Steve and Jason Are Having a Real Fun Time

Steve's roommate lost his taste buds to child abuse by wasabi and now he can mildly impress others! Jason is jealous of Steve's sitcom-ass rotating cast of roommates and once tried to make clapping for people when they walked into a room a thing to compensate! Software developers stand for their morning meetings and that's enough to make Jason uncomfortable without introducing hand-hol...

Jason hates the maintenance required for all three of his Christmas inflatables but Steve just assumes he's doing it wrong! Steve remarks that Elf on a Shelf is remarkably posterior-ready-shaped and now Jason can't unsee it, while also being more troubled by his diminutive family narc! Much like the number of members of their family, Jason and his wife have decided to cap the number of inf...

Steve discovers first hand that family skits at the holidays are still a thing, apparently! Jason admits he knows very little about sex things and is happy to keep it that way, thank you, Steve! The guys agree that it's easy to lie about fictional events if you just tell someone it's "based on a true story." Steve worries that he hasn't learned and retained a single useful th...

If you learn nothing else from Jason, please check your pizzas before you leave for home! Working in retail adds +5 to your empathy to those who would do similar customer service jobs! You should try it! Jason loves watching people work in a kitchen! It might be creepy! A large commercial fridge is a good place to let our your frustrations! Turns out, Hollywood doesn't lie about everything! Ja...

It's the most wonderful time of the year! It's CAVE STORY TIME! When it comes to crevasses, Steve wants you to be curious! The depth! The size! The breadth! It's full of potential! Jason's son thinks it would be cool to spelunk and see something cool, but Jason knows that it would NOT be cool! Jason wants his son to know that he could be bad at something, so he shouldn't try in...

When Steve is duped by AI with an improbable, crudely-amusing doo-wop ditty, Jason calls for an end to their podcasting relationship! Jason and his wife enjoyed a trip back to the 80's on a recent car trip and were jamming until an obviously AI-generated, soulless rock anthem snapped them from their huge-haired trance and made them kick their inept also-ran to the curb! Steve guarantees Jason...

Steve can't rid of the filth like his wife can, probably because she has more time to devote to such a disgusting chore! Jason can't leave a mess behind him anywhere and it upsets his family! Steve's son assumes the water leak on the bathroom floor is his dad's pee and Steve reckons the same about his son! Steve wants to finally have Jason over for dinner but Jason knows better!

Steve is putting together a home gym and already thinks he's a shoe-in for the World Warrior tournament! Hanging his own heavy bag nearly cost Steve a nipple! Jason has experienced... chafing, which is kinda the exact same thing! Steve thinks his purely aesthetic nipples are less urgent an issue than more functional ones from females! Jason's worst scar was so insignificant that it appears...

Steve and Jason think they should be more popular for their lack of shame! Steve laughs hysterically at conversations he and Jason might, but never have, had! Oh man, that could have been hilarious! Steve ruins egg drop soup for Jason! And maybe the ocean as well! The guys want to convince the manosphere that it's cool and alpha to jerk off in the ocean! Here's hoping Charles Barkley can h...

Time to add to the Jason Lore again! This time, we decide, once and for all, if Jason is, or has ever been, cucked! In response to denying temptation while in a relationship with Jason, fortune may smile upon you! Jason has celebrated his wife getting home from travel abroad multiple times since she returned, and he doesn't even care if guilt factors in! The guys try to define the word cuck bu...

Steve recently learned that not all internet conspiracies are reliable! Yay growth! Steve might have been in the gifted program that actually trained assassins, but he was too dim to realize it! Celebrities are not capable of actual friendship because they're robots. That's a bold claim that neither guy can back up! And since they determine they truly are friends, they're officially no...

Steve traveled to a region that has things like goatsitting and porch goats! Ever try to catch a runaway goat? Steve has tips to make your hunt a successful one! The guys believe that goats just want to be free... to stick their heads in random things! As a youth, Steve utilized strained puns to wow potential dates. Did you know that "goat" rhymes with "go"? It's very helpf...

Both Steve and Jason are still men who are convinced their pop culture-focused T-shirts are great conversation starters! Steve thinks dodging his way through a throng of old, naked men builds character! Jason was scared away from the gym thanks to a poorly-directed tour that led him through a veritable forest of man meat! Jason assumes, if he's naked, even if the door is locked and the blinds...

Jason's got a leaky attic and he and ONLY HE and his long legs can fix it (or at least sop up the remaining, moldy, rusty water)! Jason's wife certainly suggested that she expected him to miss dinner to soak up gallons of moldy attic water! Jason should probably learn more about his home so he doesn't lose all his money to problems he can't understand!

In the process of trying to rid his home of yet another lizard visitor, Jason got a little too close for comfort and uttered a sound his kids are still laughing about! Steve wants an AI solely to watch Jason's life through smart devices and drones so he can get a supercut of just the funny stuff! Steve wants all of America to play his new game show, "Scratchin' or Jackin'?" J...

Jason's health is questionable but he doesn't want his wife to know that and he thinks he does a good job of hiding it! Jason's doctor thinks his kidneys are fine, it's pretty much everything else that is the problem! Steve attempts to gaslight Jason on the proper physical procedure but if there's one thing he knows, it's balls! Jason had to provide a specimen and a tiny pe...

Steve attempted to appease an in-law with a relocation that just ended with her hating America more, which is SOOO 2025! Steve and his family surprised his parents with buying a new house nearer to them and yep, that's a bold move alright! Jason surprised his dad with a trip home for a major milestone birthday and even earned a parental curse word for his efforts! Steve has agreed to post card...

Jason is worried he slipped another multiverse or two when his best bud's dads make like Lazarus, but Steve assumes he just has no long-term memory! Jason takes his lukewarm fandom of Happy Gilmore 2 to vacation plan-bending extremes! Jason made it too far to settle for Ben Stiller and a determined Subway employee helped him hold true to that important tenant!

Steve has to travel and go through that whole riganmarole! Reaganmobile? Regardandole? Jason is an accidental narc, surprising no one (except those who assume he's an on-purpose one)! Both guys agree, traveling without your family is where it's at! Steve think the TSA is a bigger problem than ICE! Ok, Steve!

Jason bonded with his son, in their shared terror of tall things! Tiny metal doors are a bad way of preparing people for something potentially terrifying! Steve has always heard that St. Louis doesn't have a whole lot to look at and yeah, he's not totally wrong! Did you know flattened pennies are still a thing? It's true! Steve's son flagrantly tossed his undies in an attempt to im...

Steve's neighborhood loves contriving reasons to shoot off fireworks! He nearly threw down with a neighbor blaming him for an errant concussive blast! Jason scares easily and lashes out at who or whatever is nearby! He also doesn't get the appeal of live fireworks displays but will gladly watch from the safety of his car with his kids!

Jason's wife told him to buy a new iPad while she was on a business trip! He went to the Facebook Marketplace, because losing your kidney in a deal gone bad while you have the kids for the week is great parenting! He made the swap and even sweetened the possible murderer with an extra fiver! Afterwards, his kids got ice cream as he pondered his life choices!

Steve got a used kayak from a guy tangentially-related to the Seattle Mariners! Then he flailed like a Muppet in about a foot of water! Jason has had his slippery boat dockings, too! He might also be on the wrong Instagram, apparently! And both dads are excited to see their well-adjusted kids eat it, occasionally!

Steve's car has a ghost! And Jason doesn't know how they start in the first place! Steve says "foot-punching" like it's a normal thing! Jason loves when the service department yells at the mechanic department!

Jason saw so many adolescent dropkicks that expressed teenage angst and rebellion! Steve and his friends jumped out the back of a school bus with no warning! One is a narc, the other is cool, and get to decide which is which! WORDS ARE DUMB FIGHT ME WITH YOUR HANDS