Steve and Jason Are Having a Real Fun Time

Jason's son ruins farting by blaming others with zero consequence (that's what he wants to do!), Steve's son ruins The Simpsons by watching it categorically, not chronologically, and Jason's family ruins the manic fun of Hungry Hungry Hippos by being just so much better than him at it.

In the season premiere of Then You Ruined It, Steve ruins comfortable beds by seeking out some good old fashioned spooning while Jason ruins all sleep with an imaginary protective field around his bed that will lead to inevitable supernatural attacks if breached. Together, the guys ponder Mr. Fantastic's bedtime bathroom routine and agree that both skiwampus and cattywampus are dumb words.

Jason ruins the wholesome modern Christmas classic song, The Christmas Shoes. Observations include: Thinking the song is actually sung as a parody by Parker/Stone is the most perfect summation of the song ever All contemporary Christian band lead singers sound the exact same, come fight us A song that should make you feel for the child lead instead turns him/them into a zombie choir Rather than pr...

Jason's poop complicates the vacay, Steve's wish for toilet paper will not be granted, not even in the Magic Kingdom, and together the guys would be thrilled to put Patrick Warburton betwixt their rosy cheeks.

Jason can't stand your loud chewing and lip smacking and will passive-aggressively drown you out with whatever volume control is handy while Steve calls Jason on his hypocrisy and shames his own oral aural foibles. Steve also has a terrible idea to try out and thinks his scientific reasoning will beat Jason's emotional responses.

Alligators (could) ruin Steve's Airbnb by body slamming the windows open while Jason ruins the magic of Disney by assuming its "magic" would just keep the gators at bay. Steve also ruins the House of Mouse in so many ways, including demystifying the hotels and forcing his kids to wait and order their gift shop toys online when they get home. Finally, Jason admits that his amazing, memorable finds...

Jason ruined poop-watching a flick with temporary leg paralysis and Steve's friend's dad ruined pooping entirely with false medical statements. Together, the guys dream of a poop so bad, you have to go to a confessional afterwards. 

Steve's son rightfully asked what else that big, beautiful glacier can do, Mardi Gras is ruined by Jason's youthfulness, and Steve's dad ruined a lame vacation by taking away the hacky sack. It's a vacay bummer, but it's also here for your amusement, so enjoy!

Steve laments the lack of llamas in Jason's life, while Jason is sad (not sad) about it. An innocent woman had her day (life?) ruined when she was covered in llamit (llama vomit), all because Steve can't be gentle with the animals. Finally, Jason writes a cute little jingle you'll be singing for days.

Steve's phone hears him speaking Chinese and serves him ads to compliment his bilingual lifestyle, while both guys just wish someone would pay them to talk about their balls. Steve's Chinese mother-in-law once had photos taken that are apparently used pretty widely across social media, and Jason would rather you talk about his expensive phone than his rather nice, tall hair.

Steve nearly ruins the show with a simple misunderstanding, but Jason sets things straight rather quickly. After that, Steve tried to push a semi truck out of the mud with his teenaged friends, while Jason's dad just wanted a nice little plot of land to shoot some ducks on. Finally, Steve contemplates his goat heritage, while Jason thinks he's just a bit sheepish.

The guys agree that there are few greater shared thrills that pinning your hopes and dreams on a group of people you've never met in real life and probably never will, attempting to do a thing you never possibly could yourself. Sports are so crazy, Steve got so worked up at a Mariners game, he hated the SCOREKEEPER. Yeah, THAT poor person! And Jason knows true sadness now that he's been denied a s...

Jason is tired of God ruining his life by helping him and wants to know if the final scene of his movie will be the warehouse from Raiders of the Lost Ark but the boxes are full of McRibs. Steve thinks he's being Impractically Joked at because people think they might have seen him once before, somewhere.

When a kid on the youth baseball team you coach has bullets, YOU MAKE THE CALL. Also, Jason recalls having unfettered access to shotguns and more as a child and not really giving it a second thought. And since bullets are made to travel quickly and efficiently through the air, how do they fare in the human digestive system? Steve files his report in this episode of Then You Ruined It! Podcast albu...

When it comes to wild animals, the guys agree that "safaris" are great fun until mortal danger is introduced. And just why is Steve known as THE MONKEY KING in China? Finally, does Jason's hairstyle get him in trouble with the more flamboyant birds? All of this and more in the latest buffalo (bison?)-sized episode of Then You Ruined It! Original episode artwork by The Monkey King himself, Steve Sh...

SPORTSCAST! Steve raise ire and encourages theft with his sportswear, while Jason wishes his shoes weren't so damn cool. SPORTS! Jason stole his idea to satisfy people with problematic ideas with podcasts that never actually broadcast from The Big Bang Theory and here's a pro tip: plaid button-ups say "don't ask me about my sports opinions." SPORTS? Finally, the guys think kids should get out of u...

Jason's wife nearly ruined their trip when time zones temporarily confused her, Steve ruins all car trips by declaring they are dictatorships, and Jason learns just how often Steve finds himself over-beveraged. 

Jason ruined a trip to the homeland when he discovered himself discovering himself when he tried to discover himself. Also, men's feet usually ruin everything, so don't draw attention to them, please. Finally, Jason ruined sandals for everyone back in the 90's.

Jason ruins being social with his desire to have access to human skulls. Steve mentions he's not planning on doing anything with his (so long as Jason's junk isn't involved) and Zooey Deschanel's sister gets mixed up in the ensuing adventure. It's a can't miss episode.

Steve tries to sell Jason on cruises again, this time with a new deplorable cast of weirdos and degenerates like the Uber Driver who don't get how drive car, the Topless Topper who appears to be able to control her breasts to avoid or engage in social situations, and the functionally-orphaned kid who wants the pool to himself again and will talk about anything to make that happen. Inevitably, it a...

Steve worked himself into a shoot and nearly ruined a wrestling show by pooping his pants out of kayfabe, while Jason is more concerned with how high the ceilings were. Meanwhile, a rambunctious architect ruined his chances of building anything ever again due to a likely inconsequential beef.

Jason rarely speaks up but with all the speaking he and Steve do, that's hard to believe. Both guys agree that nachos in a novelty baseball helmet ruin absolutely nothing, and Steve and his son thought it was Taco Time, but no, that time was long past.

Grab your popcorn, because HOME SHARING REVIEW BOMB FIGHTS is on! VRBO knows you smoked so much ganja that you conjured the baby you don't have who was then hit by a falling screen door that never actually fell. Also, Steve review bombed a family-owned restaurant that was clearly trying its best and refuses to go back and see if he put them out of business for good.

Steve idolizes his dad and his fly-hunting technique which, not gonna lie, is kind of amazing. Seriously, have you ever seen someone shoot that sucker down, midflight? WITH A RUBBER BAND? MAN! Oh, and Jason uses a shoe on his hands like a confused Mickey Mouse and broke a window once.

In this hilarious look back at some previous episodes of this very podcast, we're reminded that Steve hates robots, his parents rolled the Jimmy and NEVER TOLD HIM, he proposed a surprisingly acceptable medical theory, he was reminded of Jason's nude sleeping ways thanks to him talking about Dorito dust in the sheets, and regaled us with stories about a Utah-appropriate sex shop? Yep, when you're...