SexTok with Tracey and Kelsey

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I’d really like to try using a whip as a sex toy. My partner is up for it, but can you advise on what’s best to buy for a beginner and how to incorporate it into sex? 2) Our relationship is really good but my wife and I argue about sex a lot. Do sex-life problems suggest there are problems elsewhere in the relationship?...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I’m intrigued to know what happens at a chem sex party. I’ve got a few adventurous girlfriends and we’re all quite keen to give it a try. Would you advise it? 2) I know it’s normal to go through periods when you don’t find your partner attractive. But when should you worry that it’s more than a passing phase? 3) I’m str...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I’ve just started seeing a guy who is really into giving ‘facials.’ I’ve done it before, and don’t honestly mind, but what’s the psychology behind it? Why do so many guys like doing it, and is it degrading to agree? 2) I’ve only ever had an orgasm once without a vibrator, and that was after a long sex session with me on...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I love my husband and I’m very attracted to him. But for some reason, I have to picture a scene from porn to reach orgasm with him. I’m very much in my head when having sex in general, and find myself thinking about a million things that aren’t related to sex during it. How can I change this pattern of having to play th...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) Kelsey recently said she faked many orgasms while married. What is the general feeling about faking it now? How do most people react when they find out their partner’s faked it? Surely men think it’s a betrayal in the relationship? 2) Help! The inevitable has happened: sex with my husband of six years now feels like I’m...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) My wife and I communicate well about sex, but lately I’ve become extremely turned on by the thought of watching her have sex with a stranger. I think it’s called ‘hotwifing.’ It’s just a fantasy, and I’m not sure how I’d feel if we acted on it. Usually, anytime we have a ‘kink’ we tell each other, but I worry she’ll thi...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I’m a 24-year-old woman and have never enjoyed sex because it hurts. I’ve been checked out by my doctor and there doesn’t seem to be anything anatomically wrong, but sex is never pleasant for me. Can you help? 2) I’m a 36-year-old man and have been secretly wearing women’s panties under my clothes for years. It's n...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I like having sex with my partner, but get so easily distracted. One minute I'm into it, the next I'm worrying about something or spend the whole session thinking, 'Don't forget to do this or that' afterwards. It interferes with my enjoyment. How do I turn off my busy brain? 2) My partner has been hassling me to ha...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I’m 38, have been single for a long time, and haven’t had sex in ages. I’ve now met someone and I’m panicking about having sex with him. I enjoyed sex when I was younger, but now feel like a sexual novice. It’s affecting my confidence and stopping me from enjoying the experience of having someone in my life again. 2) We...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) Is it wrong to fantasize about another person when you are in bed with your partner? I’ve been married for a very long time and—as you both talk about often—we feel more like friends than lovers. To make sex more arousing, I often fantasize about a woman at work who I mildly flirt with. I sometimes feel a little guilty....

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I get on well with my boss, but don’t find him attractive in any way. The other night, I had an extremely hot explicit dream about him, and it’s made me feel uncomfortable. Does it mean I secretly want to sleep with him? I often have odd sex dreams. Can you stop yourself from having them? 2) I’ve just started a new rela...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I am a straight man and have had a few long-term relationships in my life. Although I enjoy sex, I never ejaculate during intercourse. I am now 50. I can orgasm with intense fantasy and oral sex, but never during penetration. I have read about sensate focus, but are there other options? I am fit and healthy and have no...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) My girlfriend and I seem to be going through a ‘dry spell.’ We haven’t had sex for about three months, and we used to have it weekly. Neither of us have talked about it and I feel like it’s becoming the elephant in the room. Life has been busy lately and I guess we just got out of the habit. How do we get back on track?...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I have some questions for each of you, rather than one of my own. Tracey, you’re always talking about the right things to do in bed but what about the wrong things? What are the top three things both of you would never do In bed?   2) What do penis sleeves feel like for women during sex? Do they feel realistic? We...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I’m a 50-year-old woman and new to sex toys. I’ve tried a few Rabbit vibrators and find them all much too powerful and rough. Can you recommend something with a smaller, more gentle style? They all seem to advertise power as a plus, but for me it's awful!   2) I’m a 37 and have never had an orgasm (by myself or wit...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) Why do women need different things to orgasm each time? Just when I think I’ve got it all figured out and found the spot that makes my wife orgasm, she moves the goalposts. It seems to change every time. Is this true, or am I imagining it?   2) Which feels better for women: a short, fat penis or a long, thin o...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) My question is about ‘face sitting’. My husband has asked me to try this with him, which I'm more than happy to do. But would like to know a bit more about it—especially because I'm a bigger girl and don't want to hurt him.   2) My girlfriend doesn’t love giving BJs, but will do so on occasion. If she doesn’t enjoy...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I didn’t start having good sex until my early 30s, and within a few months of dating I started squirting. Now, it’s a ridiculous amount. I can’t have sex anywhere except on a waterproof mattress cover or blanket. Sometimes just kissing my partner makes me gush slightly which can be uncomfortable if I can’t immediately c...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) My wife and I, both in our late 30s, have always enjoyed an adventurous sex life. She’s always watched porn, which leaves me cold but never bothered me. But now she wants to watch it together. I really don’t want to, and it’s causing arguments. She thinks I’m ‘weird’ and says I’m probably the only man in the world who w...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I’ve been listening to your podcast since the beginning and my question is similar to other male listeners: I'm 51, my wife is 55, and we’ve been married for 20 years. We have four kids in their older teens. Our sex life has been virtually non-existent for at least six years, and we have had no sex at all in the la...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) My girlfriend’s idea of perfect sex is both of us having orgasms as quickly as possible. Skip the foreplay, get naked, apply the lube, and get straight into intercourse. My idea of perfect sex is a bit of flirting, undressing each other, making her climax a few times during foreplay, then penetration in as many differen...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) After years of having really good sex, my partner is now avoiding it. He’s 48. You always say if a man over 40 suddenly goes off sex, he’s having erection problems. I think you’re right because the last few times we did attempt sex, he couldn’t get hard. The thing is, we’re good at having sex, but not so good at talking...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) My partner of four years is quite strange sexually. He seems to quite enjoy sex when I make the first move, but never initiates otherwise. He performs oral sex, but only if I insist and I can tell he doesn’t really like it. I thought he might be struggling with his sexuality and trying to force himself to be straight wh...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I'm a 50-year-old man from Amsterdam and a loyal listener to your podcast. I'm married to a wonderful 48-year-old woman, and our love and sex life is good. However, my wife has recently started worrying a lot about menopause and its effects on her body and sex drive. Could you discuss this topic? 2) My boyfriend an...

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions: 1) I’m recently back in the dating game and wondering if there are generally accepted definitions of vanilla/non-vanilla? So far, I've ducked all the likes from guys who describe themselves as 'non-vanilla' in case I disappoint. I'm late 50s cis female heterosexual, I love sex, and have a very healthy libido. I'm very...