Says Who?

It’s summertime in SaysWhovia! The lawn chairs are out. The pool floats have been inflated. And Trump is back on his bullshit! Wait, what? Oh right. Time is a flat circle. Yes, he’s back! Ranting and raving in a way that is not at all concerning! By that, we mean… kind of concerning! It’s possible that the Trumpets are planning a little light treason. Nothing to worry about. Besides, Dan has big n...

Our friend Akilah has been back to Disneyland now that it's reopened after 14 months, and what a magical day she had .  Come, Sayswhovians, take a break from the unrelenting pace of news and just... enjoy yourself at the happiest place on earth.  Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

We all developed new hobbies during lockdown. Maureen collected bins and drop-crotch jumpsuits. Dan made masks and relentlessly trolled Maureen about the state of New York politics. This is still his favorite! He does it ALL THE TIME. This was the biggest week yet for Dan’s new pastime. Andrew Guillani has entered the ring and Dan simply could not be more delighted. Maureen tries to deflect. There...

It’s a big week, SaysWhovia. Maureen has a guest. In her house. Someone is STAYING OVER. Because life is finding a way. Because he doesn’t want her to get too excited about the experience, Dan decides to tell Maureen all about the state of the mayoral race in New York City—a race in which no one seems to know anything except Andrew Yang. He’s going to be the winner! Dan is sure of it. Maureen is l...

Spring has come to SaysWhovia and the world is reopening! Maureen has gotten a hairdo! She went to a place! With a person! Dan also went to a place with a person, but for a different reason. Dan had a little accident. His foot is not 100% what it should be at the moment. Luckily, we know someone who is good with feet. Meanwhile, two prominent dirtbags have been caught dirtbagging—because these dum...

It’s happening, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen have had both of their shots. They got a little sleepy, but now they are thinking about reentering the world. No, really this time. It’s a whole new era! One filled with grocery stores, maybe not wearing a mask outside, perhaps sitting on a bench…that kind of thing! Sure, there will be a transition period. Dan has an inflatable couch for that. And Mauree...

Today’s episode is a little different. Dan and Maureen were about to record when the verdict came in, so they stopped until it was read. What follows is the immediate reaction to the verdict and a discussion of the strange, in-between times we live in. Also, Dan has been trolling Maureen, and eventually there is a discussion about celery. Content info : This episode, obviously, deals with the resu...

Could it be, SaysWhovia, that soon it will be time to rejoin the world? To dance and sing? Or, get dental care? Get gravy? Look out the window? Maureen and Dan are ready!  Well, they will be! Maybe! Give it time. Soon. Soon they will be. Just not yet.  So instead of traveling out, they travel back in time too when everyone smoked everywhere and things stank. Want to hear stories about eight year o...

What a week it has been, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen are a day later than norm, because Maureen had a book come out on Tuesday. She had to do 19 interviews, which means she had to talk a lot. Blah blah blah, all day long. She is behind on the news. Luckily, Dan has been paying attention! He has a story to tell her—a story about a man named Matt who did some very bad things. You may think you know...

It’s a big week here in SaysWhovia! Dan and Maureen have both received their first shot. Dan was slightly overwhelmed by the experience. It has been a long time since he has been out. Meanwhile, the sideways boat has been freed, which reminds Maureen of a time she was on a boat. A lot happened on this boat. She will tell you all about it. Neither of them are ready for prime time. Down in Florida,...

CONTENT ALERT: Maureen discusses the use of a diet tracking app and eating behaviors from minute 32:14 until 35:04. Toot toot! It’s Says Who time, and there’s big news! Dan is going to be vaccinated! He’s excitedly preparing to go to Walgreens. Maureen is not up for her stick yet, but she has been to Walgreens, so who is the real winner here. America gets back to normal,  ever so slowly, and that...

Dan and Maureen have now been inside for a year. They like it in here. Outside is bad, and has teeth. Well, Maureen went out a little. She had to go to the doctor. She saw Times Square! She has been on an Adventure. Meanwhile, Dan has gotten his Biden Bucks and is now a fancy man. He’s all dressed up and in the basement, where he is content. They don’t know what they’re going to do when things get...

*opens window*  Oh, hello! It’s a warm and sunny day, and Dan and Maureen are feeling good. It’s almost springtime. There are vaccine appointments on the horizon. People are getting their shots. Andrew Yang is going to be the next mayor of New York City… Dan was saving that one for Maureen. Maureen is going to have to join the Yang Gang and move into a Tic Tok influencer house or something. He’s n...

*flips calendar page* Hey, we did it! It’s March! We made it one full year into the COVID lockdown! And Dan is… well, Dan is processing. He’s knows it’s March, but he doesn’t know what year. Maureen must break this to him. It’s a SaysWhovian look back at a super duper weird year, and the strange, perpetual March that has everyone feeling ugggnnnhhhhnnnhhhhhhhh. Remember getting that first grocery...

It’s been a long winter, SaysWhovia. And a long fall. And summer. And spring. We’d all like to get away for a bit. And who deserves a break more than Ted Cruz? Texas should not be so cold. He needs a break. Thus was Ted’s Cancun Adventure launched, and yes, Dan and Maureen are going to talk about it. But that’s not the big story. The big story involves meat sizes, tiny bottles of ketchup, and big...

Dan is frozen inside of his house. Also, he has lost his mind a little. Things built up—homeschooling, work, the impeachment trial, and…TV lighting? Yes. TV lighting. Meanwhile, Maureen celebrated a quarantine birthday by doing laundry. Did we mention it’s cold? It’s cold. At some point in the last week, an entire impeachment trial zipped by. Then Trump emerged from the grave and Mitch McConnell p...

Dan’s made some bad choices. Let's discuss them, together.  Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Welcome to February, the first Trump-free month! It is . . . making Dan very nervous. He cannot sleep. He is twitching. He cannot adjust. Also, he has twenty-nine jobs and twenty-eight of them might be impeachment-related. Maureen is fine! And she wants Dan to be fine too. She will explain how to be fine. The first step is working out the difference between a Big Juicy Impeachment and a Lil’ Donut...

Just kidding. But it is definitely a better start than last week, when Donald Trump was in the final, weird days and hours of the presidency he won by collecting the most white nationalists. Dan and Maureen are adjusting to this new, somewhat slower life, where we don’t have to check Twitter every sixteen seconds in case Trump made a raccoon the Secretary of Defense during a midnight tweet storm....

It’s happened. It really, really happened. Trump is gone. He got on a plane and flew away. Dan and Maureen are . . . trying to process.  This is new territory. How do you watch the news without screaming? How do you look at Twitter without flinching at the word BREAKING? How do we live in a reality that is changing every moment, like a room full of monkeys is controlling the switches? HOW DO WE FU...

Insurrection, Impeachment, Inauguration… January of 2021 loves a Wednesday. Which is why Dan and Maureen are here on Thursday, clinging to the door like at the end of Titanic, trying to explain what’s been going on. In short: a lot. The slightly longer version: the fallout of the Capitol siege, a week of hilarious shitcanning, an impeachment, and a very sad Rudy. Yes, Rudy has been ghosted. There’...

A very busy day. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It seemed like it was never going to come, but we are here, together, at the end of 2020.  Join Maureen and Dan for a little bit of looking back and a little bit of looking ahead and a little bit of that ol' Says Who magic here at the end of the worst year.  Plus: AN ANNOUNCEMENT. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It’s the holiday season in SaysWhovia! Dan and Maureen are sitting by the fire, waiting to tell you a story. What’s the story about? Well, it’s about vaccines, and Joe Biden, and spreading cheer. Also, it’s about Rudy Giuliani visiting Santa and Maureen’s issues with wearing pants. It’s a real up and down sort of experience. Come. Join SaysWhovia in this celebration. Get a cup of this nog stuff, d...

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! The weather is… unremittingly grey. People are… forced to stay apart. And it’s a season of giving… COVID to people who can’t or won’t avoid close situations. Okay, so things could be better.  Maureen has turned her book in and is holding things together better than Dan expected. Dan is over the Chicago weather. But what’s this? News from the Trump legal te...