Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

So... it turns out that Johnny was the only one really up for recording this week. Instead of doing a one hander, Johnny and Vanessa hang out and do a quick Hot Gaming News spectacular! This Week: ... Next Week:  We "rescue" the "princess" from Golgollada Gallows! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twit...

Alright! We're now onto Matthew's Official Favourite Game of All Time: Final Fantasy Tactics! We're playing War of the Lions, but you can play whatever version you like, depending on if you like your translations Classic or Extra Spicy. There's plenty of talk about classes, class, and classiness this week! Also: - Not Every Moustached Man is Brian David Gilbert - Hugh Can Dance - Matthew's Pleasan...

We wrap up Dragon Age 2 with a surprise: everyone finished the game! It's a BioWarey miracle! But who lived? Who died? What was this week's Hot Gaming News anyway? Also: - Walter Goblins - Miss McPoogle - Awkward Kissing Angles - Some Language Infomercial I've Never Heard Of - My Dock Is Dry, Baby - Vanessa's Confusing Contest This Week: We finish Dragon Age 2! Next Week:  Defeating Milleuda (For...

Uh oh! Jim's in the dog house after a computer related episode eating. But we truck on with Episode 302: The Revenge! In it we look at the DLC for BioWare's Dragon Age 2. Also: - Top Bottoms of the Tower - Larry's Pandemic Haircut - Janica's Blue Warden Team Makes it to Regionals - Reacher's Floppy Hog - Another thing Johnny pronounces wrong - Beefy Boy Fountain This Week: We finish the Felicia Da...

One mage with a challenge: lose it! One crazy week to make his sexy dream a reality. That's the 1980s sex comedy that is one part of one quest today as we cover the beginning of Act III in Dragon Age 2. Also: - BioWare's Ominous Tilty Cam - A 3D Puzzle Made of Meat - Johnny Joins the PC Police - A brief appearance by Carol Channing - Far too much Hot Gaming News This Week: We complete the Act 3 Co...

THREE HUNDO EPISODES! Even though Jim is still on location this episode is chockablock with Jim related Sqaure Roots Trivia to celebrate this arbitrary milestone! In this episode Hawke's mom gets a new look, you take a quick trip to the Fade, Fenris the Wooby touches peoples hearts, and so much more! Also: - Vanessa's Star Fox Shipping and Anthro Mating Rules - Mother Loves Mister Castle - Feynrie...

In this chunker of BioWare's Dragon Age II we start with a heartfelt apology to Sweden. We promise to never again mention The Normal Chef. It's a two hander with Johnny trying his best to host as they tackle Varric's Tale. Also: - The Hottest Hot Gaming News in a Decade - Gum Songs - Everyone's a Celebrity in England - Aveline's Dating Skills - Eluvian Repair Kits - A Lot Of Stuff Happening, Also...

Jim and Vanessa talk to Dragon Age II's executive producer, Mark Darrah on the creation of Dragon Age II as well as the state of the industry. Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https://twitter.com/BeigeOnBeige and https://www.youtube.com/user/morrissteven Contact Square Roots! Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook...

Get Deep Roads deep into Dragon Age II with us in this spelunking episode of Square Roots! We recruit Isabella, don't recruit the Qunari mage, and at least for one of us a party member dies! Also: - I want sonic to help me put on underwear - Vanessa's Felicia Day Beef and Felicia DayLC - A 10 Minute Cullen Chat - Croissandra With A Side of Sour Cream - A man with some kind of gutters - It Was Sass...

Everyone is here for the start of Dragon Age II, a game that is still widely available to play but figuring out how to get the DLC to work takes some doing. Still, has BioWare's divisive installment of Dragon Age improved with time? Or are its limits still as frustrating as ever? Who is Ted Donker? Find out the answers to these and much more on this week's Square Roots! Also:  - Maybe Too Much Hot...

Hi! COVID wrecked our efforts to put out a Dragon Age II episode this week, but we do have a very special end of the year episode for you all to enjoy instead! This Week: We celebrate the end of 2021! Next Week: We recruit all five extra party members in Dragon Age II! Our Patreon: http://patreon.com/squarerootspodcast Thanks to Steven Morris for his awesome new theme! You can find him at: https:/...

NOW WITH 90% LESS CHIPMUNK VOICES! You probably saw this one coming: it's a two hander! Johnny and Matthew dig through the second disc of Metal Gear Solid, with Johnny finding it brisk and fun and poor Matthew feeling like it takes forever. But you've got some iconic boss fights, weird jokes, and completely reconstructed cut scenes between the original PlayStation version and the GameCube Twin Sna...

Sure, it's not an RPG, but Konami's Metal Gear Solid IS a classic. And on this special holiday season of Square Roots we venture with Snake to Alaska, pretty close to where Santa lives. We try to make sense of the metal gear lore, talk about neuropeptides like we know what they mean, and Vanessa writes in an analysis of Meryl's big acting scene. Also this week: - Trashing the PS Classic - Twin Sna...

For some reason Tales of Vesperia decides to squeeze about twenty hours of content into five hours of game, meaning there's a lot of reveals, narrative shifts, insane twists, and the most homoerotic wrestling match ever. But will Yuri and pals save the world? Is there really a final Necron? Who is the actual Sephiroth of the game? Also this week: - Can you vore a ghost? - Noted floppy haired boy B...

Oops! It's all Sephiroths when we try to figure out just who will be the big bad of this chunker. Will it be the white haired Sephiroth with the magical sword? Or the other white haired Sephiroth with a magical sword? Or will it be that one guy who looks like Ginger Spice? There's some apocalyptic action as we dive through this penultimate chunker! Also this week: Johnny & Vanessa Breakout Episode...

Alright, let's start off by saying I'm sorry for derailing this episode with increasingly cursed and horny acrostics. I made a mistake, and I'm sorry. Please put your little ones to bed before playing this episode. Also, things start getting dramatic on this spicy talkthrough of Namco's Tales of Vesperia. Betrayal! Twists! A bad guy is revealed! Also this week: - Estelle's Hamster Ball - Zap! It's...

Will Yuri's trail of murder ever end? With an additional body count of two it doesn't seem to be stopping. Do we like his dark turn? Will Estelle stop murdering magical creatures? Will Karol stop complaining? (Jk jk we love Karol) Find out on this big ol' episode! Also this week: - Repede is my Hat Now - Pigeon Milk - Yuri's Hate Crimes - Don Whitehorse's Failson - A Reverse Whale Argument This We...

It's a rare Johnnyless episode as Vanessa, Jim and Matthew tackle this darker middle chapter of Tales of Vesperia. Yuri takes a dark turn, you learn even more about the guilds and the gang stars a whole new one - Brave Vesperia! Also this week: - Yet Another Ghost Ship - You Don't Marry a Magician - Punisher Yuri - Where's the Body? - KAROL SEDUCES A GUARD - Is Jim a Bootlicker? This Week: We get...

Things happen this episode. Vast political movements. Intriegue. Subterfuge. Swapped letters. And we have a tenuous grasp of all of it as Tales of Vesperia's plot starts to really get going. I mean, we're still not even sure how to pronounce "Ragou". Also this week: - Dump Cake - Vanessa's Shocking Level Up - Too Many Sephiroths - Johnny is Distracted By A Broad Chest - No One Wants To Hold Out Fo...

Let's just get this out of the way: we can't sing Yakety Sax. No matter who tries, we're just terrible at it. I'm not sure why this is an important part of this episode of Square Roots or what it has to do with Namco's Tales of Vesperia, but that's just the way it is. Also this week: - Inn-teresting - Talkin' About Blastia - The automaton's giant stone wiener - A sudden Matthew appearance - That's...

It's Halloween down at the Square Roots house, so we're playing the spooooooky classic JRPG, or Jerpig, Namco's Tales of Vesperia! It's like a cozy comfy blanket of JRPG comfort food, and we enjoy it. So when we're not debating Yuri's hair colour, we guide the party from a splurging fountain to a magical tree town that does NOT explode. Also this week: - Catchphrases - The Great Pumpkin Deposition...

This week on Square Roots we blaze through the ending of the main questline like a dragon spewing fire! So much blazing! We defeat Alduin, and then things are... happy? Maybe? Also Grunk, Rimjob and Presto get Animal House end title cards. What would Gojira's end title card be? Consumed by Alduin? Also this week: - What Happens When We Don't Heckle Jim - A Spooky Fair - Click Click Blam - Guest Ho...

Oh shit! Square Roots has a beach episode! But, sadly, it's the kind of beach episode where all your favourites go on vacation! That's right: you got RimJob becoming a werewolf, Presto Kazaam meets up with her past self, and Johnny becomes a real Prince of Thieves. Also this week: - Delita is a Fvckboy - Regretting Just Playing Dragonball - Vanessa Murders Her First Wife - "He IS the Daedric Princ...

We're gonna be honest here: this is either going to be a really long chunker for you or a really short chunker depending on whether or not you choose a side or choose that delicious, delicious third option. But you wouldn't skip all these questlines that Bethesda worked so hard on, would you? Also this week: - Muscle Garfield - Alduin, World Tooter - Vanessa's Letter to Bethesda - Why Boys Not Hot...

Oh boy! It's time for further adventures of mural exposition, with Joan Allen calling Max Von Sidow a big nerd for caring about second age tryptarchs. On this chunker of Bethesda's Skyrim we need to get our hands on one of those fancy Elder Scrolls. But how?! By talking to a sexy Orc librarian, heading down to a magical mushroom kingdom, solving a spinny puzzle, and so much more! Also this week: -...