Secret Sesh

That boy is dead. Dead dead dead.

Here comes the groom

The beef boys are in town and business isn’t just what they mean, it’s what they’re selling. Beef.

Nothing gold can stay. You never brought it up, but I have a feeling you were the only person that listened to this podcast. A mensch in every sense. I love you so much, my friend. Long live.

They say you can't take it with you, but what if you could it take with? Hi, I'm Dr. Max Fine- and I am completely unaware of what the fuck I'm doing in this doctor's coat and/or office. Please return me to my wife, who is very real, and very hotl.

Graduation is around the corner. I'm going to be a real gingerbread boy now and no one can stop me. Fuck you, Martha. I haven't forgotten what you did to Spencer's sock in 3rd grade. Nah, I don't actually know a Martha. Could you imagine?

It's cold and rainy. It's Summer. I am Steven.

Is nothing sacred anymore? Will the entertainment complex ever be satiated with what must surely be "too much shit?" Are you tired of losing sleep over the loss of your sanity and/or dignity? Well toil no more! With THERAPY GUN, you can end it all right now! Not to be confused with theragun, the massage tool, THERAPY GUN is just a gun. Any gun will do! Heck, you might already have a THER...

But I don't. That doesn't mean I'm a good partner. I just don't suck and your boyfriend does. This isn't an attempt to break y'all up- I wouldn't be a better option. You can leave him if you want to, but I'm just saying that I probably won't fulfill your needs either on an emotional level. He sucks, but I'm unavailable emotionally. That being said, if you gu...

Cut the crap. Your father's home and he is pissed. You're killing your father. Bad boy.

Listening to a lot of good music lately.

Man, whatever

Ate a lot of bread. I don't feel great, but I'll probably shovel some more shit down my throat before I go to bed. I guess compulsive eating is still better than pissing your pants blackout drunk on the A train to Rockaway Beach. Jah feel?

[insert the lyrics to Smooth by Rob Thomas feat. Carlos Santana]

Oh great, someone farted and clearly had a baguette last night. smdh

Nobody knows what’s inside. Can you keep a secret?

It's your asshole, Jerry!

Your honor, this case is a sham and you are a piece of leather beneath a hot stamp.

I took a submarine down under the sea last night. Got to see all the electric eels. There are only three, and they are all named Ernie. Ernie rhymes with gurney, which is what your body will eventually be strapped to after your passing. Something to think about, really. Guess what, that wasn't written by AI. Woof, daddy.

Went on a date. it was fine but not fireworks

Come on, man. This "art" thing is starting to wear me down. Can someone just give me a job or become a benefactor for me to make shit. This podcast doesn't make money (because it doesn't exist), but if you do, please send it to me. Ok, now that we've gotten that out of the way- here's the good stuff: 8==👊=)💦 😓

" If You're Gone " is a song by American  rock  band  Matchbox Twenty . The song, written by the band's frontman  Rob Thomas , was released on September 18, 2000, as the second single from their second album,  Mad Season  (2000). It reached number five on the US  Billboard   Hot 100  chart, becoming the band's second best-ranking song on the chart, and also became a hit on ad...

A minuscule amount of fun was had by two people. The other three died. Shame shame shame.

I think I'm just one banana peel away from covering my entire floor with banana peels. Imagine coming over and you're just like "what the hell are these banana peels doing cover the entire floor? I can't walk in here!" and then I come out dressed as a whole ass barrel of monkeys. I'd probably slip on the way there. Whatever, I'm going for it. Will you donate a peel to...

Oh man. The problem with this podcast is that I have to keep the window open so the smoke cna go outside. And now it's cold. Brrrrrr. Ice cream man, you could be my best friend if you'd let me drive your truck. Choo Choo! Sometimes it's hard to tell if this is a podcast or autism.