Straight War Bets
Stonks Gone Wrong
A savage daily roast of the dumbest moves in the stock market. From clueless CEOs and meme stock meltdowns to shady earnings calls and Wall Street’s worst takes — we break the news and break down laughing. Think CNBC, but if the hosts were Reddit mods with nothing to lose. No financial advice. Just unfiltered market chaos, sarcasm, and stonk carnage. New episodes daily.
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Episodes
August 01, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 01.08.2025 5:24
Date: August 01, 2025. In today's financial news, Airbnb partners with Lollapalooza to expand its music offerings, while Walmex faces leadership shakeup as CEO Caride resigns unexpectedly. The U.S. economic outlook is under scrutiny after President Trump dismisses the BLS chief following a disappointing jobs report. Meanwhile, bonds and the dollar signal potential trouble for the economy, promptin...
July 31, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 31.07.2025 3:49
On July 31, 2025, Figma's IPO surged by 250%, enhancing its position in the competitive creative AI software sector. Apple reported earnings that exceeded estimates, driven by increased phone sales amid tariff concerns. Reddit's stock experienced significant gains following strong earnings results. Vale reported a solid quarter despite facing lower prices and weaker sales. MicroStrategy announced...
July 30, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 30.07.2025 3:22
On July 30, 2025, U.S. markets faced declines as the Dow and S&P 500 fell, impacted by a stronger dollar and the Federal Reserve's decision to hold interest rates steady. In corporate news, design software maker Figma successfully raised $1.2 billion in its IPO. Meanwhile, popular online shopping platforms saw gains ahead of Amazon's earnings report. The copper trade halted as Trump's import t...
July 29, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 29.07.2025 4:15
July 29, 2025: Markets reacted to significant corporate developments as an oil company announced a $14 billion investment in the AI data-center sector. Goldman Sachs expanded its wealth management services in Asia, targeting affluent clients preparing for generational wealth transfer. SoFi shares fell sharply following a $1.5 billion stock offering, while Booking and Caesar's reported earnings hig...
July 28, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 28.07.2025 2:57
Date: July 28, 2025. Nike's stock surged following an analyst's bullish recommendation ahead of the upcoming soccer World Cup. Meanwhile, Asian stocks are projected to decline as tariff sentiment cools. In corporate news, Mars announced the U.S. rollout of Hotel Chocolat, while the parent company of Bed Bath & Beyond faces new challenges unrelated to retail. Additionally, the E.U. plans to pur...
July 27, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 27.07.2025 3:20
July 27, 2025 – U.S. stock futures rose following President Trump's announcement of a 15% tariff deal with the European Union, alleviating immediate trade war concerns. The S&P 500 is under scrutiny as investors weigh its potential for growth amid these developments. Australia's pension funds are hedging, which is expected to support the local dollar. Meanwhile, interest in CK Hutchison has re...
July 26, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 26.07.2025 5:25
On July 26, 2025, pressure intensifies on Fed Chair Jerome Powell ahead of crucial GDP and jobs data releases. Union Pacific is reportedly close to a deal with Norfolk Southern, while concerns about rising fiscal deficits drive significant investments into credit markets. A veteran investor expresses caution amidst current bull market trends but remains optimistic about select stocks. In cybersecu...
July 25, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 25.07.2025 3:29
July 25, 2025 - The S&P 500 reached its fifth consecutive record high as investors await a pivotal Europe-U.S. trade meeting. PayPal experienced its longest winning streak in years ahead of upcoming earnings, while AutoNation's stock surged, driven by higher car prices that exceeded sales and profit estimates. In corporate news, a former LVMH executive warns of a challenging year ahead for the...
July 24, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 24.07.2025 3:02
On July 24, 2025, Asian stocks are set to decline following a tech-driven rally on Wall Street. Intel reported mixed earnings, showcasing impressive revenue but significant losses due to ongoing restructuring efforts. Market analysts discuss the complexities faced by CEOs amidst trade tensions and Federal Reserve speculation. Veteran investors express caution regarding current bull markets while m...
July 23, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 23.07.2025 4:05
On July 23, 2025, markets rallied as optimism over trade deals boosted stocks while safe-haven assets retreated. Meme stocks surged again, with Reddit traders reporting substantial gains, including one individual up $45,000 in just an hour. New Fortress Energy has sought advice from Houlihan amid a bond market downturn. Fortescue recorded record iron ore shipments while transitioning away from hyd...
July 22, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 22.07.2025 4:33
Date: July 22, 2025. Markets showed mixed movements today as the S&P 500 maintained its record highs, buoying Asian traders' optimism. Trump Media experienced a brief stock increase due to Bitcoin-related news, though investor sentiment remains cautious regarding its crypto plans. Kohl's stock surged alongside Opendoor, contributing to a meme-stock 'mini-bubble.' Meanwhile, Vale reported an up...
July 21, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 21.07.2025 5:12
July 21, 2025 - Asian stocks showed sluggish performance following a waning rally in US markets. Opendoor experienced significant volatility, suffering a dramatic afternoon decline. In Brazil, authorities launched an investigation into alleged insider trading related to recent Trump tariff news. IBM's stock continues to outperform the S&P 500 this year, raising expectations for upcoming earnin...
July 19, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 19.07.2025 5:13
July 19, 2025: Markets react as the UK government commits to halving sewage spills by 2030, prompting discussions on environmental investments. The European Central Bank remains steadfast amid ongoing trade tensions linked to Trump. Company insiders show extreme bearish sentiment, yet express optimism on 11 specific stocks. Additionally, the US government threatens to disrupt the Delta-Aeromexico...
July 18, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 18.07.2025 3:39
July 18, 2025: Markets react to significant developments, with Block set to join the S&P 500, replacing Hess, causing its stock to rise. MIAX has filed for a long-awaited US IPO, signaling renewed interest in exchange operators. The crypto market celebrates a major win, boosting investor sentiment. American Express reports strong earnings driven by increased consumer spending in luxury categor...
July 17, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 17.07.2025 5:39
July 17, 2025 - U.S. markets reacted to mixed signals, with Fed's Waller advocating for an interest rate cut due to a weakening labor market. Asian stocks are expected to rise following positive U.S. economic data. BHP reported a 2% increase in fourth-quarter iron ore output, with copper also up. Despite Netflix's profit surge, its stock did not see the expected gains. The FTC dismissed orders aga...
July 16, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 16.07.2025 3:33
July 16, 2025: Markets rallied as the dollar weakened, with stocks climbing amid ongoing discussions surrounding the Trump-Powell saga. Fed's Williams warned of rising inflation driven by tariffs, suggesting higher prices ahead. Japan's $6.8 trillion stock market faces scrutiny ahead of elections. In corporate news, United Airlines adjusted its profit outlook, but investor sentiment remains cautio...
July 15, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 15.07.2025 4:32
July 15, 2025 – Asian markets showed caution amid declining Federal Reserve rate hike expectations. Rio Tinto reported steady iron ore exports, focusing on new CEO leadership. MicroStrategy's stock experienced a pullback, while Nvidia surged as a deal with China boosts prospects for a $5 trillion market cap. Albertsons highlighted the absence of tariff-related inflation. In currency news, Hong Kon...
July 14, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 14.07.2025 3:31
On July 14, 2025, markets await confirmation of growth as UBS analyst Lovell provides insights. Bitcoin prices surge as Congress initiates 'Crypto Week.' Vanguard's Devereux advises investors to remain disciplined through the remainder of 2025. In corporate news, Robinhood misses its opportunity for S&P 500 inclusion, while Trade Desk prepares to join the index. Discussions arise regarding Tru...
July 13, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 13.07.2025 3:10
July 13, 2025: U.S. stock futures declined as former President Trump's renewed tariff threats weighed on market sentiment. Bitcoin surged to a new high amid increasing investor interest. In India, private banks are aggressively investing to attract talent in a thriving wealth management sector. Meanwhile, Singapore's IPO market looks for revival, hinging on NTT's upcoming offering. Oil prices cont...
July 12, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 12.07.2025 5:50
July 12, 2025: U.S. markets faced pressure as the worst spate of downgrades since 2021 weighed on investor sentiment. Inflation concerns are rising due to anticipated tariff pass-throughs, impacting consumer spending. In corporate news, analysts suggest that Tesla and Apple should be replaced in the 'Magnificent Seven' by two emerging tech stocks. Meanwhile, the Trump Organization has expanded its...
July 11, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 11.07.2025 4:29
July 11, 2025 - U.S. stocks and government bonds experienced a sell-off as trade tensions dampened market optimism. Nvidia faced its only sell call on Wall Street, while Florida's Brightline Train deferred a bond payment amid increasing financial challenges. Comments from Navarro labeled Fed Chair Powell as a 'clown', reflecting concerns in the bond market. Additionally, discussions on Trump's tax...
July 10, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 10.07.2025 4:43
Date: July 10, 2025. The S&P 500 and Nasdaq reached new record highs today, buoyed by strong earnings reports and investor optimism. Nvidia's market capitalization hit $4 trillion, raising questions about future growth. Levi's leveraged trendy apparel to mitigate tariff impacts, while Pimco noted Japan's efforts to attract capital amid trade diversifications. Chinese stocks showed resilience,...
July 09, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 09.07.2025 4:08
July 09, 2025: Asian stocks are poised for a rally following a tech boost that lifted the S&P 500. In the U.S., Costco reported accelerating monthly sales growth, reversing earlier slowdowns. Meanwhile, Nutella's parent company saw its stock rise on news of a $3 billion deal. Senators are advocating for a 'light touch' regulatory approach to the crypto market, while discussions continue on the...
July 08, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 08.07.2025 3:01
Date: July 08, 2025. U.S. markets are reacting to increased tariff concerns as stocks hit a wall of uncertainty, influenced by aggressive economic policies reminiscent of former President Trump's business tactics. Apple faces leadership changes as a key executive departs, but analysts remain optimistic about the company's future. Asian markets are set for a cautious open, reflecting global apprehe...
July 07, 2025 - Stonks Gone Wrong Market Update 07.07.2025 3:01
Date: July 07, 2025. Markets experienced volatility as Netflix faced scrutiny over growth strategies impacting its stock price. Samsung reported its first profit drop since 2023 due to delays in AI chip production. Asian investors braced for renewed tariff fallout, with strategists predicting weaker Asian currencies amid escalating trade tensions. Meanwhile, Exxon warned Wall Street of potential b...
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