Straight War Bets
Stonks Gone Wrong
A savage daily roast of the dumbest moves in the stock market. From clueless CEOs and meme stock meltdowns to shady earnings calls and Wall Street’s worst takes — we break the news and break down laughing. Think CNBC, but if the hosts were Reddit mods with nothing to lose. No financial advice. Just unfiltered market chaos, sarcasm, and stonk carnage. New episodes daily.
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Episodes
June 09, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 09.06.2025 6:00
June 09, 2025: Asia stocks are poised for gains as US-China talks progress. In a noteworthy development, Japan's pension funds have appointed their first Chief Investment Officers, managing a portfolio valued at $400 billion. The S&P has downgraded Warner Bros. bonds to junk status, raising concerns among investors. Meanwhile, Whirlpool successfully sold $1.2 billion in its first junk-bond dea...
June 08, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 08.06.2025 4:00
June 08, 2025: U.S. stock futures remained flat as markets await renewed trade talks with China. Asian stocks are anticipated to advance, buoyed by positive jobs data. However, China's copper industry faces challenges as miners assert their bargaining power. In South Korea, activist retail investors are targeting corporate underperformers. A notable legal case involves a quant firm's $1 billion tr...
June 07, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 07.06.2025 5:46
June 07, 2025: Markets reacted to key financial developments today. French President Macron emphasized the continuation of subsidies for energy-efficient homes, while the U.S. Supreme Court granted DOGE access to Social Security data following Elon Musk's resignation from his role. Inflation is projected to rise as tariffs impact consumers. European Central Bank officials, including Schnabel and L...
June 06, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 06.06.2025 5:36
June 06, 2025: The S&P 500 remains unchanged following the quarterly rebalance by S&P Dow Jones. In corporate news, the Supreme Court granted Dogecoin access to Social Security data, shortly after Elon Musk's departure from his role. Concerns arise as Trump proposes economic reforms that could impact financial stability. Colombia's finance chief indicates a suspension of fiscal rules, whil...
June 05, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 05.06.2025 5:52
On June 05, 2025, financial markets showed notable activity. Trump Media announced plans to pursue a Bitcoin ETF, signaling a deeper dive into the crypto space. Procter & Gamble revealed job cuts, raising concerns about the consumer brand sector's health. Broadcom's stock cooled despite strong AI-driven earnings. Meanwhile, options traders are aggressively betting against Tesla, reflecting hei...
June 04, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 04.06.2025 5:42
June 04, 2025: U.S. Treasuries rallied amid speculation of a Federal Reserve interest rate cut, while stocks reached new peaks. The S&P 500 approaches 6,000, prompting investors to heed two critical strategies. Circle's IPO successfully raised $1.1 billion, indicating strong interest in stablecoin ventures. However, Enterprise Products faces regulatory challenges as the U.S. plans to deny its...
June 04, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 04.06.2025 6:14
June 04, 2025: Markets showed mixed movements today as oil prices gained amid positive trade talk progress, while Treasuries rallied following weaker economic data, reinforcing expectations for Federal Reserve actions. In corporate news, Uruguay's DLocal announced plans to acquire AZA Finance to expand its presence in Africa. Investors are increasingly cautious, with reports highlighting that many...
June 02, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 02.06.2025 5:58
June 02, 2025: Asian stocks are poised for a boost following a rebound in US tech shares, providing optimism in the markets. Despite ongoing tariff uncertainties, analysts suggest that stocks may continue to rise through the summer. In company news, Byron Allen has enlisted Moelis to explore the sale of $1 billion in local stations. Meanwhile, CFO turnover reached a record high in the first quarte...
June 01, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 01.06.2025 3:35
June 01, 2025 - Oil prices surged as OPEC+ announced a significant production hike, responding to geopolitical risks. US futures dipped amid concerns over potential Trump tariffs, while crude prices continued to rise. The stock market's strong performance in May is overshadowed by looming tariff uncertainties and job market anxieties. Analysts are also examining the potential benefits of media com...
May 31, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 31.05.2025 4:05
On May 31, 2025, U.S. markets reacted to significant developments as the White House plans to ease regulations for major banks, potentially impacting financial stability. Job growth expectations are moderating amid changing trade policies. Meanwhile, demand for risky AT1 bonds remains high among untested banks. Meyer Burger announced a delay in its financial results as two of its units filed for i...
May 30, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 30.05.2025 3:47
Date: May 30, 2025. The S&P 500 concluded May with its strongest performance since 1990, despite renewed concerns over tariffs following Trump's announcement to raise US steel import tariffs to 50%. Costco managed to navigate the tariff turmoil, unlike other retailers. In corporate news, Hadiran CEO Power discussed the importance of re-shoring high-skill labor, while Scholl emphasized the role...
May 29, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 29.05.2025 6:40
On May 29, 2025, markets experienced a mixed day following key developments. The Asian markets faced a soft start as the U.S. rally began to fade. Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell met with former President Trump for the first time this term, stirring speculation about future monetary policy. Nvidia's outlook improved significantly, boosting investor confidence. Ulta Beauty raised its forecast d...
May 27-28, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 28.05.2025 5:07
On May 28, 2025, gold prices edged higher following previous losses, with U.S. economic data and trade discussions in focus. Asian shares mirrored Wall Street gains, while bond markets remained steady. Retail investors continue to show confidence despite concerns that this could exacerbate the ongoing market selloff. Nvidia's upcoming earnings report is anticipated as a critical test for the stock...
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