Sights Unseen

"...and over here we have the Iron Knuckles of Irony . It's said that any warrior who wields this infamous weapon will find themselves at the receiving end of strangely coincidental misfortunes. Legend tells of an ancient warlord, called Archford the Angry, who once donned these malicious, brass behemoths before taking to the battlefield... and a few weeks later... it rained... on his wedding day...

Hello Grandma, I've finally made it with the yummy baked snacks for you!! You wouldn't believe the freaky wolf I ran into on my way here through the woods and... OH Grandma... what big eyes you have! Like seriously, that looks uncomfortable, is the mask your wearing holding your eyes open like a torture device? Wait, that wolf is your boyfriend? You know what Grandma, I'm going to put these snacks...

"...with information tactical, strategical and practical, I am the very model of a dead Ikana general! ...Haaah... Alright then, class...does anyone have any questions? Yes, Margaret? " "Professor Ingo, are we ever gonna use this in the real world?" " WHAT!? Of course you will! Why, what if you somehow stumbled upon the corpse of some ancient army commander, and he challenged you to a footrace? A...

Hello, welcome to the Cyb and Mitch Swamp Tour, today we'll be showing you around the Woodfall Swamp. Now just up ahead you'll see the amazing Deku Palace and... wait... what's that shack? And who is that green guy? Oh dang it, this is the wrong swamp!! My apologies, my business partner is terrible with directions, but I think this is a good time to remind you that sadly we do not offer refunds......

"...and over here we have the ancient dais where the enemies of the kingdom were brutally eviscerated and offered up as a sacrifice to appease the old gods who guard the temples. Do we have any questions so far? Yes, you near the back, I saw your hand first... Hmm? 'Why is there an ancient race track on the floor above us, if this was a place of worship?' Uhhh, because it's mega dope , that's why!...

What if I told you...that you could drive... anywhere ? Heh...look at that...you're speechless. I thought as much. After all it isn't every day one learns-hmm? What was that? You already can drive anywhere..? No, no, no, I think you're mistaken... Driving is normally relegated to very specifically-themed, intricately-planned race courses, and what I'm saying is...what if you could leave those cour...

"Now, class...a wise man once told me that a good artist borrows, but a great artist steals. And I came to learn - after quite a few unfortunate, overnight stays in jail for art theft - that he was not, in fact, referring to literal art; but rather, the intangible substance we call I N S P I R A T I O N ! In this assignment you will be making a diorama..." * entire class groans* Outro: By Aiden Ha...

Was this list necessary? No. But! Was it informative? Also no... Outro: By Aiden Hamilton Our Socials- Sights Unseen: Email- sightsunseenpod@gmail.com Twitter- @sightsunseenpod Insta- sightsunseenpod Threads- sightsunseenpod Bluesky- @sightsunseenpod Jarrod: Other Shows- When It Happens To You Twitter- @WhenItHappensT1 Cybele: Other Shows- SO Scared Podcast YouTube- The Nemian Cannon Twitter- @Nem...

"Rule one of dying: don't. Rule two: slow down. You've got the rest of your life. The faster you think, the slower it will pass. Concentrate. Assume you're going to survive. Always assume that. Imagine you've already survived. There's a store room in your mind. Lock the door and think..." ~ The Doctor, "Heaven Sent" Outro: By Aiden Hamilton Our Socials- Sights Unseen: Email- sightsunseenpod@gmail....

"...Now, the next available unit on our apartment tour is a very charming, three-bed-two-bath bungalow that comes completely furnished! It even has a lovely, natural water feature in the kitchen, so you don't have to leave the house to fetch water from a well in the dead of night! Very convenient. And, yes, the upstairs bathroom does have a resident, but you won't even notice- hmm? Pardon? Oh, why...

They say that "Hell is other people..." Well, I suppose there have been enough theories and speculations of this game being an allegory for the afterlife, that this phrase may actually hold some water... Still, what kind of tour guides would we be if we didn't at least try to find some good folks living in the Land of Termina? Why, we'd be no tour guides at all ! We may as well hang up our serving...

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You know what's even cooler than a man who would do anything for his friends, who sheds genuine tears of remorse whilst doling out headbutts, and who would lay down his life for even the smallest of henchmen? A guy who is all that, but with a sick-ass hair-do. Outro: By Aiden Hamilton Our Socials- Sights Unseen: Email- sightsunseenpod@gmail.com Twitter- @sightsunseenpod Insta- sightsunseenpod Thre...

Greetings, Sightseers! We're between seasons right now! So while we take a hiatus to prep new episodes, why don't you take this time to explore an age-old mystery with us? Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with your vision. If you're wondering why you are seeing double, there's actually a very reasonable explanation for that... Outro: By Aiden Hamilton Our Socials- Sights Unseen: Email- sightsuns...

In this - our season finale - we ask the age-old question that has plagued our minds for centuries; what would happen if teenagers with military-grade rollerblades fought with mutated animals instead of having death matches for territory in urban Japan? Oh, you weren't wondering the answer to that..? Well, too bad. You certainly are now. Outro: By Aiden Hamilton Our Socials- Sights Unseen: Email-...

What would you do for your best friend? Would you be the best man at his wedding? Would you hold her hair back while she vomits in the toilet? How about carrying the sword their grandfather forged for them, and vowing to become the strongest swordsman on earth? Does that seem a bit too extreme? Heh, maybe you just don't understand what it means to be a real friend... Outro: By Aiden Hamilton Our S...

"Heh, welcome to my gym, Challenger! I hope you're ready, 'cause I'm about to bring the heat! Now, go my Fire Pok-" "Grandpa! What do you think you're doing!?" "Wha? Nothing, nothing!" "You said you were retiring! That's why I dropped out of school to come run this place for you! Now go back home and take your meds!" "Ohhhh...phooey..." Outro: By Aiden Hamilton Our Socials- Sights Unseen: Email- s...

How well do you know your shows? If your favorite episode walked up to you on the street, would you know it by name? Or would you just be stood there - frantically guessing like an idiot - like you did that one time when you ran into an old friend from high school? Let's hope you never have to find out the hard way! Outro: By Aiden Hamilton Our Socials- Sights Unseen: Email- sightsunseenpod@gmail....

"...now, here on your right, you'll see a noticeably more somber painting. This piece was brought to life when our lonely artist was feeling uncharacteristically melancholy. It was a particularly invocative period of time in the tragic life of a tortured soul. Some legends even say- Hmm? What was that? Oh, the title of the piece? It's called 'Bob-omb Battlefield', and it...hey don't laugh! This is...

"Welcome to your new position here at Jurassic Park! This introductory video was made to help ease you into life as a park worker! We're all gonna have loads of fun together, but there are a few things we must go over regarding safety . Now remember, you must have your wits about you at all times when working with the assets. If you turn your back for even one second , it may very well be the last...

"98...99...100! Ready or not, here I come! Hmmhmhmhmhhmmm, lalalala, walking through the witch's lair, looking for my friends... Past the portrait of the pyramids, underneath the giant advent calender, inside the bio-mechanical whale... Man, I can't find my friends anywhere! Maybe I should flush myself down the toilet and check inside the septic tanks..." Outro: By Aiden Hamilton Our Socials- Sigh...

"Alright then. Today is your first day on guard duty at the Rocket Base. So tell me, Grunt, what is the proper protocol for dealing with an unwanted intruder?" "Sir! Lock eyes with them from across the room, approach them for a battle, and dispense prize money to them when they win, Sir." "That's right, cadet. Very good. Now off you go, and don't get too dizzy on the spinning floor tiles..." Outro...

Ho ho ho, Merry Happy, Sightseers! We hope you are all having a wonderful holiday, completely devoid of any and all Scrooges out there! As well as dastardly mail carriers, greedy CEO's and the looming threat of ruining the holiday for everyone you love! Yeah, just forget about all that. It would never happen to you, right? Of course not, that would be ridiculous... Outro: By Aiden Hamilton Our Soc...

Are you tired of always placing second? Tired of being the shoulders that others stand upon? Are you ready to claim your rightful place as the hero of your own tale? Then come on down to Robin's Batman Emporium! We have everything you need to prepare you for the leading role you were born to play! Stop being the Boy Wonder, and become the Caped Crusader of your story today! Outro: By Aiden Hamilto...

Howdy, Pardner...you look like you're new around here. Well, let me give you the rundown real quick. See, I'm the sheriff 'round these parts, and I don't like nobody causing trouble in my town. If you try anything funny, like rustlin' cattle or disturbing the peace, then we're gonna have a problem on our hands. And I'll be forced to come lay down the law. Now, you don't wanna go up against me in a...