Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

Q: Today, we're answering a question from a listener who asks how we can maintain friendships as an adult. In this episode, we will be discussing some helpful tips on how to navigate the challenges of friendships during this season of our lives, and ways to foster healthier relationships with our friends. We are joined by Jennifer Hinkle-Stanley, MS MHP, one of the counselors at the Debra Fileta C...

Q: Today, we're answering a question from a listener who says she comes from a dysfunctional family. They ask, can you have a healthy family despite coming from a dysfunctional one? We'll discover that answer in today's episode of our podcast series "Ask a Counselor". Our special guest is Bri Franklin, M.A., LMHC, one of the amazing counselors at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. Bri will leave...

Is it possible to enjoy singleness, all while really wanting marriage? Today's caller wants to know the answer to that question. How can you strike a balance between enjoying what you're experiencing today in singleness, yet still hold on to the desire for marriage without letting in control your life? Is it possible to enjoy singleness AND want marriage simultaneously? Enjoying Singleness We're t...

How do you pray for love? And what if you don't even have one yet? Should you still pray for love even before you have a relationship?  If I knew the effect that my future relationships would have on my life, I would have been praying for love since pre-school. Prayer is the act by which we hand over our needs to the One who actually has the power to impact those needs.  So how do you pray for lov...

"Guard your heart".  That's pretty much sums up the relationship advice you get when you ask someone within the Christian culture for dating advice. But what does it mean to guard your heart, and how do you guard your heart without appearing too guarded? How To Guard Your Heart Guarding your heart really comes down to protecting your heart...because your heart is the most important part of who you...

Have you ever found yourself attracted to a non Christian? Someone who is living out a different belief system, or isn't spiritually in tune with where you're at with your faith? What do you do when you find yourself drawn to someone with whom you are spiritually out of sync? How much does faith matter in the context of a healthy relationship? Attracted To a Non Christian Today's episode answers a...

What does it look like to pursue biblical dating? You might be surprised to know.  Being a Christian who also happens to be a Licensed Professional Counselor, I'm often asked to speak about the topic of biblical dating. How does a person date in a biblical way?  What does the bible actually say about dating? How can a Christian manage the world of dating with a God-honoring perspective? Which conc...

What do you do when you find yourself single in your 30s - your mid 30s, in fact - with no prospect of love in sight? "I never imagined I'd be single in my 30s".  Today's caller is looking for some encouragement and trying to assess whether or not she should continue to hold on to hope when she finds herself single at an age she never imagined.  I'm not gonna lie, there are so many times when our...

Heart break doesn't have to be the norm...if you know what to avoid, that is. In this episode of the LOVE + RELATIONSHIPS PODCAST, we turn the tables on Tuesday's popular episode, 10 Guys You Shouldn't Date by introducing you to the 10 Women You Shouldn't Date. Avoiding Heart Break These 10 ladies will string you on...drag you down...and break your heart. But it doesn't have to be that way, becaus...

Q: Hey Debra! I have a pattern of dating the bad boys. How do I recognize the type of guy I should date, from the type of guy I shouldn't date? When it comes to dating relationships, there is definitely such a thing as red flags in a relationship. The problem is, depending on our level of health and awareness - we can often either ignore the red flags or make excuses for them all together. The rea...

Does God want me to be single forever? How do I know whether or not I have the "gift" of singleness? How do I hold on to hope when the future seems so unknown and so unclear? So many people are struggling with these questions as they look ahead at an unknown future and wonder whether or not God has marriage in their horizon. Am I Going To Be Single Forever? There are so many things in life where w...

Do you feel like you're struggling with singleness? I know that the struggle can be heightened during this season of life, especially with all that's going on in the nation in light of Covid 19. Social distancing, quarantine, sheltering in place can make you feel even more lonely and disconnected than ever before.  But struggling with singleness does not make you strange, or crazy, or lacking in f...

Can a woman make the first move in a relationship?  This is a question that's always on my radar, because I know it's going to come in about every single Q&A session I have - and let's be honest, it's a rather controversial topic. Truth be told, the answer to this question has changed over the years with the changing of culture and opinions and norms. But it's a topic that's holding a lot of women...

You don't have to like being single. Yes, even you, Christian person. It's okay to struggle with being single! It really is. I'm giving you - reading this post - permission to go ahead and feel those feelings. And in this episode, I'm going to tell you exactly why. On this episode of the Love + Relationships Podcast, I'm talking to a young woman who is struggling with singleness. She's just not fe...

Today we're talking toxic relationships both in dating and in marriage. Q: When it comes to general relationships, how do you know when a relationship is worth working on, and how do you know when it's time to walk away?  A: When it is time to walk away from an unhealthy relationship? That's a question we're diving in to today. Christians tend to really struggle with the idea of walking away from...

Q: We're struggling through the reality check of marriage. It's not always as easy as we imagined it to be. Do you have any tips or advice for us? I often talk about the differences between our expectations of marriage , vs. the reality of what marriage.  But today, I'm excited to tag team this question about the reality check of marriage with my friends Jeremy and Addie Camp. Jeremy Camp and Addi...

Have you ever been through a hard time in your life where you thought to yourself, "This is not what I wanted my life to look like. This is NOT what I expected."  What happens when life doesn't turn out how you planned? How do you navigate those hard times of hopelessness and discouragement, when you feel stuck in a life that you never expected.  Maybe your hard time is that you just went through...

Q: "Hey Debra, I'd love to hear your thoughts about if and how birth order impacts a relationship".  A: Are you the oldest child, middle child, or the baby of your family? Believe it or not, how you answer that question will actually have a significant impact on the type of person you turn out to be - as well as how you do relationships. Your birth order can have a significant impact on your love...

When you think about communication in marriage, what comes to mind? When I was gathering data for my book, Choosing Marriage, I asked singles to tell me how much time they thought married couples spend in quality communication each week. Then, I surveyed married couples asking them how much time they spend in quality communication each week...and the different answers that came in were almost laug...

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it's your negative thinking that's keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you're struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe it's your...

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing. Maybe it's your negative thinking that's keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you're struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe you're stuc...

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it's your negative thinking that's keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you're struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe you're stu...

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it's your negative thinking that's keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you're struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe it's your...

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it's your negative thinking that's keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you're struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe you're stu...

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it's your negative thinking that's keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you're struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe it's your...