Somebody Save Me: The Official, but MOSTLY Unofficial, Smallville Podcast

Smallville Presents: Kal-El and the Kryptonian Blokes Who would've thought three weeks could change so much? Clark is finally completing his training from Jor-El, but gets stalled by Lois returning from the future with a female assassin, a.k.a. Future Babe. Zod is finally here, in the flesh, and he's been beating up Tess non-stop with his Kryptonian posse. Lois meets a new reporter. Oliver...

Blood for Blood! Time for another round of Film Friday, but this time we step away from the wushu and instead immerse ourselves into The Fog at Antonio Bay. Join us in the review of the remake of John Carpenter's The Fog (1980) starring Tom Welling, Maggie Grace and Selma Blair. Is the movie worth watching? No. Do we have fun? Also no. But hey, are we the Two Nerdy Idiots? YOU BET YOUR ASS! To...

T.N.I. presents: The 8th Season's Final Breath Almost done, but not before we give the most demanded episode of each season: The Award Show. Plenty of fan nominations, a few new and fun categories, and some nice veto streaks. Thank you to the fans for another crazy season and, as always, enjoy the eighth part of our hilarious tradition.

R.I.P. Henry James Olsen, the Jimmy that never mattered. Doomsday is upon Clark, and apparently everyone in the future as well (shout out those losers in Legion). Clark wants to continue his BEST plan by splitting Davis/Doomsday, but Oliver and the Super Idiots keep telling Clark to murder Davis instead. Meanwhile, we are at the end of the Dark Chloe Saga but not before she takes Davis out on a da...

The Injustice League, a.k.a. Tess Mercer's Groupies After many episodes of recruiting, Tess finally gives her meteor freak team some time to shine: hunt down and kill Doomsday. "Chloe" reappears and tells Clark he needs to kill Davis, which Oliver also agrees with (typical). Clark comes up with the best plan to stop Davis/Doomsday but needs Oliver's help, which Ollie takes as &qu...

The Dark Chloe Saga continues... Clark finds evidence that Davis is alive, so Chloe lies to Clark and tells him to go to Alaska. While Chloe continues to keep Davis in her basement, she goes to Dr. Emil Hamilton for some type of Doomsday cure. Jimmy has the nerve to ask Oliver for some "popping pills" money. We find out Davis has been sniffing Chloe's hair. Clark comes up with the be...

Stripperella: The Smallville Edition Lois gets in a little over her head by becoming a made-up vigilante named "Stiletto" in order to write a front page story. Clark contemplates confiding in Lois as his superhero persona. Chloe chooses to keep Davis in the Talon basement as her murderous, alien, sex puppet. Jimmy finally returns, but this time as the new bartender at the Ace of Clubs in...

Smallville Stories for Children: The Last Son of Veritas The whispers of Veritas have returned as Tess finds the long lost diary of the late Lionel Luthor. Apparently, Davis also crashed down in 1989 with Clark, but as a piece of space poop that befriended Lex for five days. Everyone finally finds out Davis is a serial killer thanks to Jimmy. Tess attempts to kill him, Clark yells at Chloe for hou...

!SKCUS GNI***F EOLHC Chloe is on the brink of divorce, so why not throw a last-minute birthday party and not invite your husband? Zatanna (O M G) shows up and grants Chloe one wish. Wishing for love back? Yeah right, Chloe wishes to be Lois! Now deemed "Chlois", she has to get help from Clark in order for Zatanna to reverse the spell. Too bad Clark accidentally wishes to not have any wor...

THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN! (Tess included) Jimmy, who is still in recovery mode, witnesses Davis committing a murder at the hospital. Davis claims he is hallucinating because Jimmy is secretly a drug addict. Chloe doesn't believe her own husband, which makes Jimmy take matters into his own hands. Tess invites Clark on a private jet so she can crash it on purpose, but not before she trauma dump...

Hydro, Pt. II: Super Soaked An INFAMOUS season six villain is back, and we're not talking about Linda Lake. Megan, a.k.a. The Nurse/The Wife, returns as our guest co-host...and gets us drunk. Linda Lake returns to Metropolis to threaten Clark with exposing his true identity to the world. Clark decides to take control and have Lois leak the story first (he's high out of his mind), but thing...

The Dark Lana Saga finally comes to an end... THANK GOD! Everyone's "favorite" power couple is back after Lana got her super skin last week. While Clark just wants to have sex all day in his parents' old bed, Lana is only interested in "saving people", a.k.a. hunting down Lex. Toyman shows up and kills the entire board of directors at LuthorCorp. Oliver guilt trips Chloe into finding Lex in order...

Lana, where's my super [skin] suit?! The Ultimate Dark Lana saga continues. Lana decides that the world is much better off if she had super powers, so she hires Dr. Groll to burn her alive. Clark finds out Chloe also lies for her other friends (not just him). Tess bonds with Clark over B&E. Lana and Tess are somehow best friends now. Where the f*** are Jimmy and Lois?

Law & Order: Smallville Victims Unit Detective John Jones makes his return only to get shot, while on duty, in the first five minutes. After Clark finds out it was an inside job he decides to go undercover as a cop named Joe Fordman (Top 10) in order to find the culprit. Meanwhile, Lana is still here, back as the lead terrorist, and now fighting with Tess about Lex and the famous art of Wushu. Phi...

31st Century's very own idiots! The second half of season eight begins, so that means we tank the story right? A group of aliens come from the future to stroke Clark’s massive ego, and to prevent another Brainiac resurrection by killing Chloe. They also decide to tell Lana she’s historically important (forgot she’s still here). Clark just wants to beat up these futuristic idiots and get his best f...

Smallville Presents: The Bride of Doomsday Wedding bells are ringing for Chloe and Jimmy. Davis is actually Doomsday and becomes a murderous wedding crasher. Clark and Lois experience a cute moment. Oliver ruins everything by teaming up with Lana, a.k.a. the devil. #RIPGayColin Sam Witwer ( Star Wars: The Clone Wars ) makes his official appearance as DC Comics original character Doomsday. Kristen...

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: The Chloe Edition Brainiac makes a surprise return as the true man that's been inside of Chloe (no, seriously) the past year. But now, he's causing her to lose her all of memories rapidly. Jimmy can't deal with another amnesia blondie, so he turns to Clark for help who then goes to Big Daddy Jor-El (LFG!). While Chloe tries to remain calm, she eventually can...

The Return of Kara...and her amnesia? Clark takes a nice trip with Lois to the Phantom Zone and finds Kara there with some new dreads. While attempting to get back, the femdom wife of Zod takes over Lois' body in order to find her son...DAVIS?! Meanwhile, Tess continues to be annoying and Chloe uses Oliver just to steal and push him around.

Freak of the Week presents: Mind-F**k! Jimmy finally figures out who Clark is after snapping a picture of a red-blue blur (wink, wink fans) saving Lois from a mugger. All Jimmy wants is to be C.K.'s BFF and fellow confidant. Too bad Clark will do anything and everything possible to lie to Jimmy, so he brings in Oliver, a current alcoholic/sex addict, to do the same plan they did back in Hydro...

R.I.P. Mary - May Santa bring you the right toy now A serial killer is on the loose after a string of related attacks happen within Metropolis. With the help of the not-so-mighty Detective Jon Jones, Clark investigates Davis after noticing that he's been at every crime scene. Davis keeps blacking out and thinks he actually might be the killer, but accuses Clark instead. Jimmy just wants to rid...

Welcome to the Love Doctor's "Shock of Love" Chloe and Jimmy are kidnapped after their engagement party and get put into a twisted game that tests their love for each other. The Love Doctor asks them a few dumb questions, then lets them go (not kidding). Before Clark and Lois realize they're safe, they end up caught in the game themselves after masquerading as a couple around tow...

Now Presenting: Basic Instinct (Smallville Edition) All because Tess doesn't know what she's doing, a queen named Maxima shows up to Metropolis looking for a Kryptonian husband. No mortal man can survive her kiss, so Clark has to take one for the team on this one. Jimmy finds Chloe's love letter to Clark from season two episode "Fever" (she so did it on purpose). Lois shows her first sign of jealo...

R.I.P. Megan - The best friend nobody wanted. What's a good superhero show without a SUPER retcon? Oliver is back in town and gets poisoned by someone from his past. Chloe uses her new Brainiac skills, and her E.R. Lover Davis, to track down an antidote. Clark finds out that Tess and Oliver know each other from their Jungle Freak-Off days, and is the only one that knows of this rare poison. Me...

What happens when a street rat blows up a bus? It's Clark's first day at the Daily Planet and he manages to save the new boss, Tess Mercer, after a bus explodes in the city. Lois starts showing Clark the ropes in a very adorable way. Chloe begins a new paramedic love affair while also taking in a random girl named Bette who just so happens to be a meteor freak. Jessica Parker Kennedy ( Black Sails...

This is dedicated to Texas, Louisiana swamps and Mother Russia! It's been four long weeks since the collapse of Clark's fortress. Here's what's happening: Clark has been slanging black market seafood in a Russian work camp. Oliver, AC and Dinah fight to reunite with their Boy Scout. Chloe has new powers and is loving it. Lois is now ten times hotter. LuthorCorp's new CEO arrive...