Tell Me About Your Mother

We started with accountant rage. We ended at grief, the body, and a grandmother who was home. Melissa walks Evan through his first focusing session using the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model — Gene Gendlin's somatic framework for making meaning of what your body is already trying to tell you. What starts as frustration about cash flow lands somewhere much deeper. Then the conversation shifts to whe...

Evan sits down with Rhiana Holmes Turner for a sharp, honest conversation about therapist burnout, private practice, money, ADHD, recovery, and the culture of over-sacrifice in mental health. They talk about brain drain, disaster psychology, community mental health, performative social justice, and why helping people does not mean destroying yourself in the process. brain drain, disaster psycholog...

In this episode, we unpack one of the most misunderstood dynamics in therapy: masking. We start with the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model and how somatic work helps clients notice real shifts in their nervous system. Then we get into what therapists often miss — clients who look “fine” in session but are shutting down outside the room. We cover: Why clients mask in therapy (often without realizing it) H...

Guest Elizabeth Morrison is a licensed therapist, MS, LPC, in Texas, that specializes in treating Neurodivergent individuals. We talk through what’s happening as mental health language goes mainstream: it’s helping more people seek support, but it’s also creating confusion, oversimplification, and “pop psychology” that gets repeated as fact. We unpack what neurodivergence and neurodivergent actual...

Welcome back our guest Sandra Killebrew, a therapist specializing in high-conflict couples therapy in Seattle, WA. This episode dives into the messy, magical work of being a therapist. We unpack what happens when clients come in with chaos—blame throwers in hand—and how playfulness, props, and presence can shift the energy in the room. From adolescent therapy and couples work to private pay dilemm...

Welcome our guest, Rhiana Holmes Turner, LPC, LAC, is a licensed mental health professional and Approved Clinical Supervisor based in Denver, Colorado, with multi-state licensure across Colorado, Florida, Texas, and Kansas. She has expertise in trauma-informed, care and a career spanning community advocacy, international mental health work, and psychopharmacology education, Turner brings a unique...

In this raw and wide-ranging episode of Tell Me About Your Mother , Evan and Melissa explore what it means to be a therapist, parent, and human being—flawed, opinionated, and under pressure to perform. From setting boundaries on the soccer field to navigating adolescent risk-taking and drug use, the conversation covers the deep discomfort of losing control, the power of regulation, and the dangers...

In this fiery and insightful episode of Tell Me About Your Mother : Evan and Melissa respond to the backlash after their viral EMDR TikTok clip (24k+ views). They clarify what EMDR is actually doing in the brain—hint: it’s not magic or hypnosis. The hosts tackle common misunderstandings about working memory theory , bilateral stimulation , and exposure therapy . Evan shares a powerful campfire sto...

In this episode, we dive into a fresh look at EMDR therapy and how new research reframes it as “working memory therapy.” We explore the cultural differences in how trauma and sexuality are discussed in clinical training, the challenges of certification in our field, and the ways client conversations about sex, cursing, and honesty become litmus tests for therapeutic trust. Along the way, we swap s...

Sandra Killebrew is a high-conflict couple therapist with a boutique private practice in Tacoma, WA. She offers therapy intensives for couples in addition to weekly therapy. She likes to get on her soapbox about excellence in therapy, boundaries, telling the truth, even when it hurts, and is not afraid to say fuck. She hosts networking groups in Tacoma & Seattle and is on the board of the Inte...

Evan shares a personal story from a therapy group where power and bias were misused How therapists can be abusive — even to other therapists The danger of bringing personal values, beliefs, or shame agendas into the therapy room Why opacity (not transparency) can be safer and more ethical for clients Reader bias and how it distorts perception in clinical work The myth of sexuality as a binary on/o...

Evan and Melissa do a brief review of the Netflix show "Adolescence," mostly focusing on the third episode and the intervention strategies of the Forensic Psychologist.  Foresensic Psychologist began with rapport building and quickly shifted to a more authoritarian/contrarian relational tone Melissa, wha are poop puppets?  Truth seeking is not rapport building or important Forensic Psych...

The Gloria videos (therapy session videos from the 1960s) Working with the adult self Psychogenic seizures We are NOT neurologists  Social contagions  Conversion disorder  Wim Hoff breathing Clients finding stability and discontinuing therapy prior to deep change  Co-regulation  Podcast mentions: "Hysteria" and "Harvey Speaks." Send us Fan Mail Support the show Have any questio...

Just because you can ask a pointed question doesn’t mean you should The analogy of an attic with boxes representing emotional memories to categorize minimized, avoided, or displaced memories The need to "sell" therapy to clients who are in the precontemplative stage of change Client dissociation in session   Suppressed rage can exacerbate back pain  Your marital conflicts are not ACTUALL...

Melissa and Evan share their past experiences with unspoken agreements in relationships  Passing off anxieties to partner to resolve insecurities  Finances are a common reason for divorce Unspoken agreements utilized in an attempt to resolve attachment trauma Fawning to prevent from abandonment, maladaptive self-preservation  Mind reading  We need to deal in realities, not “shoulds” Send us Fan Ma...

"Christian Counseling" directly opposes the ACA Code of Ethics Counselors' political biases creating division with clients The new-age drama of "right and wrong think" Therapists should not be truth-seekers The importance of sitting with clients that have different ideologies Melissa shares about her love of Ricky Martin Why is the counseling profession becoming a banner f...

Faulty torture tactics in the Iraq war Carl Jung's Devouring Mother Archtype Barriers when applying boundaries to parents Parents of children with addiction feel a sense of closeness in crisis  Internal conflicts that occur when experiencing incongruence Send us Fan Mail Support the show Have any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run

Please reach out via email or social media if you'd like to participate in our FREE wellness audit where we take a brief snapshot of your presenting problems and offer insight into establishing possible new strategies of engaging with self and others. Wellness Audit Transference begins even in the initial consultation with a client Operating from “control pattern" Ineffectiveness of sole...

Evan and Melissa explore how clients have been their greatest teachers. Topics also include: Negative attribution styles  Evan and Melissa discuss what they view as their greatest accomplish with a client  Sexual trauma response of eliciting “testing behaviors” to possible aggressors  The power of entertaining the clients presenting problem Exploring with the client: What are we contracting to do?...

Evan and Melissa discuss the nature of recovering from codependency, its benefits, and challenges. Finding recovery from codependency or other mental health struggles  CODA a 12-step recovery program for people recovering from Codependency Recovery is not an arrival  Complications of personal growth journey The risk of outgrowing relationships  Stages of change  Send us Fan Mail Support the show H...

Evan and Melissa discuss the vagus nerve and its implications in emotional regulation and treatment. 3 stages of polyvagal theory Technology outrunning our limbic systems evolution Anxiety tension and fear are attempts to intellectualize feeling  Feeling avoidance compared to a nicotine craving Neurolinguistic programming  Melissa also is gracious enough to offer her charts to any of our TMAYM sup...

Evan and Melissa explore the often deductive and maladaptive conceptualizations pop psychology shares on social media and its negative consequences.  We plan to make this a series since there's a lot of material to cover. This episode focuses on social media reels that are giving advice as to what types of texts to send to your partner that has an anxious attachment style. Send us Fan Mail Su...

Evan and Jamie Kay meet and discuss the healing, reflective, and connecting elements of songwriting with the writer and its audiences. Jamie has written over 300 songs in the course of his 50 years of songwriting. He's a gifted storyteller whose sincerity penetrates throughout our conversation. We're happy to share his energy with our listeners! Send us Fan Mail Support the show Have any...

Evan and Melissa discuss clients' perspectives that therapists have super powers, how being seen in a raw, deep, meaningful way can at times feel like voodoo magic.  Send us Fan Mail Support the show Have any questions or insights about this episode? Reach out to us at contactus@tellmeaboutyourmother.run

Evan and Melissa answer an audience question regarding intellectual defenses in session. "How do I get my therapist to become aware that I am using my intellect to deflect from emotional vulnerability in our sessions?"  We are hoping to incorporate this type of interaction with followers more often. If you have any questions about therapy, please don't hesitate to reach out! Send us...