Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

It’s time for Summer Lovin’! I’m so excited for the conversations we’ll be having over the next few months with both singles and married couples about the realities of navigating relationships well. Today begins our Singles Series where I’ll be introducing you to a few Christian singles! Today I am talking to Pedro from Colorado, who is trying to navigate dating in a way that honors Christ. In thi...

Exhaustion. Fatigue. Lack of Motivation. Apathy. Overwhelm. How do you know if you’re burnt out – or if you’re just dealing with hormones? Because we know that sometimes the two can feel like the same thing! Today I’m joined by Gina, who is calling in to process whether she’s burnt out from a demanding career in full time ministry over many years without a break, or because she’s in the middle of...

What do you do when you’re in a relationship with parents – who don’t seem to be interested in a relationship with you? What do you do if they seem avoidant, distant, or uninterested? Do you continue to engage and interact, or do you back away? Today on Talk To Me, I’m joined by Debra from Canada who is wondering how to best navigate a relationship with parents that comes with pain, hurt, disappoi...

What do you do when you’re in the middle of a season of transition – but you have no idea what’s coming up next? When you feel like you’re in the middle of point A and point B, in the middle of the waiting, the unknown? What are some tangible things we can put into place in a season of transition, to keep ourselves from doubting and from fear? Today on the show, Ross calls in to Talk To Me about t...

Where is God in the middle of our pain and brokenness? Where is God in our trauma and tragedy? That’s a real question that Jermaine Wilson had to face as a young man in his 20s – facing years in prison, and months in complete isolation. Jermaine’s avoidance of his pain, led him down a life of more pain – facing prison at the age of 15. He spent over seven years in prison, much of that in complete...

Today on the show I’m joined by Angie, who’s greiving the fact that her adult daughter went “no contact” recently, withdrawing from family activities and isolating her daughter from seeing her grandma. Angie is grieving both the loss of her relationship with her daughter as well as her granddaughter, and wondering if there is anything she can do to move toward reconciliation and connection. I talk...

Today on the show I’m joined by Melissa who is calling in to get help dealing with her anger issues. She’s noticing that her anger outbursts are getting less controlled, and has noticed losing her temper in the car as well as in public – at the bank, for example. She’s not sure where these patterns of anger have come from, and she feels like she’s tried everything to try and break free from her an...

Sensitive Content Disclaimer: The following conversation includes sensitive information, covering themes of abuse. Today on the show I am joined by my friend Tim Ross for an on-air counseling session as we process the concept of vulnerability in relationships. What does it mean to be vulnerable? I guide him through the analogy of seeing vulnerability like a pool – equipped with both a shallow end...

Today on the show I am joined by Kirby Kelly for an on-air counseling session, as we process her past trauma of growing up with alcoholic parents. In this emotional conversation, Kirby opens up specifically about her complex relationship with her mother, who continued to relapse into addiction to alcohol until she passed away unexpectedly in 2023. Kirby is now expecting her first baby girl, and a...

Today I have an on-air session with Christian Bevere, as we processed some of the mistakes she made during her dating days, including dating from places of insecurity, as well as the unrealistic expectations she placed on what dating was “supposed to” look like or feel like in that season of life. We then talk through how unrealistic expectations continue to play out, if we’re not careful, even in...

The stress of the sandwich generation is real, but extremely underestimated. People don’t talk about it enough. How do you navigate the burdens and blessings of caring for young children, as well as caring for your aging parents…all at once? How do you navigate that stress while you’re also trying to run a household, keep a marriage intact, provide for your family, keep your job, and manage your m...

Today’s caller, Ron from California, is wondering what to do about cell phone addiction, especially as it relates to your marriage and relationships. How do you handle the issue of cell phone addiction before it has a negative impact on a marriage? What are some practical ways you can bring this area to the attention of your spouse, or other loved ones who struggle with being on their phone too mu...

What do you do when a long-term friendship suddenly comes to an end? How do you deal with the pain of rejection, misunderstanding, and even abandonment in close relationships — especially when you didn’t see it coming. Today on the podcast, Pastor and Author Alex Seeley opens up about a recent rupture of a close friendship that left her feeling misunderstood and abandoned. In our on-air session, w...

What happens when you don’t fit into the social norms? What happens when the social skills that are “supposed to” feel “easy”, feel like an incredibly difficult challenge? This is a glimpse of what it’s like to live with neurodivergence, and a diagnosis that impacts your social skills, such as ADHD or Autism. Today on the show Kendall Mariah, Instagram influencer and content creator, opens up to m...

Today I’m joined by my friend and co-author of one of my books, Gary Thomas. He’s opening up about many different times in his life when he’s either felt misunderstood, slandered, or dealt with toxic interactions (some even from childhood) – and how he’s learned to respond as a person who typically leans toward peace and repair. We talk about how to set proper boundaries in relationships with diff...

What do you do when you keep hitting a wall trying to go deeper in friendship? Today, I’m joined by Nicole who is feeling hurt by the cycle of trying to go deeper with friends, but finding herself at a dead end. She’s feeling discouraged and wondering if it’s even possible to connect with people on the level that she’s desiring for friendship. I challenge her to dig deeper into some of her persona...

Today on the show, Kevin calls in to talk to me about dealing with church hurt and trauma. He’s a licensed counselor himself, and finds himself counseling people through church trauma issues on a regular basis. He wants to know how to best serve those who are struggling with this kind of trauma. He’s worked through his personal journey of church trauma, but as a counselor at a local church, he wan...

Rachel calls in to the hotline today to Talk To Me about her struggles with feeling secure standing alone. After the loss of her husband, she realized she’d never really dealt with abandonment wounds from the past, and is having a really hard time feeling secure in her singleness. How can a person begin to develop that confidence, and even enjoy being alone? Is it wrong to have a desire for a rela...

Can friendship bring up old wounds? Today Royneka calls in to the hotline to chat about a friendship that seems to be triggering her. How can she tell if the triggers mean she should step away from this friendship, or if the triggers are revealing something in her that needs to be healed? We unpack friendship triggers, how to deal with them, and when to confront them or step away. Knowing your tri...

Today I’m joined by Michelle, who has been on a journey of saying no to passivity. Being the oldest child in the family, she has had a tendency to become more accommodating than she should. This pattern has followed her into her adulthood and developed into passivity. We talk about 3 important mindset shifts that have to happen in order to see assertiveness as the best way to take care of yourself...

We are so excited to celebrate the official launch of my new book People Skills today! People Skills offers 31 transformational social skills that will strengthen your interpersonal relationships, increase your influence, and help you create meaningful interactions. Rooted in Scripture and informed by science and psychology, this roadmap offers practical lessons on empathy, clear communication, li...

Will called in to Talk To Me about his journey through deep betrayal by his best friend – someone he never imagined would hurt him. How do you walk through this kind of betrayal, when you’ve been completely blindsided? Today, we talk through his story of pain and friendship betrayal, and the number one thing that helped him move into healing: forgiveness. Forgiveness is an important people skill,...

In one of the most vulnerable conversations of the year, I sat down with Pastor Shawn Johnson and processed the moment that literally almost took his life -- the moment he broke mentally and emotionally. After suffering from intense and continuous panic attacks behind the scenes for many years, one day he could take it no more. Thank God he chose vulnerability in that dark and desperate moment, an...

What do you do when your people pleasing tendencies continue to come up again and again? How do you navigate the desire to please people, but ultimately continue to strive to please God? Today, I talk to Judah Smith about his tendencies to care too much about what people think, and the self-serving, self-protecting, selfish nature behind being a person who cares too much about what people think. W...

It's hard enough to deal with feeling offended by people, but what do you do when you feel offended by God? In this on-air session with Alexandra Hoover, we talk about healthy vs. unhealthy ways to handle offense from people who hurt us deeply, and then we move into healthy ways to deal with feeling offended by God. We talk about important mindset shifts that need to happen, in order for us to be...