Self Centered™ with Katie and Allie

In this episode, Allie opens up about the very personal and sometimes messy process of realizing she’s bisexual and how that discovery began, unexpectedly, on TikTok. What starts as a story about algorithms becomes an honest reflection on curiosity, attraction, and the cultural assumptions that had quietly shaped her sense of “normal.” We talk through what it’s like to question old beliefs and to...

Do you ever feel like you have to earn rest or joy? In this episode, we’re flipping the script. Feeling good isn’t something you get after the work is done—it’s the thing that actually helps you do the work better. We talk about: Why rest, joy, and pleasure are essential, not indulgent How to build your “emotional bank account” through small, daily deposits of joy The science behind “The Happiness...

Transformation and post traumatic growth doesn’t always feel bright or inspiring at the start. More often, it feels like walking through fog - scary, heavy, and disorienting - because the path forward is unknown. In this episode, we help you recognize when you’re stuck in looping patterns of avoidance, over-functioning, or self-abandonment that keep you circling in the dark. You’ll learn why surre...

How do you determine when exercise as a coping mechanism is helping you self center or if its self abandonment? Through the story of ultramarathoner Paul Johnson, who ran across the United States to bring visibility to mental health struggles, and Simone Biles, who stepped back from the Olympics to protect her wellbeing, we see how different choices can both be acts of self centering. Katie also r...

Have you ever found yourself feeling guilty for saying no, responsible for someone else’s feelings, or like the bad guy just for setting boundaries? This episode unpacks the hidden emotional cycle known as the Drama Triangle and introduces the Empowerment Triangle as a practical path to reclaim your power. You'll learn how these dynamics show up in everyday interactions and how to shift from react...

This episode is all about what actually supports growth and repair after harm, both for the person who was hurt and the person who caused it. We break down why cancel culture and rushed apologies often backfire, and what needs to be in place instead: psychological safety, time for reflection, and boundaries that protect without enabling. If you've ever questioned what real accountability should lo...

Why do so many of us struggle with setting healthy boundaries? In this episode, we uncover how culture, family systems, and social pressures shape the way we protect ourselves (or don’t). From cancel culture to hustle culture to family expectations, we’ll break down the hidden forces behind rigid, porous, and healthy boundaries, and how to reclaim your own. This is especially for you if you grew u...

You've probably heard it before: "fitness is my therapy"... but is it really? In this episode, we explore how movement can be a powerful tool for emotional regulation, stress relief, and even brain health, while also naming the moments when fitness shifts into self-abandonment. Through both science and lived experience, we highlight the fine line between using exercise to become more grounded and...

For the person who’s questioning if their boundaries are keeping them safe or keeping them stuck, this episode is for you. Today we explore the tension between protection and connection by unpacking rigid vs weak boundaries. If you've ever said "I'm just protecting my peace" but still feel disconnected or lonely, you might be using boundaries as armor rather than alignment. You’ll learn how trauma...

It’s not just about feeling good, it’s about building a life that can hold you in the hard moments. In this episode, we revisit the 8 dimensions of wellness and share exactly what’s changed for us since our last check-in. You’ll hear the honest truth about our wins, our struggles, and the messy in-between, so you can spot the same patterns in your own life. You'll learn: How to use “wellness dimen...

We're tuning back in to the Dimensions of Wellness, but with version 2.0! Today, we revisit the 8 Dimensions of Wellness, not just as a checklist, but through the lens of being self-centered. You’ll learn what it looks like to stay grounded ("in your seat") versus what it feels like to abandon yourself in each area of your life. Whether you’re feeling a little off or fully burnt out, this episode...

You can love someone and still not be able to trust them. Trust gets complicated, especially when you’re recovering from burnout, people-pleasing, or relational trauma. In this episode, we break down the real components of trust and why discernment (not defaulting to distrust or over-trusting) is the key to staying centered. Inside, we explore: The 7 components of trust from Brené Brown’s BRAVING...

Alright Selfies, real talk. If you’ve been feeling scattered, anxious, or just off lately, but can’t stop reaching for your phone, this episode is for you. We’re diving into a wild study where people gave up mobile internet for two weeks (don’t panic; they could still text and call), and the results were astounding: better focus, less anxiety, even more life satisfaction, and improvements comparab...

You want to do the right thing but you’re so damn tired. Do you say something? Keep the peace? Stay quiet even though your values are screaming? In this episode, we break down how to navigate the messy tension between advocating for what matters and honoring your own limits. You’ll learn: How to assess your priorities, capacity, and influence over the situation Using your body as a guide with “red...

If you’ve ever struggled to say what you really mean, avoided conflict to keep the peace, or felt like your voice gets lost in relationships, this episode is for you. We’re diving into the four main communication styles: passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive, and breaking down how each one shows up, why we default to them, and what it takes to move toward assertiveness. You’ll lea...

You finally left the toxic job, the dysfunctional family, or the one-sided relationship, but now you’re exhausted, emotional, and weirdly resistant to rest? You’re not broken. You’re just coming back to life. In this honest episode, we talk about: What survival mode really looks like (and why it lingers) How trauma rewires your baseline and expectations, without you even realizing it Why your nerv...

What do you really need to feel like yourself again? In this final episode of our ego series, we reveal the CENTERED framework, 8 key abilities you need to build ego strength, stay rooted in your real, authentic self, and finally live in alignment with your values. Do you know what your needs are? Can you speak your truth without shame? Are your choices led by values, or survival mode? Listen to t...

Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling confused, doubting yourself, or thinking, “Wait… what just happened?” This episode of Self-Centered is here to help you put words to that feeling. In the third installment of our ego series, we unpack gaslighting —how it shows up both intentionally and unintentionally, and introduce four essential filters you can use to recognize it and protect...

Ever wonder why someone flips out over simple feedback? Or why you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around certain people? This episode breaks down how ego strength (or the lack of it) impacts your self-talk and emotional regulation, as well as how people perceive (or distort) reality and show up in relationships. Whether you’re someone who tends to spiral in shame or you’re trying to make se...

You’ve heard the word ego tossed around like it’s a bad thing—like it only shows up in narcissists, jerks, or self-obsessed people. But what if that’s not the whole story? In this first episode of our 4-part ego series, we break down what the ego actually is (hint: you have one, and you need it), how it develops, and why it matters for your emotional wellbeing, boundaries, and sense of self. Throu...

In this real, raw episode, Allie and Katie talk about the emotional limbo that happens after a breakup, when you’re no longer who you were with them —but not yet fully who you’re becoming on your own . This isn’t just about heartbreak. It’s about your shifting identity, letting go of the future you imagined, and slowly rebuilding a life that feels like yours. We talk about: Why you can grieve some...

If you’ve ever felt like love, respect, or even basic human decency must be earned through performance, perfection, or self-sacrifice, this episode is for you. We explore the hidden roots of people-pleasing and perfectionism, revealing how these patterns often begin as adaptive strategies in childhood but quietly follow us into adult relationships, work, and self-worth. Through personal stories, e...

Do you ever feel like your life looks good on paper—but something’s still off? In this episode, we unpack how not living your true values leads to feeling burnt out and empty, and how to identify and prioritize what really matters to create a life that lights you up. Perfect for recovering people-pleasers, type As, and over-functioners. We cover: What values really are—and how they’re shaped by fa...

Somewhere in adulthood, an inevitable shift occurs where making and retaining new friends just seems tough - but it doesn't have to be. In this episode, we explore why friendship often takes a backseat as we age and how to shift your mindset and approach to build meaningful, mutual connections. Whether you're craving deeper relationships, moving to a new city, or just tired of feeling disconnected...

Loneliness is as dangerous as smoking and most people don’t even realize it. In today’s conversation, we break down the research on why emotionally safe, reciprocal relationships are essential for your health, happiness, and self-worth. Plus, we share practical tools for spotting real connection versus surface-level friendships and love. If you want deeper friendships, better romantic relationship...