dysregulated Maladaptive ways of creating self-protection Therapy is not advice-giving Explore emotional memories is delicate and is a process Send us Fan Mail Support the sh...

Evan, Melissa, and Eli share their experiences with client attunement and the ways in which such connection can promote a deep sense of understanding and meaning. Emotional attunement with clients informing unconventional approaches  Eli sifts through his  transcription grad school notes from 1913 Emotional attunement compared to flocks of birds and musicians Intuition informing therapeutic path S...

Evan, Melissa, and Eli process Evan's recent experience being harassed by the police. Topics also include: Profiling Crime and punishment ideology Life-long record keeping  Escalation before de-escalation Cop incompetence Send us Fan Mail Support the show Have any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run

Evan and Eli meet in video form for the first time-- available on Youtube! They use this hour to explore themes of: Conversion Therapy Emotional Residue from clients Counter-transferrence  Send us Fan Mail Support the show Have any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run

Parentified child impact in romantic relationships  Cultural differences fueling assumptions in friendship  DOS OS  How the dating sphere has changed with technology  You watched too many Disney movies  Culture of immediacy impeded on natural romantic development  The romantic spark is bullshit Dopamine dating  Are we marketing authenticity? Compatibility is found through mutual authentic marketin...

Evan and Eli join for another episode to explore how therapists can unintentionally assume understanding of clients' stories based on personal bias. They then explore the evolution of porn and its possible future implications on sexuality, dating, and identity. Only fans  AI becoming a sexual sphere  Sex dolls Specifically identifying the core  When we feel stuck  Men being “too nice” ripple...

Evan, Meliisa, and Eli explore the a case that Melissa is processing.  A great resource from Dr. Nicole LePera helps us get started Parentified child case study  How are crises adaptive systemically? Reenactment between parent, peers, and therapist Caretaking to avoid self care Emphasizing choice with client archetypes that exhibit signs of learned helplessness "Mom anchors"-- a client&a...

Evan, Melissa, and Eli discuss the intention of the podcast and ways to become more intentional in our discussions.  Melissa is our podcast mommy Incorporating the interpersonal supervision model into our conversations Chasing trends creates pop psychology and misinformation  The power of Free Association Send us Fan Mail Support the show Have any questions or insights about this episode? Reach ou...

Evan and Eli practice behaving without Melissa being present for this episode.  What’s worth investigating with a client? Salem witch trials  Eli wants to try Ayahuasca   Being attracted to clients  Therapeutic flow state is healing  Ego blockading energy connections with nature and people  Spirituality in nature  Eli shares his "firecracker puppy" metaphor Send us Fan Mail Support the s...

Politically correct culture influencing dialogue in therapy Questions can evoke shame Moving with clients’ awareness When self-disclosure is therapeutic  Where are his balls? Treating infidelity Story revisions Fear memories have more salient reinforcements Having therapeutic relationships that span years  Send us Fan Mail Support the show Have any questions or insights about this episode? Reach o...

Melissa rejoins Evan and Eli. They quickly realize that Melissa is the mother of the group and helps "police" the episode content. This realization prompted Evan and Eli to explore the origins of foreskin shots. What are foreskin shots? Clients exposed to clinical media and come to therapy with inaccurate self-diagnoses  Incels on dating apps  Men, stop taking people to pound town all th...

Evan and Eli are one-on-one for this episode. Within minutes they realize that Melissa represents a shadow mother figure in the podcast dynamic and that her absence allows for more dick jokes. Discussing the phallic qualities of their mic stands provides a bridge to a slightly more serious conversation:  “Sounding gay” Southern sayings  Family therapy  Intervening in a family system  Garden gnome...

subtle minimization in childhood Using Lysol to kill monsters Somatic experience informs Physicians are not mental health professionals Bypassing intellectual blocking by processing clients’ somatic experiences Dangers of pop psychology using incorrect language that impacts clients’ self perceptions Stop using manic episode incorrectly  Making past-present connections  Sometimes effective therapy...

Evan and Eli support Melissa and process her gut reaction to clients’ stories, exploring her own counter-transference. This episode also includes topics of: Using cuss words when you pray  Affairs don’t happen in a vacuum  Counter transference informing therapeutic process  Negative core belief of defective shame  Blowing away bullshit to find authentic self Trauma responses- filing into longterm...

Reenactment affecting client retention Yawning in trauma-focused therapy Infantilizing do alleviate parents’ anxiety  Don’t be a dick Viewing identity as a developmental sprectrum Extreme political views reenacting childhood trauma  What’s going on with trucks with flags? Ideology being substituted for identity  Emotional portals to visit attachment ruptures AIP  Emotional touchstone creating memo...

Eli, Evan, and Melissa take a forensic look at reaction formation, emblem leakage, and cognitive dissonance within Bill Cosby’s career and criminal case and the cost of “winners and losers” within the legal and two-party payer healthcare systems.  What do we need to be more honest with ourselves and others?  What would it take to be more open to criticism and self-reflection and make peace with pe...

In this episode, Evan shares his experience with a virtual family client. Evan, Eli, and Melissa reflect upon how the family system creates unwanted feelings and responses from all involved and that common lack of emotional trust in families. Please join us as we navigate interpersonal communication by also contemplating: Inviting families to go beyond the "presenting problem" Families p...

When therapists meet themselves in session Counter transference implications  Can defiance be a form of play? Conceptualizing child behavior as a mode of communication  Eli compares school expulsion as a railroad car on prison pipeline What is a "Fawning" trauma response?  How do secure attachments grieve romantic losses? Evan's grippy sock vacation  Send us Fan Mail Support the sho...

In this episode Evan Miller welcomes guests! Daniel Rhodes has a wide range of professional experience ranging from Counselor, Clinical Director, and now a Utilization Review Specialist. Evan and Daniel have been in long-term recovery together for over a decade and in this episode they explore their experiences and relational perspectives.  Cocaine vs. Surfing The magic bullet of fun in recovery E...

Intellectual Scaffolding …prepare for processing emotion “in-the-now” or “numb”…is client re-experiencing & processing events or casually reciting their story? What is client trying to do for me; convince me, win my validation? Client story as “photo negative” . . . needs hidden in darkness and highlighting others’ wishes & wants Intellectual & emotional hoarding . . . hoarded worthles...

Evan, Melissa, and Eli explore how assuming a clients' needs may negatively impact their growth within therapy. Topics also explored regard:  Mental health professionals are underpaid  How private practice marketing draws clients that a culturally similar  Community-based planning compared to counseling agendas  Presenting problem, adaptations, and what skill is needed to combat Getting caugh...

Using their usual style of humorous narrative, Melissa, Evan, and Eli extemporaneously delve into their professional experience with parallel process as clinical supervisors.  What is parallel process?  Briefly, parallel process is rooted in the psychoanalytic concepts of transference and countertransference where supervisees inadvertently recreate the issues, thoughts, and feelings they experienc...

In this episode, Eli shares his experience with speaking to a Christian congregation about sexuality.  Evan, Eli, and Melissa reflect upon how psychotherapists can encourage couples to communicate their sexual desires by first accepting their own sexuality.  Please join us as we navigate interpersonal communication by also contemplating: How can we help others to understand their sexuality if we c...

Evan, Melissa, and Eli explore the way in which attachment styles impact peoples’ messages, perceived messages, and counselors’ countertransference. This conversation also generated discussions related to: Counselor’s response to a client with anxious/avoidant attachment style Importance of a counselor’s self-awareness When is “avoidant” a healthy, optimal response within a relationship? Wounded B...