Straight War Bets
Stonks Gone Wrong
A savage daily roast of the dumbest moves in the stock market. From clueless CEOs and meme stock meltdowns to shady earnings calls and Wall Street’s worst takes — we break the news and break down laughing. Think CNBC, but if the hosts were Reddit mods with nothing to lose. No financial advice. Just unfiltered market chaos, sarcasm, and stonk carnage. New episodes daily.
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Episodes
July 06, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 06.07.2025 2:35
Date: July 06, 2025. Oil prices declined as OPEC+ increased production, raising concerns over supply gluts. U.S. stock futures fell ahead of tariffs set to take effect on August 1, as markets in Asia opened cautiously. While broader market rally beyond Big Tech continues, analysts question potential rebound for consumer stocks in the latter half of the year. Delta Air Lines prepares for second-qua...
July 05, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 05.07.2025 5:08
July 05, 2025: Markets experienced volatility as Trump’s tariffs took effect, leading to uncertainty among investors. Banks are retreating from certain securities, impacting credit markets. Petrobras has partnered with Chinese companies to revitalize its shipbuilding sector. Big Tech stocks received a boost from new clean-energy credits, reflecting a shift towards sustainable investments. Addition...
July 04, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 04.07.2025 3:24
July 04, 2025: The U.S. stock market faces volatility as S&P 500 futures and the dollar decline amid renewed tariff tensions following Trump's remarks on the economy. In a recent ceremony, Trump signed a significant tax-and-spend bill, impacting market sentiment. Meanwhile, an Indian regulator has barred a U.S. trading firm from its stock market over allegations of index manipulation. Market e...
July 03, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 03.07.2025 3:26
Date: July 03, 2025. Asian equities are set to rise following positive US jobs data, boosting market sentiment. The Dow and Russell 2000 join the upward trend, signaling potential strength for bulls. Oil prices continue to decline amid reports of US-Iran negotiations resuming. Meanwhile, Hong Kong intervened for the third time this week to defend its currency peg. In Peru, the influence of informa...
July 02, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 02.07.2025 4:09
Date: July 02, 2025. Stocks hit new highs as a recent trade deal bolstered market sentiment. Tesla's shares surged following better-than-expected EV delivery figures. Datadog will join the S&P 500, while Juniper Networks exits after its acquisition by HPE. The U.S. has lifted restrictions on ethane exports to China, impacting energy stocks. However, Japan's department store shares lag due to a...
July 01, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 01.07.2025 5:12
**Date: July 01, 2025** - Markets experienced volatility as Japan's stocks faced further losses amid renewed threats from former President Trump. Hong Kong intervened to defend its FX peg, which was tested again. Figma has filed for an IPO, positioning itself as a competitor to Adobe. In other news, analysts indicated that Trump's tax bill may not significantly boost growth. Rockefeller's Global C...
June 30, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 30.06.2025 5:21
June 30, 2025: Markets experienced mixed movements today as the Euro surged to its strongest level against the Yuan since 2014. Oil prices continued to decline, with investors closely monitoring OPEC+ production hikes. Oracle's stock saw notable gains, driven by strong earnings reports. Meanwhile, US Treasuries received support from Korea’s wealth fund. Tariff concerns kept Asian markets on edge a...
June 27, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 27.06.2025 3:17
June 27, 2025 - The S&P 500 reached a record high for the first time in four months as investors reacted positively to strong market momentum. President Trump’s trade threats continue to cast a shadow over Wall Street, yet optimism prevails with tech stocks gaining traction. Wells Fargo successfully navigated another Fed hurdle following stress tests, while billionaire Michael Dell sold $1.2 b...
June 26, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 26.06.2025 3:36
June 26, 2025 - The S&P 500 closed just shy of its record high, briefly topping it for the first time in four months as bullish sentiments increase amid growing expectations of Federal Reserve interest rate cuts. Nike reported results that exceeded estimates, though the CEO noted the company still has goals to achieve. Meanwhile, China's credit ETFs are set to nearly double as investments shif...
June 25, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 25.06.2025 3:38
On June 25, 2025, Brazil's Lower House blocked a key tax decree, posing a fiscal challenge for President Lula. Asian shares opened cautiously amid a pause in market rally. In company news, Richard Li’s FWD Group announced plans for a $442 million IPO in Hong Kong. Steelcase, the office-furniture maker, revealed job cuts in Q1, indicating potential for further layoffs. Meanwhile, Hong Kong's govern...
June 24, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 24.06.2025 5:03
June 24, 2025 - Financial markets are experiencing mixed signals today. The S&P 500 is nearing a record high as stocks soar, while oil prices ticked higher after a two-day slump, amidst a Mideast ceasefire. FedEx shares are under pressure due to a bleak profit forecast, aiming to save $1 billion this fiscal year as tariffs impact shipments. In corporate news, New Zealand fintech Xero announced...
June 23, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 23.06.2025 4:16
June 23, 2025: Treasury yields decline as investors anticipate a potential interest-rate cut by the Federal Reserve in July. Oil prices drop significantly following Trump’s announcement of a ceasefire in the Middle East, positively impacting stock markets. Carnival Cruise faces customer attrition, but Wall Street remains unfazed. Meanwhile, private equity firms seek loans in Asia to facilitate inv...
June 22, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 22.06.2025 2:18
June 22, 2025: Oil prices surged amid heightened tensions following U.S. strikes on Iran, leading to significant market volatility. Gold also saw gains as investors sought safe havens. U.S. futures dropped in response to the geopolitical unrest. The S&P 500, while up for June, faces pressure from fears over tariffs and potential Iranian retaliation. In tech news, Tesla launched its robotaxi se...
June 21, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 21.06.2025 5:19
June 21, 2025: Oil traders remain uncertain amid ongoing geopolitical tensions following Trump's mixed signals regarding Iran. The US stock market displays mild fluctuations as investors await Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell's remarks on inflation. Meanwhile, a Chinese biotech firm introduces a competitor to Eli Lilly's obesity treatment, potentially impacting the pharmaceutical sector. Distre...
June 20, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 20.06.2025 3:22
June 20, 2025: The S&P 500 saw a significant spike in trading volume as markets closed, driven by resilience against geopolitical tensions. Oil stocks remained robust amid ongoing uncertainties in US-Iran relations. Oklo's stock surged over 500% in the past year, prompting discussions on its growth strategy. Carnival Cruise Line faced backlash over its new loyalty program, labeled poorly recei...
June 19, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 19.06.2025 3:40
June 19, 2025: US futures dipped as markets reacted to President Trump's consideration of military action in Iran. JD.com’s billionaire sparked controversy with a viral food-delivery stunt, reigniting competition in China's delivery sector. In bond markets, a rural bank plans a return to Japanese bonds following gains from Nvidia investments. Amid rising interest rates and ongoing layoffs, experts...
June 18, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 18.06.2025 3:52
June 18, 2025: Markets faced volatility as the Federal Reserve maintained its forecast for two interest rate cuts this year, despite rising inflation concerns. Asian stocks are expected to decline following warnings from Fed Chair Jerome Powell about inflation risks, leading to U.S. stocks erasing earlier gains. Encino announced plans to cut 121 jobs in Houston amid a $5.6 billion deal with EOG Re...
June 17, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 17.06.2025 4:57
June 17, 2025: Markets reflect mixed sentiment as oil prices continue to rally amid escalating Middle East tensions, with notable gains following Trump’s warnings regarding Iran. The Fed signals potential rate cuts may be delayed until September, creating uncertainty around its balance sheet management. Amazon's CEO cautions that advancements in AI could lead to job reductions at the company, urgi...
June 17, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 17.06.2025 5:11
June 17, 2025: U.S. stock markets experienced mixed movements today, with AMD's stock climbing 9% amid positive market sentiment. U.S. Steel shares surged following Trump's call for a 'golden share.' In the commodities sector, oil prices advanced after Trump urged evacuations in Tehran, impacting U.S. futures negatively. Hedge funds are actively managing portfolios, with one offloading its top per...
June 15, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 15.06.2025 3:44
June 15, 2025: Gold prices are nearing record highs as geopolitical tensions in the Middle East drive safe-haven demand. Oil prices continue to rise amid concerns over supply disruptions linked to the Israel-Iran conflict. The Chinese yuan may see further declines as Beijing aims to boost exports. Market analysts suggest the upcoming Federal Reserve meeting is unlikely to catalyze significant stoc...
June 14, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 14.06.2025 5:18
June 14, 2025: Major market movements today highlight a significant 1,500% surge in a single stock, sparking debate on whether to sell amidst the volatility. Boeing announces plans for 44,000 new jets but cautions about slow production rates. Concerns grow over corporate debt as Jeffrey Gundlach raises alarms in his latest commentary. In broader economic news, the global financial landscape remain...
June 13, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 13.06.2025 3:49
June 13, 2025: Markets are reacting to geopolitical tensions as the Israel-Iran conflict raises concerns over summer travel and investor sentiment. Bond markets fail to provide the usual safe haven, prompting caution among investors. In corporate news, Crystal Palace FC's backer, Eagle, has confidentially filed for a US IPO. Meanwhile, Adobe's latest earnings report has failed to satisfy investors...
June 12, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 13.06.2025 5:32
June 12, 2025: Crude oil prices surged amid rising Middle East tensions as former President Trump warned of escalation. Asian stocks are poised for gains following a slowdown in U.S. inflation. Meanwhile, Micron Technology continues its stock rally. Kenvue is reportedly exploring the sale of certain brands, while BPCE approaches a nearly €7 billion acquisition of Novo Banco. Concerns grow over the...
June 11, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 11.06.2025 4:14
Date: June 11, 2025. The S&P 500 halted its rally near record highs as major tech stocks faced declines. Voyager's stock sees increasing investor demand despite concerns over past space-tech IPO performances. Chime successfully priced its IPO at $27 per share, raising $864 million, exceeding initial expectations. Stock futures and the dollar dipped due to potential Trump tariffs, while oil pri...
June 11, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 11.06.2025 6:23
June 11, 2025: Markets are poised for gains following positive developments in US-China trade talks. IBM shares reached an all-time high, boosting overall market sentiment, while the S&P 500 nears record levels. Voyager, a space firm, successfully raised $383 million in its IPO, exceeding initial pricing expectations. In real estate, Barbara Corcoran sold her New York penthouse for $12 million...
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