Self Centered™ with Katie and Allie

What happens when you finally start feeling momentum toward the life you’ve wanted, and realize you need to nurture it instead of overextending yourself? In this deeply personal episode, we share why we’re taking a break from the podcast, not because things are falling apart, but because they’re finally coming together. After years of survival mode, burnout, health struggles, overfunctioning, and...

What happens when you want love so badly that you stop listening to yourself? In this episode, we unpack some of the biggest relationship dynamics from Love Is Blind, including avoidant attachment, codependency, emotional unavailability, weak egos, over-pursuing, validation seeking, and staying true to your values in relationships. Using examples from the show (especially episodes 10, 11, 12, and...

What happens when someone seems emotionally available one minute… and completely shuts down the next? In this Love Is Blind recap of Emma and Mike, Bree and Connor, and Chris and Jessica in episodes 7-9, we unpack the real relationship patterns underneath what we’re watching unfold. From avoidant attachment and emotional deactivation to trying to mold someone into your ideal partner, this episode...

This week, we continue our Love Is Blind breakdown by looking at the difference between relationships that feel grounded and relationships that leave you confused, disconnected, and second-guessing yourself. We talk through the growing disconnect in episodes 7-9 between Brittany and Devonte, the red flags and confusion showing up with Ashley and Alex, and the steadier dynamic we see with Jordan an...

This week, we pick back up on episodes 4-6 of Love is Blind Season 10 as the newly engaged couples head into the couples retreat in Cabo. As we react in real time, we talk about the very different energy across the couples: where connection feels easy, where bids for connection keep getting missed, where lifestyle differences already start showing up, and where attraction, insecurity, and mixed si...

This week, we finish out the pod phase of Love Is Blind and reflect on the final pairings before the couples retreat. As we watch the last connections unfold, we talk about the pressure to be chosen, the difference between anxiety and clarity, and what happens when someone wants certainty before real trust has had time to form. We also touch on people-pleasing, mixed signals, bids for connection,...

This week, we’re back in Love Is Blind and continuing the conversation with more dynamics, decisions, and relationship patterns starting to unfold as couples pair up and leave the pods. As we react in real time, we find ourselves circling the same dynamics: what happens when attraction is strong but the depth isn’t really there, how differently people respond to uncertainty, and how easy it is to...

This week, we’re diving into the first three episodes of Netflix's newest season of Love Is Blind and using the chaos, chemistry, and confusion as a mirror. As we share our real-time reactions, we explore the difference between staying grounded in yourself and slowly drifting away from yourself in the name of connection. We talk about communication patterns, emotional regulation, attachment behavi...

After last episode’s heavy reflection on current events in the United States, Katie and Allie shift toward coping with the emotional weight of living in a divided country. They speak honestly about grief, anger, exhaustion, and the tension between hope and despair, while also stepping back to name the cultural and psychological dynamics at play, including patterns like the Drama Triangle, ego stre...

In this episode, Katie and Allie sit with what it feels like to watch the country fracture in real time. We speak openly about grief, anger, confusion, and the exhaustion of watching violence become normalized. The conversation reflects on recent events, including the killings of Renée Good and Alex Pretti by ICE, as well as the arrest of journalist Don Lemon , and what these moments reveal about...

In this episode, we kick off a new ongoing series, Centered or Not , which reflects on the narratives we absorb through pop culture and how those messages shape our understanding of power, healing, and self-worth. Today's exploration? Two iconic breakup anthems: "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood and "Flowers" by Miley Cyrus. Katie and Allie use these two anthems to explore contrasting message...

Have you ever looked back at a past version of yourself and thought, “I should have known better” ? In this episode, we explore why we so often judge our past choices through the lens of who we are now - unpacking the difference between guilt and self-punishment, why mistakes are often coping strategies rather than character flaws, and how black-and-white narratives around “bad behavior” keep peop...

Have you ever slowed down, felt more settled, and somehow started feeling… guilty? In this episode, Katie explores why contentment can feel uncomfortable, why rest can trigger anxiety, and why many of us mistake peace for stagnation. Drawing from her own experience with hustle culture, productivity, religion, and healing, she unpacks her former belief that growth must always look like striving and...

Family estrangement is often framed as a mystery or a failure, especially by the people who feel left behind. In this final episode of our estrangement series, we explore why repair so often doesn’t happen, even when adult children clearly explain what hurt them. We talk about the concept of the missing missing reasons , why parents and family members may genuinely believe no explanation was ever...

Family estrangement is often described as selfish, impulsive, or cruel. In this episode, we slow the conversation down and examine why those narratives miss what actually leads adult children to go no contact. We explore common myths about estrangement, including the idea that adult children do not care, are overreacting, or are following a cultural trend. Through a trauma-informed lens, we talk a...

If you read the New York Times article on family estrangement and no contact and felt unsettled, this episode is for you. We respond directly to the NYT opinion piece “Life Is Too Short to Fight With Your Family,” co-authored by Mel Robbins and Dr. Karl Pillemer, and explain why its conclusions about estrangement, mental health, and regret overlook trauma, power dynamics, and emotional safety. Rat...

Oprah’s podcast framed estrangement as a rising "trend.” But is it really? Allie and Katie take a closer look at how mainstream media covers “no contact” relationships, responding directly to The Oprah Podcast episode featuring Dr. Joshua Coleman, Dr. Lindsay Gibson, and Nedra Tawwab. They share their professional and personal reactions, fact-check common misconceptions, and explain what’s actuall...

After years of survival mode, loneliness, and self-abandonment disguised as “being good,” Allie shares how centering herself finally led to genuine connection. This episode is an honest reflection on the decade it took to rebuild her sense of self, community, and joy, and what it really feels like when your friendships start aligning with who you’ve become. Through stories of loss, boundaries, chr...

Is being “self centered” the key to healing both ourselves and our culture? In this one-year anniversary episode, Allie and Katie reflect on the evolution of Self Centered , what it is, what it isn’t, and why it’s not just a mental health podcast. They reveal the deeper mission behind the movement: to help people reconnect with their true selves and reshape the systems that keep us overworked, ove...

This week, Katie tells the story of her very first date after her breakup… and all the chaotic, conflicting, surprisingly insightful feelings that came with it. Think of this episode as a self-centered field trip into listening to your body, unlearning old rules, and figuring out what you actually want instead of what your fear or society tells you to want. It’s honest, playful, and a perfect exam...

This final episode of our codependency series zooms out to reveal how the world around us, including workplaces, healthcare systems, politics, family structures, and culture as a whole, reinforces and normalizes codependent dynamics. If you have ever wondered why setting boundaries feels impossible or why burnout, guilt, and over-functioning feel like the default, this conversation helps you see t...

When you’ve spent years in codependent dynamics, it’s easy to confuse intensity with connection and fantasy with compatibility. This episode helps you uncover the subconscious habits, like rescuing, reenacting old wounds, people-pleasing, and idealizing emotionally unavailable partners, that quietly pull you away from real, grounded intimacy. You’ll learn how to shift from managing others’ reactio...

In this episode we break down the five faces of codependency (the caretaker, people-pleaser, rescuer, dependent, and avoidant), what led you to being in each role, and how you can get in touch with the most authentic and empowered version of you. You’ll learn how to: Recognize which roles you fall into in relationships Identify the beliefs driving your codependent habits Shift from self-abandonmen...

If in relationships, you feel like you're always anticipating others’ needs, walking on eggshells, or taking responsibility for everyone else’s emotions, this episode may help you understand why. In this first episode of our four-part series on codependency, we unpack what codependence is, the five roles that keep people stuck in unhealthy patterns, and how childhood mirroring (or lack of it) can...

Today's episode dives into the courage it takes to make life or career changes when both options seem “right.” Katie opens up about a major business transition to leave the gym that helped her grow for five years and explores how perfectionism, hustle culture, and reenactment cycles kept her chasing familiar patterns under the illusion of safety. We unpack how fear of incompetence, identity tied t...