Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

It's an all new Square Roots Vs. episode! This time we're joined by Matt Chandronait of the Rebel FM podcast! Get ready for a spoooooooky halloween special as we cover Sweet Home, a NES era JRPG that also happens to be the FIRST survival horror game! Created by Tokuro Fujiwara of Resident Evil fame it's a surprisingly great game! We also talk about Matt's history with the RPG and survival horror g...

Legal sparks fly as Jim presides over the case of all cases: is Sin a whale? With Matthew on the con corner and Vanessa defending her thesis all rules are out the window... except THE RULE OF LAW. Also this week: Can Sin melt steel beams? Are Summoners just visiting gyms collecting Pokemon? Are Dona and Barthello really banging? Do tubby bald men with no beards look like giant babies? Is Tidus unf...

So. Much. World. Building. From a minigame involving blowing away insults from your father so you can learn a special trick to our first full game of Blitzball it seems like Final Fantasy X is concentrating on everything but the usual JRPG fare. Other topics include: evil ski teams, Dona's outfit, heresy, Jecht's salary and reality show, Suzanne Vega, religious sports sponsorship, Blitzball team n...

Our first Final Fantasy X episode! Matthew, John, Jim and professional whaler Vanessa dive into the crystal clear waters of Spira. We start with memories of our first experiences with the Final Fantasy X and move on to the Quest Log to discuss the physiognomy of skeleton fish, Tidus's imaginary pen, creepy ghost kids, Phantasy Star girls, the special properties of Spira's water, convenient sin fog...

Nadia Oxford of Tiny Girl Tiny Games, USGamer and Axe of the Blood God joins us as we explore the finale of Secret of Mana! Jim and Matthew have a beach episode, we debate the naming of the vampire Buffy, whether or not Dyluck killed himself, if we killed the Mana Beast, Sexy Grandma giving life advice to Phanna, and so much more. Also: Nadia answers our Secret of Mana questions, putting to rest w...

What really is the Secret of Mana? Is Vanessa going to be a regular cohost? What's the deal with airline food? Do you want to play Vanessa's new game, Undiscovered Honor: Todd? Jim assumes that Flammie can talk, we compare the third act of Secret of Mana to Final Fantasy IX, we look back at gaming memories, talk about Indio, the exile of our secret former host, and so much more! Twitter: @squarero...

As we venture towards the end of the game and play through the Grand Palace and the Pure Lands Square Roots may be experiencing a form of Mana fatigue. A terrifying child joins us as we blow up some crystals, turtle dudes turn into hot rods, we debate the gender of Fanha, MECH RIDER 3, Matthew and Vanessa sing some Hamilton, we do a six-boss boss rush, Jim delights in the destruction of the mana t...

Ho. Lee. Crap. People. It's excitement, adventure, and Matthew almost rage quitting, all on this all-new part 9 of our playthrough of Secret of Mana!  This week in Square Roots we near the end of the adventure by leaving the Moon Palace, traveling to Tasnica and the Cave of Courage, then clearing out the Mana Palace and Underground City! Also this week: John's sick and a secret shorto! Matthew ban...

There's some vampire talk, Jim says lots of H names, Vanessa sings an amazing Quest Log song, and we finally have the gift of Flammie Flight! We head out to Turtle Island, then hit up the Lofty Mountains, we visit the Galt's Gulch that is Turtle Island. We find out some mind-blowing secrets about the prehistory of the world of Mana, the frustration of palette-swapped enemies, George Lucas discover...

We get shot out of a cannon into the heart of the Empire, where we get our sneaky spying on, go through an absurdly spacious sewer, get totally Lando'd, and get our revenge of the Mech Rider! Other topics covered include John's Juggalo intervention, the surprisingly nice Empire, crazy hoarder Mara's mysterious box, our Matthew gets broken, the disappointing Tiger Bikini, child luring, the Phanna d...

We head out to the land of jerk wolves and cute Walrus people, teenage John groans at meeting Rudolph the Red Nosed Raendeer, crash a real-estate resort scheme, that one episode where GI Joe was a bunch of jerks to Cobra, the Mana team as a anarchist-communist instrument of change, John's girl problem, getting assaulted by three Denvers the Sex Vore Dinosaurs, many crickets, 16-bit ho-ho-ho's, is...

This week we tackle a much-maligned JRPG from 1990: Super Hydlide. Is it as terrible as its reputation suggests? Johnny and Jim are joined by Caleb to see just how many times villagers can force us to starve to death, find out that our wallet is just too damn heavy, get stuck behind some friendly slimes at the self-checkout, starve to death some more, be too stupid to read the engravings on a tomb...

Hello again! This is a fun little one off bloopers/cutting room floor episode of material i cut out of episode 21. It's mostly suicide squad talk and gross jokes. Suicide Squad spoilers abound!!!  Let us know if you'd like to see more of these going forward, there is always plenty of stuff that gets cut from the final mix! 

This week on Square Roots we can't agree on Shovel Knight, Suicide Squad, Hamilton, or pretty much anything. We discuss getting seeded, grinding Secret of Mana the iOS / SNES Gontma translation error, a new idea of the true Secret of Mana, the comfort of straw beds, a few more zorbs, nonsensical rating systems, Girl versus the Patriarchy, and far, far, far too many cat puns. We play from the Sprit...

It's that time again (for the first time)! Our August mailbag episode is here with special guest Julian Titus of the Nerds Without Pants podcast!  Listen to Matt, Jim, Vanessa and Julian answer all your questions! Or try to answer them at least!  Find Julian on twitter @julian_titus and the Nerds Without Pants podcast @NWPCast, episodes on iTunes and everywhere else!  Thanks for listening! Kisses!...

We learn the true secret of the manaboys in today's all new episode of Square Roots! We cannon travel to the northern lands where the seasons constantly change and fight all manner of critters. The Moogle village revealed, Spirte's memory loss scam, Luca's evil scheme, Watt's the roadie, Jema the Dude and Spring Beak! We also hear a terrible joke from John, Jim HATES the word Manaboy and we get a...

Stan from the They See Me Rolling returns to guide Matthew, Jim, and Vanessa through the exciting conclusion of the two-part Final Fantasy themed Fate game!  Guided by Celes, the mash-em-up team of Zidane, Cid, and Lulu set out to track down their vanished friend, Sephiroth.  Faced with the most horrifying gathering on Midgar, will our heroes be able to reach Sephiroth before it's too late?  Will...

We put Horny Grandma and Macho Man Jimmy Savage to bed, possibly together and then push on through Luka's special cave surprise! We get totally destroyed by Denver the Last Dinosaur, who isn't your friend and is into vore, Jimmy experiences N-U-I, Boy's lack of magic gifts, Sprite's villainity, Gaia's Navel's music versus hangovers, Gnome's use of the third person, Girl's slight Dyluck obsession,...

Stan from They See Me Rolling joins Matthew, Jim and Vanessa in this special two-part role playing spectacular! In this roleplaying mash-em-up they play the pen and paper RPG Fate as their favorite Final Fantasy characters: Matthew as Zidane from Final Fantasy 9, Jim as Cid Highwind from Final Fantasy 7, and Vanessa tackles Lulu from Final Fantasy 10! This disparate gang is brought together by the...

We start off with far too much Sexy Grandma, the Boy gets some optional aid to get out of some.... hot water! Huh? Yeah. Girl gets her rescue on, the notorious price gouger Neko, some classic Final Fantasy dwarves, Vanessa's favorite character lets a child drown, your new pal the Sprite totally cons you, Pineapple Rayman, we get moogled, theories of Dyluck and Girl's relationship, Elinee's possibl...

We attempt our first in a... well,  possible series of looking at terrible RPGs with the baffling, barely translated, Super Ninja Boy. This early SNES JRPG takes some great ideas and combines them with inscrutible translation, laggy controls, and the highest random encounter ratio of any game we've ever played. We're joined from the Comrade Radio Boss Malcolm Nygard for this exercise in self-harm....

Yay! It's finally time to uncover the Secret of Mana! Secrets we learn today: John's latent sexism, Vanessa's operating thetan levels, chubby haired kids, John accidentally creates a new sexy Grandma character, the anatomy of the rabites, Jema's tough love teaching techniques, Vanessa's crush on Dyluck, why there are a few issues with the goblins, and so, so much more! Next time: we will play thro...

Did Vivi die? Is Kuja also dead, or running a school for Effeminate Boys? Is Quina Shrek? What was the deal with the crystals that Kuja was stealing? What the heck happened with Necron? Do all kids pretty much look alike? So many questions. And so many answers, with Rob and Vanessa (AKA Nessa, AKA Ness, AKA Nuh) on board to help sort us out.   Twitter: @squarerootspod Facebook:  https://www.facebo...

Holy crap! Final Fantasy IX is over! It's so over! Was mixing the Zidanians and the Black Mages a bad idea or a terrible idea? Chekov's colored swimming pool; Garnet's real name; the right of a well-regulated Quina militia; Ghost Space Dad; Carl Death Sr.; OUR FIRST DRAMATIC RECREATION AT THE CELLPHONE HOSPITAL; tempers flare as we try to make sense of what Kuja did; we try to figure out Fart Scar...

Jim, Matthew and John grumble about the character pairing at the shrines in Disc 4 and wonder why you can't just play the actual battles. They also spend a weird amount of time discussing whether or not Zidane's junk has been visible the entire game, Garnet's moon color, George Lucas impressions, Zidane being a jerk to everyone, Bronies, throwing a tent at bosses and how Tantalus makes no sense. T...