Shades of Pleasure

Welcome to Episode 29 of Shades of Pleasure , where Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly, four sex and relationship professionals, explore the harm caused by silence and complicity in the face of oppression. What keeps people from speaking up for human rights? Why are so many afraid of losing credibility, followers, opportunities, or influence by challenging systems of oppression? These are the question...

Welcome to Episode 28 of Shades of Pleasure Podcast , where Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly—four sex and relationship professionals—get real about life, love, intimacy, and nonmonogamy. In this episode, the crew explores the intersections of systemic, social, and relational burnout. The political, economic, and social climate is oppressive and heavy. Additionally, it’s easy to burnout in the work t...

Welcome to Episode 27 of Shades of Pleasure Podcast , where Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly—four sex and relationship professionals—get real about life, love, intimacy, and consensual nonmonogamy. In this episode, the crew unpacks the impact of compulsory sexuality in the therapy room. Compulsory sexuality is the pervasive belief that sex is universally desired, inherently necessary, and expected a...

Welcome to Episode 26 Shades of Pleasure Podcast, where four sex & relationship professionals open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual nonmonogamy. In this episode, the crew explores a question that many helping professionals quietly wrestle with: why can’t we therapize ourselves? Even with all the tools, insight, and training, there are limits to self-reflection, especially when we...

Welcome to Episode 25 Shades of Pleasure Podcast, where four sex & relationship professionals open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual nonmonogamy. In this episode, Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly break down the blame game and explore the role of radical responsibility in relationships. Men’s roles in modern relationships have changed. For many, the traditional roles of provider or p...

Welcome to Episode 24 of Shades of Pleasure Podcast, where four sex & relationship professionals open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. In this episode, Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly explore the possibilities, and challenges, of restructuring relationships. Believe it or not, many people don’t realize they have the agency or options to reshape their relationships. E...

Welcome to Episode 23, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. Welcome to Episode 23 of Shades of Pleasure Podcast, where four sex & relationship professionals open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual relationship practices. In this episode of Shades of Pleasure , Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly explore the often-unspo...

Welcome to Episode 22, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. Welcome to Episode 22 of Shades of Pleasure Podcast, where four sex & relationship professionals open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. In this episode, Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly explore the nuances, benefits, and stigmas surrounding s...

Welcome to Episode 21, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. In this episode, The Crew, Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly, explore the differences between a "messy list" and veto power. Have you ever heard the term “messy list” ? A “messy list” is a concept that shows up primarily in polyamorous communities. It refers to a list of pe...

Welcome to Episode 20, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. In this episode, The Crew, Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly, continue the conversation around the evolution of nonmonogamy and the many ways it can unfold. They explore what it means to define your nonmonogamy as your relationships evolve, how it can shift as it expands in...

November 26, 2025 Welcome to Episode 19, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. In this episode, The Crew — Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly — dive into navigating nonmonogamy during the holidays, coming out to your children, and how to introduce new partners to your family. Navigating nonmonogamy—and especially introducing new partn...

November 19, 2025 Welcome to Episode 18, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. In this episode, The Crew — Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly — dive into poly under duress . “Poly under duress ” is a term used in consensual non-monogamy communities to describe a dynamic where one partner feels pressured—implicitly or explicitly—to ope...

November 12, 2025 Welcome to Episode 17, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. In this episode, The Crew — Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly — dive into the beauty, struggle, and complexity of relationships. We can’t be happy all the time, and relationships, whether romantic, platonic, or intimate in other forms, can be challenging....

October 18, 2025 Welcome to Season 2, Episode 6, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. The crew — Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly — remind the listeners that sharing information with your partners and “frontloading” can be complex. Often, we approach communication from a place of wanting to protect our partners or ourselves, being...

October 10, 2025 Welcome to Season 2, Episode 5, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. The crew — Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly — dive into the complex role of differentiation in relationships, exploring what it means to stay connected while remaining your own person. They unpack why developing autonomy and expanding into nonmono...

September 7, 2025 Welcome to Season 2, Episode 4, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. The crew (Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly) tackle jealousy and why trying to “get rid of it” misses the point. Instead, they frame jealousy as information —a doorway into attachment wounds, fear of abandonment, shame, and unmet needs. From there...

August 31, 2025 Welcome to Season 2, Episode 3, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. In this episode, Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly discuss the ebb and flow of feelings, and explore “catching feelings” as the common rhetoric of what to share in relationships—especially within non-monogamy. They unpack why naming “feelings” may m...

August 17, 2025 Welcome to Season 2, Episode 2, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. In this episode, Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly dive into the theme of jealousy and fear in relationships , particularly within non-monogamy. The conversation centers around the idea of radical fear —the recognition that fear underlies jealousy,...

August 9, 2025 Welcome to Season 2, Episode 1, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. In this Season 2 opening episode of Shades of Pleasure , Mou, Melissa, Wayne, and Kelly revisit key conversations from season one on dismantling monogamy hangovers, challenging heteronormativity, and deconstructing couple privilege. They explore h...

December 31, 2024 Welcome to Season 1, Episode 10, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. In this season finale episode, Melissa, Wayne, Kelly, and Moushumi, four experienced sexologists, explore the challenges of embracing vulnerability, humility, and patience in transforming relationship dynamics. What roles do curiosity, humilit...

December 23, 2024 Welcome to Season 1, Episode 9, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love, and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. In this insightful episode, Melissa, Wayne and Moushumi, three of our four experienced sexologist co-hosts attempt to unravel the sometimes complex waters of consensual non-monogamy (CNM). The conversation delves into the unspoken rules and agr...

October 6, 2024 Welcome to Season 1, Episode 7, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. Four sexologists answer the question: what is a monogamy hangover? What happens when we try to incorporate monogamous ideals into non-monogamous ways of relating with others and being? How does this cause misalignments? Much like a hangover, we mi...

October 6, 2024 Welcome to Season 1, Episode 7, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. Four sexologists answer the question: what is a monogamy hangover? What happens when we try to incorporate monogamous ideals into non-monogamous ways of relating with others and being? How does this cause misalignments? Much like a hangover, we mi...

September 16, 2024 Welcome to Season 1, Episode 6, Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy. Four sexologists break down obligatory and entitled sex and it’s role in our cultre and where does ethical non monogamy fit into the picture. The conversation is about rules, who made them, who follows them and how they ultimately hold us back....

August 12, 2024 Welcome to Season 1, Episode 5 of Shades of Pleasure Four sexologists open up about life, love and the pursuit of consensual non monogamy Our hosts Mou, Melissa, Wayne, Kelly do a deep dive about time in Consensual Non Monogamy. Love may be infinite in our definition as ethical love activists and there is lots of flexibility in who, how, where and what kind of love, intimacy we get...