Says Who?

Oh, hello! Dan and Maureen didn’t see you. Dan is hiding in his basement, writing emails. Maureen is stuck in an elevator. Both of them are trying to help their families outrun COVID. Because, COVID! It’s Still Here! Dan has a lot to say about testing and tracing and AP History. Maureen is still really just trying to get in or out of an elevator. Will she ever leave New York City? Can Dan convince...

FIVE YEARS! Yes, you read that right. Says Who is celebrating FIVE YEARS of this EIGHT WEEK podcast! It’s time for celebrations! Parties! Picnics on the square! Dancing! Except Maureen has had A Week, and she needs to tell you all about it. ALL about it. This may take a while. Plus, Rudy gets drunk and Trump hangs out with a cult. What else is new. HERE’S TO FIVE MORE YEARS! Says Who is made possi...

Dan and Maureen are out of the news business this week. It’s bad. Instead, this Says Who is about culture! Fun things! Things that make Dan and Maureen happy! At least, it will be once Maureen is done explaining all the things she has to do to get ready for Oscar’s green card interview in the morning. So much paperwork. So many details. What did they serve at the wedding? Was there cake? There wer...

Welcome to the Says Who Good Times Fun Hour, which is what we’re calling it this week as everything is A Lot and people are starting to get a bit crispy around the edges. So let’s keep it light and fun! Let’s talk about Rudy Giuliani eating soup! Because he does not eat it like other people. He eats it Rudy Style. And it’s gross! You won’t like it. Also, let’s talk about medicine for horsies, beca...

Pretty sure Maureen forgot what was discussed on this episode. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

Dan and Maureen are back after last week’s absence! Dan has returned home to Chicago. His teenager has returned to school. We’re going back out, except where we’re all going back in!  No one has any idea what’s happening! Except for two people: Rudy and My Pillow Mike. Rudy is now on Cameo, and that is a lot of what today’s episode is about. Rudy will greet you for $400! Would you like a greeting...

Greetings from the road, SaysWhovia! Dan is in the wilds of Colorado. Maureen is in Philadelphia. Both are super alarmed by the fact that no one seems to be wearing masks! They do not like it! There’s been news this week—classic, SaysWho type news. Rudy Guiilliani is having a bad time. He’s broke. He’s in trouble. He’s down to the cheap booze and his pants keep falling off. Trump is no longer taki...

Dan is out on the road, not in a hot car. Maureen is up in the cool mountains of Massachusetts.  Did politics happen this week? Probably. Dan and Maureen do not want to know.  For a blissful moment, they are Somewhere Else doing Something Else. Both have chosen good times to be somewhere else, because things are going great, and nothing is happening with COVID. Or everything is! No one knows. This...

SaysWhovia! Dan is on the road, which in this case is literal: he's recording from the back of his car again. But it's OK! He's under a tree, what could go wrong.   Meanwhile, Maureen and Dan have been reading the new Trump tell-alls that have been coming out. Today, let Maureen and Dan tell you about them so you don't have to read them! Maureen started "Frankly, We Did Win This Election: The Insi...

It's really summer now SaysWhovia, but Dan and Maureen are gearing up for... leaving? Is that still a thing? That is if covid variants and government bureaucracy let them go. But before they leave town, how about discussing the various Trump legal clowns who have been playing clown games this week. Sure, of course there's Rudy because there's always Rudy, but there's enough clownage to go 'round t...

It’s the 200th episode! Yes, the little podcast that was a coping strategy that was never supposed to exist like this celebrates its 200th episode!  To mark the big 200, Dan and Maureen answer your questions! Learn about Maureen’s very flexible policies in terms of where she will go. Find out what young Dan did for fun. Why are they still doing this? Do they like it? Can they ever stop? What is go...

It’s the Says Who, One Day Late Edition! Maureen has had a wild couple of days, which threw the S.S. Says Who off course by 24 hours. Everyone in her house has been barfing, either literally or metaphorically. But she isn’t the only one sailing rough seas. The Good Ship Rudy has been rolling to and for on the waves. Poor Rudy! He must be so seasick! Luckily, his son and first mate, Andrew, is here...

Really really sorry. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It’s pub day for Maureen! Her new book is out! She seems . . . tired. Maybe a little confused. But Dan is here to perk her up by telling her about other new books. This does not work as well as he plans. Meanwhile, the ranging debate about which Trump child is least loved rages on. Then Maureen and Dan reminisce about their old jobs. Dan I can’t even remember what we talked about. Says Who is made...

July 6th, 1978. Four teenagers went into the woods one night. They did not return alive. What happened in Barlow Corners? Who put the counselors in the Box in the Woods? Want to know what happened? You can find out by reading The Box in the Woods. Visit maureenjohnson.com  for more information. Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

It’s under a week now until Maureen’s book is out, and Dan wants her to talk about it. Maureen is not so sure. Dan helps her by telling her tales of his own book experiences. Dan has a story to tell. Meanwhile, slash-desk is no more. RIP slash-desk, we barely knew ye. Where does a guy go when he doesn’t even have his slash-desk anymore? On the road! And apparently, to New Jersey! If a Trump goes t...

It’s summertime in SaysWhovia! The lawn chairs are out. The pool floats have been inflated. And Trump is back on his bullshit! Wait, what? Oh right. Time is a flat circle. Yes, he’s back! Ranting and raving in a way that is not at all concerning! By that, we mean… kind of concerning! It’s possible that the Trumpets are planning a little light treason. Nothing to worry about. Besides, Dan has big n...

Our friend Akilah has been back to Disneyland now that it's reopened after 14 months, and what a magical day she had .  Come, Sayswhovians, take a break from the unrelenting pace of news and just... enjoy yourself at the happiest place on earth.  Says Who is made possible by you, through your support of our Patreon at patreon.com/sayswho

We all developed new hobbies during lockdown. Maureen collected bins and drop-crotch jumpsuits. Dan made masks and relentlessly trolled Maureen about the state of New York politics. This is still his favorite! He does it ALL THE TIME. This was the biggest week yet for Dan’s new pastime. Andrew Guillani has entered the ring and Dan simply could not be more delighted. Maureen tries to deflect. There...

It’s a big week, SaysWhovia. Maureen has a guest. In her house. Someone is STAYING OVER. Because life is finding a way. Because he doesn’t want her to get too excited about the experience, Dan decides to tell Maureen all about the state of the mayoral race in New York City—a race in which no one seems to know anything except Andrew Yang. He’s going to be the winner! Dan is sure of it. Maureen is l...

Spring has come to SaysWhovia and the world is reopening! Maureen has gotten a hairdo! She went to a place! With a person! Dan also went to a place with a person, but for a different reason. Dan had a little accident. His foot is not 100% what it should be at the moment. Luckily, we know someone who is good with feet. Meanwhile, two prominent dirtbags have been caught dirtbagging—because these dum...

It’s happening, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen have had both of their shots. They got a little sleepy, but now they are thinking about reentering the world. No, really this time. It’s a whole new era! One filled with grocery stores, maybe not wearing a mask outside, perhaps sitting on a bench…that kind of thing! Sure, there will be a transition period. Dan has an inflatable couch for that. And Mauree...

Today’s episode is a little different. Dan and Maureen were about to record when the verdict came in, so they stopped until it was read. What follows is the immediate reaction to the verdict and a discussion of the strange, in-between times we live in. Also, Dan has been trolling Maureen, and eventually there is a discussion about celery. Content info : This episode, obviously, deals with the resu...

Could it be, SaysWhovia, that soon it will be time to rejoin the world? To dance and sing? Or, get dental care? Get gravy? Look out the window? Maureen and Dan are ready!  Well, they will be! Maybe! Give it time. Soon. Soon they will be. Just not yet.  So instead of traveling out, they travel back in time too when everyone smoked everywhere and things stank. Want to hear stories about eight year o...

What a week it has been, SaysWhovia. Dan and Maureen are a day later than norm, because Maureen had a book come out on Tuesday. She had to do 19 interviews, which means she had to talk a lot. Blah blah blah, all day long. She is behind on the news. Luckily, Dan has been paying attention! He has a story to tell her—a story about a man named Matt who did some very bad things. You may think you know...