Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Square Roots - Episode 352 This may be our raunchiest episode in a while, so hide it from sensitive ears! On this chunker of Square Roots we go through some fun classic DLC in BioWare's Mass Effect 3 and reunite with Tali, unless of course you're BimJanks and Tali is Super Dead. Also: - English Sexy Talk - Aria Said F - Would You Dance To This Song? - Jim's Wild New Rules for Full Page Failure - A...

Square Roots - Episode 351 On this tragically romantic episode of Square Roots, Vanessa must choose - will she emotionally and physically bond with her snake boyfriend, or her himbo dummy human? PORQUE NO LOS DOS?! Also there's plenty of tough decisions on this Tchunker of BioWare's Mass Effect 3 like something about doing a genocide or not, or doing a different genocide or not, or watching fan fa...

Square Roots - Episode 350 Shepherd takes some selfie hints from the 21st century in this action-packed chunker of Mass Effect 3! There's meeting a 50,000 year old Protheon, hot gossip with the lady Krogan, and seeing Jack's clothing journey. Also: - Your Favourite Mary Kate & Ashley Songs - The Pegger - New Game Plus Elementary School - Her Two Big Front Mounted Processors - Ensign Pringles Saves...

Square Roots - Episode 347 Finally, on the second to last day of BioJanuWarey, we start Mass Effect 3! That's right. Shepherd, Wrex, Kaiden (or Ashley if you're a monster) and Doctor Chocolates are back in this action packed chunker.  Also: - Mister BAMF Himself - I Thought We Were Doing ME Tonight! - Just A Regular Butt - The Pros and Cons of Chocolate Fountains - Future Teen Slang - I... Want......

Square Roots - Episode 347 IT'S A LONGO! This week on Square Roots we get a little mixed up and forget about Gadolt for the first chunk of the quest log, but then remember that his plotline totally ended. We also remind you why Santa Claus turned into a Frost Gigas, remember how to pronounce Melia, and, oh yeah, totally finish Xenoblade Chronicles! Also: - How Do You Not Have The Song? - Outfits W...

Square Roots - Episode 347 Everything you want in a Square Roots episode happens today! It's more Xenoblade Chronicles and we're almost finished! There's really long dungeons! Someone not understanding where the chunker ends! Jim's Full Page Failure! Caution: staying past the end credits as the bonus clips get a little... blue. Also: - SCREE! Eyes emoji! Skeet skeet! - Does Comix Zone lick himself...

Square Roots - Episode 346 This week we start off with Jim's brand new trivia game: FULL PAGE FAILURE! After we get into this week's Quest Log where we get to finally, finally, walk on the blade of a giant sword! We also find a rare unfridging, find out more mysteries about Crosby Stills and Sass, and learn how to flirt by comparing a man to your missing boyfriend. Also: - Except for the Robot Din...

Happy New Year! The Squootses took this week off, so enjoy our resolutions for the year! Back to normal next week. Next Week: Defeat Sureny Telethia! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod F...

Square Roots - Episode 345 So many revelations this episode! A big beefy boi! Questionable allegiences! A mech made out of SOLID GOLD! This week on Square Roots we make our way out on the sword and possibly... to the other giant continental mech?! Also: - Carols for a Sick Friend - Vanessa the Boxing Day Gerenuk - Matt is a Dog Name - A Lady Mechon - Teeny Tiny Wings - A Real Kiera Knightley! This...

Square Roots - Episode 344 Everyone is preparing to go up hard against their daddy versions in this exciting, explosive, full of wild mass guessing episode of Square Roots! In this chunker of Xenoblade Chronicles, we kill a blobby dinosaur dragon, meet all of Riki's family, and go up to the fanciest castle in the land. Also: - Yeah, Klonoa! - All Himbos and Bimbos - Gooching - Scared of Tim Robbin...

Square Roots - Episode 343 Not only can you rescue a poofy in this week's chunker of Square Roots, but there's even a princess in peril AND a brand new Riku who is SO COOL. Also: - Vanessa Doubles Down on Making Babies Cry - That's How This One Came About, a new podcast! - Is Bishonen a Word? - Is the Elevator the Abs? - Clearly a Pube Swamp - Shulk and the Quest for the Four Glowies - Matthew's W...

Square Roots - Episode 342 Now we're really getting into the thick of this exciting trek through the Bionis in Square Roots's second episode of Xenoblade Chronicles. There's so much to cover, from hungry robots to the annoying plot device of a child constantly getting in trouble. But maybe we'll love it! Also: - Vanessa chooses a fursona - Pickle fights - At Christmas We Tell the Truth - A WAP Dum...

It's that time of the year! We took the week off from Xenoblabies but not from you, dear listeners! This week we rank all 51 games that we have played on the show! Who will be number 1? Who will be number 51? Listen to find out! 

Square Roots - Episode 341 Are you ready for a big, new Xeno adventure? I hope so. Welcome to a world of twinks and himbos, and midriffs exposed on EVERYONE. In this episode of Square Roots the gang is introduced to Shulk (short for She-Hulk), Reyn, and of course everyone's favourite character, Fiora! What's your levelling and equipment strategy for Fiora? What arts will she use?  Also: - Land Man...

Square Roots - Episode 340 Oh wow! It feels like we just started Live a Live, but now Live a Live is very finished. Did we all finish? Did anyone get the Armageddon ending? Did Johnny save his beefy boi? We deconstruct the very nature of JRPGs in this season of Square Roots's exciting conclusion! Also: - There's No Good Use for a Death Helmet - He's A Good Dad Now - Advanced Spacey - 2 Salty - Fis...

Square Roots - Episode 339 Is it an Akira? No, it's an Ultraman! Is it an Alien? Sort of, but it's also a 2001! On this futuristic episode of Square Roots we dive into the murky future awaiting all of us in Live a Live. Will it have Final Fantasy Behemoths and Akira Bike Gangs? Probably. Also: - Ferrero Rochers All The Way Through - If Riker Doesn't Have a Beard, This Episode Is Gonna Be Weird - I...

Square Roots - Episode 338 Greetings, humans! Welcome to a spookity, horrorish episode of Square Roots! In this dark chunker of Unalive Alive we play through the blood soaked hallways of Edo Japan, the bullet ridden sand of The Wild West, and punch and kick through the death sports of Present Day! Also: - Gotham Knight Cake Boycott - Bee Movie Horror - Johnny Definitely Follows Vanessa's Instructi...

Square Roots - Episode 337 This week on Square Roots we do, we promise, eventually talk about Live a Live's first two (chronological) chapters: Pre-History and Imperial China. And there's a lot to talk about! Recruiting beefy bois! Lady Gorillas! Even more fart humour! Also: - Liver Live - Matt Damon with a curtains haircut - What's Your Burger Style? - Loading Goes Boop! - Sassy Caveman Hair Flip...

Square Roots - Episode 336 There's a whole lot of arguing about what time rules Okami uses - is it Looper rules? Back to the Future rules? Lost rules? That aside, we finally finish the ice palace, the boss rush, the clockwork owls - and complete another game! Also: - Perfectly framed webcam - Metaverse finally shows feet - We're just not that into vampires - Folding at home - Vanessa's Out Back -...

Square Roots - Episode 335 Okay, okay - we said we were going to finish the game this week but Johnny got sick so he couldn't play that much, but we promise that we'll finish next week. For realsies! Okay, so this chunker we mostly concentrate on solving some mysteries and finally reaching the elusive Oni Island! Also: - Suck it, Troy Baker! - Deborah Space - Vanessa's Head Canon Corner - Square R...

Square Roots - Episode 334 It's the story of a podcast named Square Roots! Which was bringing up four twenty somethings of its own! Some of them have hair of none, just like their fathers, and they were all alone! Also we're playing more of Okami in this penultimate episode, fight some bosses, uncover some crimes, meet some fish, do some sidequests, and play far too much of a terrible bullshuit mi...

  Square Roots - Episode 333 Welcome to the erotic thrills of the most sensuous of late night syndicated TV shows, Square Roots Presents: The Bone Diaries. We haven't cast it yet but I assume it will have David Duchovny. But also! We play Okami and defeat the big boss, Orochi. But wait... why does the game keep going? Also: - The Hacking Police Uniform - Minnie Mouse Is A Menace - The British Are...

Square Roots - Episode 332 It's an episode with a... fluctuating cast, but we don't let that experience this downright canine chunker! There's dog fights (but the good kind), a fire cow, a soft boi bird boi, landscape puzzles and so much more!  Also: - Vanessa, Mother To Us All - A Week of Almost Too Hot Amounts of Gaming News - Movie Open Source - Thick Zangief - Johnny's Worst Mila Kunis Pun - S...

Square Roots - Episode 331 Vanessa might hit peak sassy in this episode, and that's great. This chunker encompasses a heck of a lot, even if some might think it just involved walking down a hill. There's the peach lady, the orange guy, a boar balancing on a bomb, a bear balancing on a crystal, a little bug guy, a missing dog, and Johnny making the same game mistake three times over 17 years. Also:...

Square Roots - Episode 330 Mysteries are solved, like who killed Faith and Lilly - but other mysteries go on. The Wolf Among Us ends on a satisfyingly ambiguous note - but did we enjoy the game overall? Or were we too railroaded into decisions and situations? Listen and find out! Also: - A Little Thrusting Music - The G Stands for Great - Vanessa Can Cancel Any Man - Tell Me More About These Sex I...