Steve and Jason Are Having a Real Fun Time

Steve flies Southwest because they try to ruin flights by winging snacks at your kids. Jason admires the people who dare to work in the service industry and have an attitude. Finally, people in general ruin flights by flying unprepared and leaving their headphones at home. Stop doing that!

Jason ruined his own Thanksgiving by wanting to have freshly-trimmed fingernails. Both Steve and Jason want to sync their podcast to their house Christmas lights to ruin the holidays for everyone. And the guys talk about how they ruin their own chances for people to discover their podcast.

Steve is weirded out when something is so beautiful he doesn't want to pee on or in it. Also, Jason attempting to hang upside down would be like the grace of a spider hanging from its web being hit by a light wind. Finally, Steve thinks airdropping through the Aurora Borealis would be the ultimate thrill... for him to pee on!

Jason attempted a mini yoink of a garden snake but his kids feared he would anger the snake gods and he relented. The guys contend that "he's halfway to Jesus" sounds like a perfectly cromulent Southern colloquialism for describing the movements of a lizard. Finally, Steve proves that growing up an Idahoan means saying things like "I had to put all of my snakes down and I was ve...

Jason relished the chance to show people his giant bone and Steve was so taken with a lady he offered her his finest battle skull. Steve also overcomplicated college by forgetting the two key things he could do at any time: read or masturbate. We also find out that Jason's got a list of Boner Jamz you should never play around him. And finally, a college sex shower (singular) shouldn't requ...

Steve took the Klondike Challenge as a kid, but his prize was chocolate chips and the dare involved self-inflicted bodily harm. Meanwhile, bananas confound us for various reasons, many of which we discuss. Finally, Jason wanted to fly like Mario but he couldn't figure out where the cape would tie on. Strangely enough, when he finally got an actual cape with his name on it, he didn't attemp...

Steve describes at least one workout at the gym he doesn't want to do because it requires sharing the same... meatspace as another guy. Jason calling out Steve's terrible visual descriptions somehow leads a conversation about dongs on workout machines to stray ever-so briefly to the subject of accessibility. Together, the guys create a set of themed gyms they'll someday start.

Jason knows that every scary movie he watches automatically conjures the horror in his own life, ruining life in general for everyone around him during October. If the many podcasts that Jason chooses to listen to didn't force him to view movies he voluntarily watches, he'd be much less skittish that whole time. Meanwhile, Steve thinks asking a AAA video game developer to put his greatest...

Steve went to one of those "only in a teen movie" high school parties and there was JELL-O WRESTLING. But it wasn't... sexy? Really? Something's wrong here... Jason missed out on a massive outdoor co-ed mud fight because he didn't want to upset his girlfriend. Also, Steve forces Jason to relive a painful, bullying Pizza Hut-related memory for content because he thinks this is...

Jason proves that, if you really want to see wrestling, you'll take just about anyone along, including the gay friend who's crushing on you. He also once besmirched the good name of the king, Sir William Joel, and that earned him a trip to a secluded Murder House (TM) for sentencing (and punishment?). Finally, if so many other versions of us have died to give us power... is this as good as...

Jason notes that crushing cans was a Kansas kid's pastime for those who wished to recycle. Steve discovers that smashing cans against your head is exclusively a childhood/teenaged feat and is useless after college. Together, the guys read enough magazines to obliterate ten Amazon rainforests.

Siri regularly provides comedic timing that the best stand-up comedians only wish they could craft and Jason's family just moved on to allowing "butt" and the excitement amongst the parents is palpable. Steve gave up curse words for fresh chocolate chip cookies (and friends, probably). Also, Steve accidentally texted with his dad about how the sex was going with his mom and immediate...

Jason ruined his garage door by failing to think about how and why it works. Also, people keep showing up to Jason's house and stick around until he growls enough for them to catch his drift. Meanwhile, Steve and Jason can't remember where they were on 9/11, but they sure as heck know their whereabouts when Mike Tyson bit a man's ear off. Finally, Jason's opening a one-man show, Ge...

Jason still gets poked once a year and it's always equal parts surprising and humbling. He also did the dirty deed to access a locked bathroom stall, only to find his hard work was all for nothing... well, not NOTHING. Finally, Steve finds his consideration of janitorial staff when deciding where to ralph to be a spy-like trait, Jason... not so much.

Jason teaching his son how to shower went great... until it didn't. Meanwhile, Steve thinks showering with a partner is a great time and Jason wishes that were the case, but history has yet to bare that out. Finally, Steve showered with dudes and cultural differences made it more tense than usual.

Jason thinks a little boner during a massage is fine while Steve trusted his kids to help fix his back. However, Jason knows that where two children are gathered, one of them must act like a demonic hellspawn and should be treated as such. (Apologies for the audio, we'll work on it for next time.)

Jason's son unlocked the world when he learned to write "pee pee" while Steve thinks his friendship with Jason has saved both their marriages and he might not be wrong. Also, the guys agree that Jason's biggest drawback (and greatest strength?) is that he needs to get real problems.

Jason's no doctor, but he knows that something happens to your bladder when you fly that makes you pee more often and that's just science. Also, his son is so excited about peeing standing up, he takes his pants down WELL before he gets to the bathroom... let's just call that a work-in-progress. And finally, Jason thought on his feet (which is impressive considering he wasn't allow...

The lack of impulse control demonstrated by Jason's daughter has him wondering if he can take advantage of one of those "drop off your kid if you can't handle them yourself" boxes. She also refuses to use a more efficient method of communicating with a small set of friends that Google Docs, which is the greater sin in Steve's eyes. Meanwhile, his daughter hoards food, possibl...

So many entities now have podcasts, many of which are just vanity projects... is the quality of this show still acceptable? And why should we pay a producer for this show when we can make you think we pay a producer for this show? And how many knobs does it take to run an award-winning podcast?

Jason starts us out on a high note with the best name for a segment we've ever had on the show. Then Steve talks about how while he doesn't want to be a furry, he wants to find his furry. Then Jason talks about why he doesn't have friends or go to the doctor. Finally explains why you should go to the doctor, just make sure they cut their fingernails first.

Jason and his wife criticize each other's lounging pants for fun while the ghost of Jason's once-perky butt haunts him to this day. Steve thinks Bob Saget probably had a very unremarkable butt. Also, Jason understands that men assume their tugs and adjustments are secret, but everyone knows... and Steve with his big black coat was no different.

The guys support all those striking for fair wages and treatment, but there ain't nobody acting or writing in this silly podcast, so the show must go on! Watches and warnings are never more prescient than when the conditions are favorable for unintended intestinal movements. Jason's old work friends were close, but not "let's discuss our poop" close. Also, when your stomach i...

Steve spent a weekend camping between the bathrooms and the crab trash cans, right where you wanna be. Jason constantly gives himself reminders that his little victories are just the bare minimum and he deserves no reward. And finally, let's talk about Threads , the hot new app from the makers of Instagram and Facebook ! And Bluesky ( Blue Sky? BlueSky? Blooskie? )! They're all run by mora...

Some fat kids own their look and make it work and to those tubbies, we salute you. Jason couldn't make skinny kid work for him and he's finding it even harder being a tweener (between skinny and a gut that won't quit). The guys also think maybe their combativeness kept people from enjoying their webcomics criticisms in large numbers. Finally, Jason's middle school choir director to...