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Send us Fan Mail Consider these Life Stages by Dr Thomas Armstrong, Ph. D (www.institute4learning.com): " Here are what I call the twelve gifts of the human life cycle: 1.          Prebirth:  Potential – The child who has not yet been born could become anything – a Michelangelo, a Shakespeare, a Martin Luther King – and thus holds for all of humanity the principle of what we all may yet becom...

Send us Fan Mail Life Stages (not Midlife Crises!) is about how Human Development is divided into distinct Stages. Here is a reminder of those Stages: Prenatal -> infancy -> early childhood -> middle childhood -> adolescence -> early adulthood -> middle adulthood -> late adulthood. It is stating the obvious, but recognise (and not only pay lip-service) to the fact that each St...

Send us Fan Mail Human beings have a life cycle. Each stage is marked by subtle adjustments to cope with the social, economical, cultural and sometimes, chronic stressors of the stage. Here is just one version of Life Stage age grouping categories. There are variants.  Let us look at one version. Each stage looking at the different phases of life:   Infant (Birth- 2 years) : Changes in schedules –...

Send us Fan Mail Let's check that we are on the same page as we have a discussion about ' Values '. I am speaking about such things as being able to be Creative , have Integrity , Fitness , Security , Faith , Self Confidence , Wealth , Winning , Honesty and many more. In the cool light of day, we would never purposely/consciously/intentionally trash our Values. They are a part of us...

Send us Fan Mail It is worth listening again to the first part of this topic (in a recent past episode) - entitled: Sex Addict - "I am not a Passive-Aggressive by my behaviours!" -  This is a continuation of that topic talking about Core Emotional Needs . This is part 2 of how Passive-Aggressive behaviours can show up - as a way of trying to get Core Emotional Needs met. Do you know what...

Send us Fan Mail What is passive-aggressive behaviour? Do you fight like this?  Passive-aggressive behaviour is when you express negative feelings indirectly instead of openly talking about them. It is a defence used to protect self. It might stem from early experiences and has become a way to protect self. It might also include feelings of rejection, fear, mistrust, insecurity and/or low self-est...

Send us Fan Mail Core Emotional Needs Which are your top 3 Core Emotional Needs? Is it Acceptance, Affection, Appreciation, Approval, Attention, Comfort, Encouragement, Respect, Security or Support?  Be aware of your top 10 Core Emotional Needs , but even more importantly, be very sure that you know your top 3 core emotional needs. The very fact that we are human, means that we have these 10 core...

Send us Fan Mail Therapy with The Kairos Centre is all about helping you to better understand you. Helping to move as much of life's issues from the unconscious, from the unseen, from the invisible, into the conscious, into the seen, into the visible.  That which you cannot seen, you have no hope of changing. Change begins when you can see some things. Therefore, it is useful to understand th...

Send us Fan Mail The Law of Sustainment refers to the principle that your ability to maintain progress towards your goals is closely tied to your self-image and identity. If your inner beliefs do not align with your aspirations, it can lead to inconsistency and failure to achieve lasting change. Put slightly differently: It says 'If you see yourself in a certain way, you'll find it hard...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, let's say it all in poetry. My Brain And Heart Divorced – John Roedel My brain and heart divorced a decade ago over who was to blame about how big of a mess I have become  eventually, they couldn’t be in the same room with each other now my head and heart share custody of me I stay with my brain during the week and my heart gets me on weekends they never spea...

Send us Fan Mail Many people think that pornography consumption is harmless. Therefore, a bit of porn from type to time is healthy and indeed, beneficial - isn't? It just spices things up and adds novelty. You can become addicted from such infrequent use? That isn't what a little bit of 'porn now and then' - during Covid-19 lock down, has proven. Porn viewing and porn addiction...

Send us Fan Mail The antidote to Narcissism is Empathy. (Sympathy and Empathy are very different). Narcissism and Empathy cannot co-exist at high levels together in the same person. (Both cannot be seen being used at high levels in the same person).  There will always be a high level of one and a low level of the other. Make sure Empathy is the one that is practised at a high level, in how you do...

Send us Fan Mail Most of my clients will initially reject the suggestion that they have such traits - (me, myself & I focus) - until I explain the definition. Here is one of the definitions of Narcissism which I use: " Narcissism is the way we conceptualise how we will look after ourselves. In its pathological form, it refers to people who seem incapable of acknowledging or taking suffici...

Send us Fan Mail Maybe you really are not yet at the 'ACTION' stage, as you think you are! 'Tools for 'ACTION' won't work if that is not the STAGE you are at.  Let's look at where you might be at, despite turning up at the Therapists office. Presenting for therapy does not mean you are ready for change and or to give up the behaviours. You see the ' need to...

Send us Fan Mail Love me in five ways: (See my Book - The Art of Loving ) Most of us operate out of emotional love. Our love is conditional. Loving self comes first. If you do not love yourself, it is not possible to love someone with the high level of love you think you have for them. It is deception to think that we do love our partner, whilst not really able to say that we love our self. Learn...

Send us Fan Mail Tools for repairing The Sex Addiction impacted couples relationship Couples get into a conflict dance of words and emotions, mostly because of their Attachment Fears - fears of being Abandoned. The conflict of words is rarely about the actual subject matter in dispute.   There is an under current of despair. It is rarely about the top left off the tooth paste or leaving the toilet...

Send us Fan Mail In the 1950's Eric Berne began to develop his theories of Transactional Analysis (TA). He said that verbal communication is at the centre of human social relationships and is a transaction. He called it Transactional Analysis. This is our ingrained voice of authority, absorbed conditioning, learning and attitudes from when we were young. We were conditioned by our real parent...

Send us Fan Mail More on unconscious Couples collusive fit dynamics of attraction By ROSIE IFOULD , 1 August 2011 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2020944/Do-fight-like-cats-dogs-Or-half-pedestal-How-identifying-couple-type-transform-love-life.html#ixzz36JbJ34V9 Most of us take on set roles in our relationships whether we realise it or not. We like to think that every relationship is uniq...

Send us Fan Mail Unconscious Couples Collusive fit - of attraction to each other. Identify with any of these dynamics in your partnered relationship - now or in the past? Henry Dicks suggested that there are three areas involved in a couple fit: A public fit of social class, ethnicity and education between couples. Each partner will have had different experiences from childhood. Both of the partne...

Send us Fan Mail Mate/Partner selection, Collusive/Couple fit and all that: Why did I choose you and not someone else on planet earth? " I have never met you before or hardly know you, yet in a room of 100 people, I gravitate to you ". How does that happen? My reply as a Therapist: " Because you 'promise' (or hold the potential) to fix and supplement an aspect of me which...

Send us Fan Mail From where did you get your Sex Ed knowledge back there during the developing childhood years, which you have been following through and repeatedly practising in adulthood? Was it ' Peers, banter and porn ' which set up your sexual template, long before school Sex Ed - which got there way too late; the deed was already done.  You give a wry smile when asked about Sex Ed...

Send us Fan Mail Part 5 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspective Here is a portion of an article by Lauren Dubinsky - Founder of Good Women Project: What I Wish I'd Known Before Watching Porn, 2012  "Pornography is a charged subject, and it's a word that rarely crosses the lips of most women. Yes, there are now bre...

Send us Fan Mail - On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre Part 4 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspective Covid-19 contributed to a significant increase in the compulsive use of porn in 10 to 75 years old. Women gravitated to webcam usage during lockdown – maybe coerced by partners making it seem...

Send us Fan Mail Part 3 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspective Snippet of an interview with Caroline Brown of “This Crazy over 40s Life”: Relationships & Collusive fits Sameness and/or difference attracts and are bonded together; but something shifts somewhere along the journey; falling out of love visited the couple. We fa...

Send us Fan Mail Part 2 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspective What does emasculation of men mean? A browser search result says about Emasculation: ' It refers to the perceived loss of traditional masculine attributes, such as strength and power, often resulting from societal changes or dynamics in relationship '.  We...