Steve and Jason Are Having a Real Fun Time

Jason did real hero stuff! Which is surprising to Steve considering (gestures generally towards Jason)! His good deeds also got him some bomb-ass cookies! Being good rocks! Also, Steve is probably seeing random phantoms and his family might be experiencing... the Shinning.

Steve learns from a horny clam Miyagi how best to pleasure the beach and Jason agrees to seek him out. Adventure!

Everyone has a good time at the park until the crotch is injured! But even a near-testicular laceration cannot deter Jason's son from enjoying some freakin' froyo! Steve regales us about the sad tubes and tires that peppered his childhood parks! And find out why Jason thinks he was a Seinfeld on the playground, but Steve finds his material much more Rickles-esque.

Jason can't find a new job because no one knows or will acknowledge how awesome he is! But he also can't get his pants off! Maybe he should think of giving up the joggers and also admit they're really just sweatpants! Steve thinks he can use the situation to grow and learn!

Jason's family must wear shower shoes in their own showers and Steve has a number system for his bathroom waste and you'll never guess what number three is! Now get in there and make a new number!

The guys agree that the best part of playing a sport is getting to choose your walk-up/out music and Jason agrees that Steve is too on-the-nose with his daily music choices! His musical would never work!

Steve's classmate ate chalk like it was an Altoid! It caused extreme tummy distress! Steve also paid kids to eat june bugs! Jason would rather blow his quarters on Street Fighter II which Steve totally respects! He also doesn't eat weird stuff, no matter what his supposed friends say! And he always goes twosies on McRibs! Steve's dyslexia is music to Jason's ears!

We're relaunching with a new look, a new season, and the same great taste! Eww! Jason's son made a new Chinese friend in the girl next door! Jason's friends (friend?) used to ask him to play video games for them, too! He swears to it! Both Steve and Jason wonder if the supermodels are all woke now! Steve is concerned that he can only name three supermodels! Jason's high school bask...

Steve went to a live nativity (yes, around Christmas) and Jason questions whether God cares about that form of expressing His Son's birth or not. A poor shepherd in that same live nativity tried to deny the liveliness of a sheep... presenting to the gathered masses. The guys imagine that even searching for anuses under the auspices of it being for a podcast is probably frowned upon by society...

Jason's family is in a rut, but it's a fun rut? It's vacation time, after all! Since he didn't trust his kids to talk him down from a panic attack 100 feet in the air, he instead trusted them to go on that ride by themselves. And it went pretty well! He also blamed his Switch 2 announcement woes on a certain Cheeto-faced racist dullard, making him a miserable pile of secrets for at...

Steve isn't willing to remove clothing to physically capture and reserve a space because he doesn't care enough, I guess. Meanwhile, Steve and his wife trying to verbally occupy a space just look like a flash mob who lost most of their mob. To Jason, Shinney Quest sounds like a game where everything is fetch quests. Finally, the guys wonder if Joe works in a button-pushing factory, or a bu...

Steve proved at Asian comedy night that yes, white people be crazy. Jason once drove over an hour to see someone's comedy set and he's pretty sure he didn't come off as too creepy. Also, Steve got too distracted by the rats to defend the women from the crackheads in what is apparently a regular experience in downtown Seattle. Finally, Steve wouldn't burn a Tesla, but he'd consi...

Steve uses the "in tents/intense" dad joke pun... Jason is unaffected! And have YOU ever played a game where someone nearly got stabbed? Also, we think playing laser tag and/or paint ball with people who have played Call of Duty online ruins an otherwise mirthful time. Jason is convinced that timely intervention from an adult could have saved poor Piggy. Finally, psychological warfare is...

Steve shows Jason an extremely phallic gourd with another special surprise for keen-eyed viewers! Meanwhile, Steve's family also gathered underneath a Christmas swastika to celebrate the season and Jason has just so many questions. Finally, Jason's mom made tiny biscuits for Christmas one year and no, they never let her hear the end of it.

Truly, "while going to the M&M Store, I saw Captain America try to cold cock a dude" is the kind of thing that definitely shouldn't stay in Vegas. Also, if Steve Rogers drops an F-bomb, you know you're on the last page of the comic book. Riker is the kind of freak to hold down someone so his friend could pee on them and we all know it. Finally, Steve (the co-host of this show...

Jason is just not sorry that he hopes to never have to poop in a urinal. By the way, on Halloween, all toilets run the chance of being haunted, we assume by old turds? Jason's childhood box fan was haunted, or brought about other spirits to... breathe near him? It's not exactly a ghost hunt, people. Finally, redcoats, foreskins, it's all the same, just get ready to shoot someone!

Steve took his family skiing and assumed he would be the XTREME MASTER due to his prior snowboarding days. However, despite Jason's protestations to the contrary, once he found the right slope, Steve was hotdoggin' and sandwichin' and just being a really sexy snake. Finally, Jason thinks heaven's foyer is playing a 24/7 video of the worst fails of the new arrivals to the Pearly Gat...

Patience is the last virtue a child displays when waiting to get into the family car. Also, car dealerships that aren't surrounded by other car dealerships are not to be trusted. And car salespeople come in all varieties of abilities but some appear to have none. Jason's father-in-law will laser focus on offending drivers and pinpoint his horn honk so there's no mistaking who is on the...

Jason finally talked to his new neighbors... while driving them to school one bus-less morning and just assumes they thought they were being kidnapped. Also, his thinly-veiled racism is really a callback to a joke from a previous episode (recorded the same night as this one), so he really was just making a bad joke and not a xenophobic one. And apparently, "Get your s*** and drive us to the s...

Jason took a few days to drive Miss Daisy while she attempted to drive him crazy. But earning non-traceable funds (for good deeds, no less!) is Jason's favorite kind of second Christmas, so the more the merrier! Finally, Steve is also considering a new job and has thought about being a Breaking Bad.

Steve's son is better than his dad in every measurable way (height, amount and quality of hair, sounds he makes in the bathroom in the morning), but he hasn't had to defend himself against bullies and that makes him weak. He's also producing content and CRUSHING IT. And Jason is very proud of his current urinary stream, thank you very much.

Both Jason and Steve want their kids and their kids' kids to treat this podcast like the journal they never kept. Jason's stool scare led to a whirlwind night wherein his butt made him $10 richer. And attempting to insert a... thing... in a place... led to a Three Stooges-esque comedy of errors that the hole family can enjoy!

Steve hears a cop brouhaha outside and decides the safest thing for a middle-class white guy to do is to go check on it. Turns out, someone called S.W.A.T. for a kid's birthday party and no one is buying Sue on the rooftop guns. Jason avoided a vehicular incident when Santa came to town by simply being busy. And both guys agree that, even in 2025, terminally-Nextdoor people never have the appr...

Steve's daughter delivered the perfect burn on a potential bully and he couldn't be prouder. Meanwhile, the Nintendo Treehouse remains the most magical place in the world in Jason's mind and he can't wait to mark it off his bucket list someday. Also, Steve has chosen his brother to off him in a zombified scenario because he once beat a traumatized deer to death with a tire iron. Finally, animal he...

Women have been known to carry things in their bra and Jason has no idea where the socio-economic boundaries of such behavior are formed. Also, brazen fondling around the house is a two-way street that no one should venture down, across, or through. It seems apparent to both Steve and Jason that co-WFH relationships lead to various Zoom misunderstandings and confused, even angry reactions. Finally...