Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Square Roots - Episode 329 Oh boy! We find a mysterious head and this leads to all sorts of new adventures. And we've got so many cops here on Square Roots; Vanessa is the good cop, Johnny is the silent / bad cop, Jim is the grey cop, and Matthew is the vape cop. In episode 2 and 3 of The Wolf Among Us we meet interesting people and there's a mystery to be solved. An adventure is unfolding, so why...

Square Roots - Episode 328 It's a low energy episode today because, frankly, it's just too hot here in the northern hemisphere. We can't wait for fall. But in the mean time let's go on some sweaty Toontown adventures! We explore The Wolf Among Us by Telltale Games and try to solve some crimes! Also: - Do Bob and Marduk kiss? - Stiffly Weird and the Case of the Missing Ghost - "It's Me, Blorko!" -...

Square Roots - Episode 327 Johnny knocked that Abortion minigame out of the park, and definitely wasn't stuck on it for twenty minutes on stream getting madder and madder. He won it the first time, Vanessa said he was the best boy at video games, Trudeau gave him a medal, and everyone clapped. Also: - Vanessa ReTruths the President - I Love the Teens - We All Have to See Mike Myers's Hog At Some P...

Square Roots - Episode 326 Our hosts seem to be warming to South Park just in time for alien testing, Nazi zombies, appealing to the Goth kids, and finding out the truth about Cartman! Is Cartman not actually as good a dude as he claims?? Find out as we complete Day 2! Also: - Combination Pizza Hut Taco Bells - Johnny is bad with controller mechanics, part 2 - Are bad tutorials a bit? - 2014 Funny...

Square Roots - Episode 325 You asked for it, you get it: this week your Square Roots pals start South Park: The Stick of Truth! And... some of us really like it? A lot? Especially one who you think wouldn't like it at all? Yeah, that one! Also: - Matthew Refuses to Go to a Used Game Store - No Matthew Life Spoilers - Recasting Taskmaster USA - Too Hot to Dance - Spork & Clork - Benny Hill Racist i...

Square Roots - Episode 324 Whoa! We finished Kingdom Hearts III forever! Does that mean everything in Mickey's Kingdom is happy forever? What about Xemnas?! What happened to Sora? So many questions. Also: - Bugs are a Natural Enemy for Toys - Toot toot? - Jim is a Slut for Powerwashing - It's just like that one Live song - FURRY! FORCE! FOUR! - Every Master Xenahort Voice Actor gets Norted - Ansem...

Square Roots - Episode 323 It's a divisive chunker of Square Roots this week: are the Pirates of the Caribbean and Big Hero 6 worlds good? Bad? A bit of both? We navigate carefully talking through the Pirates movies, try to figure out if the Big Hero 6 movie is a secret Disney classic, and note how Sora seems to be given busy work while literally everyone else is busy with actual plot stuff. Also:...

Square Roots - Episode 322 Oh boy! Johnny gets to experience Frozen in the best way possible: chopped up into Kingdom Hearts cut scenes. The gang heads through Frozen land AND the generic industrial corridors of Monsters, Inc. in a very PS2 style chunker of this Disney Slash Final Fantasy mashup. Also: - Up Yours, Woke Moralists! - Something Called the Unraveled  - Sora Amnesia Argument - Four Peo...

Square Roots - Episode 321 On this action packed slammer of an episode, the Square Roots Gang run through two very awesome game worlds: The Kingdom of Corona and Toy Box! That's right,  you'll get to relive the events of Tangled AND Toy Story. Also: - The Clussy Talk - A Jay Leno Looking Monster - Coat Corner - A Train Guy, But For Boats - Spaceman Bud and Rancher Wooly from Toy Time - Famous Toup...

Sadly this entire podcast crew is lost due to never having played Birth by Sleep. Except Jim, who did play it. But voters are never wrong! So we here at Square Roots are listening, and we're playing the very first chunker of Kingdom Hearts II! Also: - Megan Mullally's Charmed - Jim's Kingdom Hearts III Flip Flop - Uncontrollable Gummi Ship Related Shuddering - Why is Sora Flexing All The Time Now?...

Square Roots - Episode 319 HOLY CRAP WE FINISHED XENOGEARS! It's over. It's finally over. Also: - Space Cheese - Hot Nonsense Simulator - Person of Criminality and Island Time - I'm a Deus - A Real Girlfriend Mommy - A Lot of Green Goo Tubes - Using the Power of Love, and a Gundam - The God Children of Xenogears - Vanessa's Berenstain Universe Moment This Week: We finish the game! FINALLY! Next We...

Square Roots - Episode 318 See you later, boys! After you listen to this fantastic, svelte, economical episode of Square Roots! Gather around as we sit in chairs and JPEGs of stuff they didn't have time to make plays on a giant square behind us! Also: - Everyone's Playing Pirates - The Adventures of Fake Paul - I Keep Saying It's a Fountain Scenario! - Fei's Full Frontal - The Chair Oriented Porti...

Square Roots - Episode 317 Will we be learning about what the title of this episode means and how it applies to friend of the podcast, Matthew's coworker Paul? Maybe?! *wink* On this episode of Square Roots Johnny ponders quitting this game, which means it's Rogue Galaxy levels of frustrating. On the plus side they do get to visit a Space Mall, there's a ton of reveals, and... Soylent. Plus Solari...

Square Roots - Episode 316 Please excuse the error we had today where Jim's computer ate the level up and hot gaming news for this week! Fei stops waking up in prison and starts a global journey on sea, land and air in this wide scoped episode of Square Roots! Lots of robot fights, a couple of obnoxious dungeons, and so many Gavel Ministry meetings you might just get annoyed with Johnny's re-enact...

This week's Square Roots is sponsored by Manscaped, please use the promo code SQUAREROOTS at the checkout to receive your discount! Buried cities! Robot guns! People bullets! Reapers, or -Wels-! All this and more in today's Square Roots! We're heading towards the end of Disk 1, and things are just getting more dramatic. Will Fei get out of his Cloud coma? What's the nanomachine Terra all about? Ca...

Square Roots - Episode 314 This week's Square Roots is sponsored by Manscaped, please use the promo code SQUAREROOTS at the checkout to receive your discount! On this week's Tummy Talk, we get to the floating city of Thames, surprisingly while conscious. There we play lots of bullshit minigames, talk with the drunk citizens, rescue a little girl, and get into a whole lot of mech on mech grudge mat...

Square Roots - Episode 313 This week's Square Roots is sponsored by Manscaped, please use the promo code SQUAREROOTS at the checkout to receive your discount! This week on Square Roots we plunge deeper into the complex world of Xenogears! After waking up in prison, Fei finds himself knocked out, waking up in prison. After suffering a strange defeat in the prison battling system, he wakes up in pri...

Square Roots - Episode 312 This week's Square Roots is sponsored by Manscaped, please use the promo code SQUAREROOTS at the checkout to receive your discount! Johnny and Matthew are rewarded with their Xenogears diligence with some of the best Gundam style ship destruction in Square roots history! As Fei and Bart's attack on Aveh fails there's the kind of anime complication that Johnny loves. Also...

Square Roots - Episode 311 This week's Square Roots is sponsored by Manscaped, please use the promo code SQUAREROOTS at the checkout to receive your discount! It's a two-hander as Matthew and Johnny push some big boulders and make their way through the confusing caverns of Xenogears. LOVE the little teeny tiny map characters! LOATHE the terrible camera! LIVE the experience of taking half an hour t...

Square Roots - Episode 310 That's right! This week's Square Roots is sponsored by Manscaped, please use the promo code SQUAREROOTS at the checkout to receive your discount! We promise next week's commercial will be... more succinct. This week on Square Roots we dive into the space fantasy anime that is Xenogears. There's lots of religious imagery. Lots of swinging crosses. Accidental village melti...

Square Roots - Episode 309 Holy crow! We all finished Final Fantasy Tactics! Does this mean we're all pro gamers now? There was no Andraste or anything. Heck, Matthew and Johnny even got Cloud for some pointless reason, as well as War of the Lion's Balthier. Also: - Next Game Announced! - Monkey Ireland! - Blaidd Gaslights Johnny at the Taco Bell! - Letters Too Big To Read! - Surprisingly A Bad Hu...

Now that we're over the Wiegraf Hunt, it's full speed ahead plowing through the first half of Chapter Four of Final Fantasy Tactics. There's a whole lot of vampirism, oodles of bad guy cutaways, and adorable sprites spewing blood after being assassinated. Also: - Happy April Betrayals - Fred Baddecisions and Lady Realgamer - Ramza's Cakes - A Lot of Lucavi Talk - The Mask was the Killgrave of The...

Are you ready for the toughest boss fight in the game? Maybe the toughest boss fight in Square Roots history? Because we are, and friends, Belias The Giygas gets it. In this chunker of Final Fantasy Tactics we march towards Riovaynes Castle and somehow manage to pick up two new party members along the way? Will we use them? Probably not? Also: - When you possess something smaller than a human it w...

Uh oh. Pack the little ones off to bed, because we're a little spicy on this salacious episode of Square Roots: A Rashomon Podcast! So much happens in this chunker of Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions as we try to make sense of which million characters is important, defeat a demon with a mouth tummy, and so much more! Also: - Horny Columbo! - But there's also bunny MEN! - What Matt Does When...

Hooray! We're all back, and there definitely were no arguments edited out of this episode! Instead, we're playing the first chunker of Chapter 2: that's right: you get to find out all sorts of secrets about the Princess! You keep bumping into Delita for some reason! Ramza is a grown up now and he's mad! Also: - No arguments whatsoever! - Matthew denies the existence of both TMNT 2: The Arcade Game...