Shitty Cinema

Will we ever get sick of watching Tim Cruise run? Is this Russell Crow's cry for help? And why don't we incarcerate more people with mercury?

Dave puts to bed the old argument, who looks better naked: Olivia Munn or Arnold Schwarzenegger? (no spoilers!)

This week we learn a few things like all kaiju bodies are beautiful, you're never too young to find out your mom's an eco-terrorist, and the sea of Japan couldn't satiate Casey's thirst for Ken Watanabe.

Listen, we would really love to tell you about this film, but a psychic space moth just sprinkled LSD everywhere, so we'll be in the corner licking the wall instead.

How does the Kmart knockoff version of Pacific Rim compare to the original? How drunk do you have to be to drive a robot? And was this movie your last attempt before succumbing to adult acting?

That one guy from Star Wars (no, the other one) and Charlie Day battle it out mechs versus monsters, leaving us to ask ourselves: where's the drunk guy in a rubber suit?

This week it took a special guest to help us figure out what the hell we just watched, and convince us that Satan baby can't hurt you in real life!

Two Van Dammes, one Cinema! The gang asks the age old question: who did it better, Van Damme or Lohan?

We'd love to tell you all about Kill em All, but it would be a HIPPA violation. So break a few "laws" this week with Shitty Cinema!

The boys try to convice Casey there's a difference between a security guard and a firemarshall, and the cinema reignites the gangs love for Powers Booth.

What's better than an abusive hermit teaching you how to fight? Contributing to deforestation by kicking down trees!

Thick thighs make the cinema rise! This sweeping epic gets sand in all the right places, and The Rock serves looks.

Dave makes us watch a Scientology commercial for 2 hours, and John Travolta doesn't. even. dance. Is he the pigeon hat bandit?

Before he was Captain America, Chris Evans stars in the strange tale about sniffers, pushers, and screamers. I swear it's not as dirty as it sounds.

Can a young Jack Black save this film, or is Shitty Cinema doomed to stare into Jason Biggs lifeless eyes the whole time?

Michael Keaton goes from being an orphan (Batman) to making his son one in this jolly (?) Christmas classic. The gang also learns about Juice's porn search skills.

1.) Never have children, their consumerism will kill you around the holidays. 2.) Never shower with Phil Hartman in your home.

Bill Goldberg punishes everyone you ever wish you could at Christmas. Except for the rednecks. If zombies have taught us anything, it is rednecks are impervious.

Can Mike the Miz be a ho ho ho? Could there BE a more suggestive job title other than rear admiral? Find out this week!

Hulk Hogan goes from millionaire to love and care in this strange classic. Trigger warning: the Pizza Hut kid is in the film.

Gingers, Twinks, and Drug Smuggling, OH MY!

Dave had one job.... come for the clowns get loaded into cannons, stay for the ending that the Usual Suspects should have had!

Millennials are responsible for ruining these industries (number 5 will shock you!) Listen in on the gang lampooning an MTV mob movie!

Casey dissects bank robbery etiquitte, Dave compares Adrien Brody's face of a stealth bomber, and the gang argues who Brody lost his virginity to: Toothpaste or Toothpicks.

Finally! A film where no one is trying to bang the dog (except the other dog)! It's basically the movie Taken, but with cute talking dogs.