Stuck Not Broken

Prompted by a question about parenting from a listener.  Turned into an interesting question about self care - what it is and what it isn't.  Does it have to be alone?  Does it have to be without your kids present? More Polyvagal Podcast for $5 Members - justinlmft.com/members   Mentioned in this episode: Naming Your Stuckness Not sure which stuck state you're in? That's normal, and more common th...

Protection is something we settle for.  Safety is something we deserve.  And more!  Open Letters / Stack 1 - https://www.justinlmft.com/openletters Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats Mentioned in this episode: Naming Your Stuckness Not sure which stuck state you're in? That's normal, and more common than you'd think. I made a free page that lay...

In episode 15, Dr Porges himself differentiated between empathy and compassion.  We've mentioned this numerous times since then.  We examine the difference between the two in this episode. More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Polyvagal Podcast merchandise - https://society6.com/justinlmft Recommended reading - https://www.justinlmft.com/books Intro/Outro mu...

An audio clip originally from an Instagram Live we did.  Join us every Sunday at 915pm PST on Instagram Live! Download the Polyvagal Ladder guide here - https://www.justinlmft.com/fileshare There is also MORE Polyvagal Podcast content for $5 Members - justinlmft.com/members   Mentioned in this episode: Naming Your Stuckness Not sure which stuck state you're in? That's normal, and more common than...

We've mentioned the difference between curiosity and evaluation a few times on the podcast before.  In this episode, we drill down further than ever in search of a deeper understanding.  Mercedes opens with curiosity and Justin closed with evaluation. More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Polyvagal Podcast merchandise - https://society6.com/justinlmft Recomm...

Part 2 of my chat with Irene Lyon! IRENE Website - https://irenelyon.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/irenelyon/ YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBkXgr0E9ZWUg4iSDEUKqVA Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/lyonirene Twitter - https://twitter.com/Irene_Lyon   Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats

Show notes are available at https://www.justinlmft.com/post/irenelyon Links are to Amazon, where I get a portion of the sale at no extra cost to you. Gabor Mate, When The Body Says No  - https://amzn.to/2VNe0Q3 Peter Levine, Trauma Through a Child’s Eyes - https://amzn.to/2WHc7Fj Bruce Perry, Born for Love -  https://amzn.to/2PO3x6i Bruce Perry, The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog -  https://amzn.to/2...

Another excellent question from a fellow Trauma Nerd - are shutdown and introversion the same thing?  We don't have a crystal clear answer on that, but we've got an interesting discussion on it.  We'd love to hear what you think - send an audio message via email or Instagram DM! More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Mugs & more from Justin - https://society6...

We look at jealousy and insecurity - how are they connected?  Are they actually the same thing?  And how do they tie into the Polyvagal Theory?  Our response to a listener question. If you're new to the Polyvagal Theory, definitely listen to at least episodes 1-4 of this podcast. More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Polyvagal Podcast merchandise - https://s...

If you're stuck in shutdown, you're definitely not alone.  Getting out of shut down and back up the polyvagal ladder might require less fighting than you think. More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Mugs & more from Justin - https://society6.com/justinlmft Recommended reading - https://www.justinlmft.com/books Mentioned in this episode: Naming Your Stuckness...

We already know that the environments we spend time in are filled with cues of danger and safety.  The workplace is no different.  But what about how our coworkers, the work culture and work hierarchies?  Justin & Mercedes take a look at a couple new aspects to the workplace that might be affecting your place on the polyvagal ladder. Your homework assignment - Go out of your way to greet someone n...

The work isn't done FOR us or TO us.  It's on us though. Get even more Polyvagal Podcast content, including the rest of this livestream, for $5 a month here - justinlmft.com/members   Mentioned in this episode: Naming Your Stuckness Not sure which stuck state you're in? That's normal, and more common than you'd think. I made a free page that lays the stuck states out in plain language so you can f...

More in depth show notes are available here - https://www.justinlmft.com/post/jillmiller Check out the Coregous Ball for yourself here - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VRXJ9BB/?cv_ct_id=amzn1.idea.3EFKO87WPMGD9&cv_ct_pg=storefront&cv_ct_wn=aip-storefront&ref=exp_cov_justinlmft_dp_vv_d Buy her yoga tune up balls for yourself! -  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DJN1V48/?cv_ct_id=amzn1.idea.3EFKO87WPMGD9&...

More in depth show notes are available here - https://www.justinlmft.com/jillmiller Check out the Coregous Ball for yourself here - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VRXJ9BB/?cv_ct_id=amzn1.idea.3EFKO87WPMGD9&cv_ct_pg=storefront&cv_ct_wn=aip-storefront&ref=exp_cov_justinlmft_dp_vv_d Buy her yoga tune up balls for yourself! -  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DJN1V48/?cv_ct_id=amzn1.idea.3EFKO87WPMGD9&cv_ct...

We talk in depth about why it's not necessarily helpful to ask "why" to someone you're listening to.  We also talk about eyes and eyebrows when it comes to communication and what you may be signaling.  PLUS we talk about the fact that you don't need to listen to someone if you aren't ready.  Maybe it's best to wait until you're in your safe/social state! Great episode for friends, family and thera...

If you need even more Polyvagal Podcast content, we got it for you! https://www.justinlmft.com/members Contact either of us at - https://www.justinlmft.com/contact   Mentioned in this episode: Naming Your Stuckness Not sure which stuck state you're in? That's normal, and more common than you'd think. I made a free page that lays the stuck states out in plain language so you can find words for what...

You really try to understand me, even if I’m not making much sense. You grasp my point of view, even when it’s against your own sincere convictions. You realize the hour I took from you has left you a bit tired and a bit drained. You allow me the dignity of making my own decisions, even though you think they may be wrong. You do not take my problem from me but allow me to deal with it in my own wa...

We look back on the 4 ways to express love that your child will experience as love and apply it to teens. Yes, they need your love too! the 4 Ways to Express Love episode - https://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode27 More Polyvagal Podcast content for $5/mo - https://www.justinlmft.com/members Polyvagal Podcast merchandise - https://society6.com/justinlmft Intro/Outro music & Transition Sounds by Be...

7 ways that you are not listening: You say you understand. You say you have an answer before you've heard the problem. You cut someone off before they finish speaking. You finish someone's sentences. You're dying to tell me something while I am talking. You share your experiences instead. You refuse my thanks. Your homework assignments -  Notice when you are not listening. Accept gratitude. Connec...

Watch the “Safe & Social” music video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql2TGMRDh7k&feature=youtu.be   Miles Irving Website - https://www.milesirving.com/   Forager - https://www.forager.org.uk/wild-food-blog/19-ideas-philosophy/140-worldwild-podcast   More Polyvagal Podcast content in the Members' Area - https://www.justinlmft.com/members   Benjo Beats - https://soundcloud.com/benjobeats Mentione...

All about consequences in this episode: Why they are important When they mean nothing Positive consequences vs gift/reward/bribe Natural consequences Your homework assignment - Plan out your consequence structure and discuss with everyone that needs to be a part of it. More detailed show notes on justinlmft.com/post/episode28 SUPPORT the Polyvagal Podcast and get access to exclusive BONUS EPISODES...

Deb Dana - one third of my Polyvagal Trinity.  Deb Dana is called "the Pied Piper of the Polyvagal Theory," and honestly someone I want to be like when I grow up.  She does the stuff I do, but better and first.  I gotta be honest.  We talk in depth about: "Story follows State" Climbing the Polyvagal Ladder Diagnosing DEB DANA - http://www.debdanalcsw.com/ (these next two links will take you to Ama...

You're not you're diagnosis.  It's a label - a shorthand system for professionals to use - to collect "symptoms" that typically occur together.  It makes communication among therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists easier.  And that's the point of diagnoses.  And insurance building. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/message Mentioned in this episode: Naming Your St...

We go in depth into each of these four ways to express love.  It's not enough to just love your kiddos, you also need to express it.  And express it in ways they will be able to get. 1. Say it out loud 2. Write it down 3. Physical affection 4. Play DETAILED SHOW NOTES - http://www.justinlmft.com/post/episode27 JOIN THE TRAUMA NERDS Forum - http://www.justinlmft.com/forum CONTACT either of us at ht...

We answer two questions from our amazing Listeners.  We originally answered these on our weekly Instagram Live segment, which you can be a part of every Sunday at 915pm PST. Consider supporting the podcast - $5/mo will give you access to the Bonus section and the exclusive episodes inside.  This section is updated every 1-2 weeks! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/polyvagalpodcast/mes...