Somebody Save Me: The Official, but MOSTLY Unofficial, Smallville Podcast

The South Boston Mall sucks. We cap off our Friday Film streak with a terrible Christmas TV movie starring the WONDERFUL Laura Vandervoort, a.k.a. Kara Zor-El. Hop on this sleigh ride to get your sexy Santa at your local shopping mall. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

HEY BUDDY, EYES UP HERE! In celebration of crossing over 200 episodes, we give you our very own Two Nerdy Idiots review of James Gunn's Superman . Another reason is that Taylor is really wanting to avoid starting season ten LOL. A huge thank you to our Emmy award-winner, JR a.k.a. OG Peace, for returning to make this special event a reality. An even BIGGER thank you to all of our fans for all...

FIIIILLLMMMM FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Thought you were getting Smallville ? Yeah right. It's time to give Erica Durance some screen time! Please join us in the best review of this terrible sequel and laugh with us on its downfall. Is it good? No. Is it bad? Absolutely. Are we having fun? OHH YESSSSS. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

The infamous 9th season has OFFICIALLY ended The Two Nerdy Idiots continue the tradition of the end-of-season award show, with most of the same categories and some new ones. We give thanks and huge shout outs this week to our fans who continue to participate and make the show so fun. Also, Taylor decided to become a dictator this time around, but no worries because he can't pronounce "telepathy"!...

Farewell General Zod, you were quite the idiot! Clark now has the Book of Rao, but only to find out it will teleport every Kryptonian to their "paradise" world to start fresh. Since that includes Clark, he decides to lead his people to their new lives and has to say goodbye to his loved ones. Chloe gets pissed, Oliver doesn't care, and Lois gets told she needs to pick Africa over lov...

Perry Pt. II: I'm Banging Clark's Mom The farm gets a surprise visit from Martha Kent while Clark and Lois are figuring out their "break-up" and unemployment situation. On top of that, Martha brings Perry White and Lois couldn't be more excited to work with a legend on their hot new story: The Red Queen. Maxwell Lord returns and kidnaps Tess in order to track down the Book of...

Smallville Presents: Lockdown, Pt. II Chloe and Tess, a.k.a. the twins, get locked inside of Watchtower together (mmm, kinky). Stuart is back as a completely different character who now works for Checkmate. Zod continues to betray his own people by abandoning them. Clark tries to help a pregnant Faora, but Checkmate gets in the way. Oliver gets a sick new chest tattoo, courtesy of Zod. Pam Grier (...

Clark Kent v The Blur: Who does Lois love more? Lois and Clark get their jobs pitted against one another by the Daily Planet's new editor-in-chief. Ex-D.A. Ray the NutSacks is out of prison and ready for his revenge on Lois and The Blur. Chloe, a.k.a. Watchtower, is practically useless nowadays. Lois basically admits that The Blur is more important than her boyfriend. Checkmate makes a return...

Metallo, Pt. II: Clark & Zod Forever <3 Thanks to Tess, John Corben is back and with a new upgrade: The Nice Guy Enhancer. Chloe tracks down Tess' lab for Clark, but little do they know that it's filled with red Kryptonite. Once Clark, or our favorite "Kal", is infected he falls in love with Zod because of his superpowers and takes him to the fortress to meet daddy. Meanwh...

THIS IS THE WORST GAME OF CHESS ANYONE'S EVER SEEN! Checkmate is back, with Amanda Waller, and guess who they want? CHLOE, a.k.a. Watchtower! Clark is apparently super selfish for not checking in with Chloe on his every move. Somehow Tess just now finds out that Oliver is Green Arrow. Detective John Jones is being sketchy. Checkmate kidnaps Chloe, so Clark has to break some legs. Oh, and no Lo...

Couples Retreat: The Smallville Edition The Nurse and her sister join us as special guest hosts for this romantic couples getaway! Clark finds some time to plan a romantic weekend with Lois at the ever-so-famous McDougle Inn. Little do they know the most horrible couple, Chloe and Oliver, is also doing their own romantic getaway at the very same place. On top of that, the inn is haunted by the sou...

Dr. Beanie and His Bloody Limbs The Kandorian's secret human experiments come back to bite them after a previous victim kidnaps the three who were in charge, and one happens to be the sister of Faora. Clark tries to help, but is too high to solve the crime all on his own. Who else can help, you ask? LOIS AND ZOD, OF COURSE (eww)! Meanwhile, Oliver figures out Chloe has been stealing money from...

Smallville Presents: Crimson, Pt. II and Zod's 9/11 It's Valentine's Day and Lois refuses to do anything romantic with Clark, but he isn't helping either. After a blast of fairy dust, a.k.a. PCP, laced with Gemstone Kryptonite, Clark now has the ability to "persuade" the people he talks to. Lois becomes a traditional housewife. Chloe somehow gets worse and is a psychotic...

SKCUS GNI***F LLITS EOLHC Zatanna is back and hotter than ever before, and sort of slutty? Either way, it's time to go "BIG" at the Metropolis Wonder-Con! A kid named Alec turns into an adult superhero after reading a cursed Warrior Angel comic book, courtesy of Zatanna's late father. Chloe shows us she's into REALLY young men. Clark and Lois still won't put out for each...

"You are of value, Clark Kent." After part one, Clark and his worst friends all get together to team-up with some of the J.S.A. members. The heroes go after The Icicle once they find out his weaknesses, with some sacrifices along the way (R.I.P. Kent Nelson). Unknown to them, The Icicle was hired by Amanda Waller, an agent of a group called Checkmate. Waller, a.k.a. "The White Queen", lures Lois i...

What's the "J.S.A."? That's right nerds, it's time for the golden age heroes to make their Smallville debut. After the Star-Spangled Kid and the Sandman are murdered by a villain named "The Icicle", the gang gets together in order to find out why he is picking off retired heroes one-by-one. As Oliver pursues a high school girl, Clark and Chloe bust out the Daily Planet archives to learn that this...

NO LOVERS. NO ALLIES. NO HOOKERS. Oliver's old mentor, Vordigan, comes into town to remind his former student of the vows he took. First, the Dark Archer ruins Lois and Clark's date night. Second, he attacks Chloe, who deserves it by the way. Third, he kidnaps Oliver's favorite hooker (oops, we meant "disciple") Mia, a.k.a. Speedy. Lastly, he wants an honorable death from his protege. What does Ol...

SUMMERHOLT LIVES ON! The time has come to dive into the not-so-distant future. Coming off her kissing seizure last episode, Lois gets unknowingly kidnapped by Tess and Stuart in order to unlock her future timeline memories. In this apocalyptic future, Zod and the Kandorians/Kryptonians obtain their powers under a red sun, take over the world, and turn the Kent Farm into a human concentration camp....

Two Nerdy Idiots vs. The Wonder Twins: Who is more dumb? Lois is back and is experiencing more intense visions from her trip to the future. As she attempts processing that on top of kissing Clark, Lois decides to go to therapy. Clark has two fans, Zan and Jayna, stopping crime and posing as his hero identity The Blur. While their intentions are good, the twins absolutely suck as heroes and get The...

Jor-El & Major Zod: The Last Blokes of Krypton Zor-El and Lara had their turn, now it's time for Clone Jor-El to make an appearance! Jor-El arrives at the Kent farm and tells the origin of the infamous purple orb, as well as his relationship with his BFF Zod. Tess wiggles her way in-between the two BFFs in order to "protect" Clark and his identity. Clark is upset his papa doesn&#...

TRUE LOVE'S FIRST KISS Lois and Clark land a pilot audition as cohosts for the news show Good Morning, Metropolis . While she is chasing a new career move, Clark just wants to get a second date with Lois. As they battle it out with their Online Dating story, Oliver finds a new "sidekick" in the form of a prostitute named Mia. That's right everyone, Speedy is here and Smallville m...

Roulette: The Chloe Sullivan Edition It's Oliver's birthday, so why not go and place the most awful bets at the underground casino. After being roofied by the "owner" of the casino, Oliver's life becomes an insane and stupid test to prove he's still a hero inside. Lois tries to track down Oliver so she can play beer pong. Clark finds out more clues about the missing Kando...

Smallville Presents: Fat Toy-Lover vs. Suicidal Billionaire The infamous Winslow Schott, a.k.a. Toyman, returns this week and he's here for revenge against Oliver Queen. After Toyman's first bomb attempt against Queen Industries, Clark is gifted with the power of reading minds (thanks daddy Jor-El). Clark uses his new power to stop crime, but also to stand-up Lois on a "date" that he planned. Chlo...

28 Days Later : The Smallville Edition Seems like the writers were thin on story ideas this time around and brought us Thirst, Pt. II. A random case of kryptonite rabies has hit Metropolis, but looks like instead of vampires we get horny zombies. Clark continues his hero work while working at the Daily Planet. Oliver is still moping for no reason, and manages to let Lois turn into a zombie. Tess i...

John Corben: Former active duty military turns grotesque cyborg psycho. Things get pretty gross this week when John Corben surgically receives a kryptonite heart after getting smashed by a truck (look both ways much?). As John starts to spiral, all he can think about is taking the The Blur down, a.k.a. Clark. Chloe is getting extremely jealous, and annoying, of Lois since Clark made her his new si...