Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS® with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor 7 WARNING SIGNS AND WAKE-UP CALLS THAT YOUR PARTNER MAY BE MORE THAN SELFISH You excuse. You rationalize. You justify. And, repeat. You think that if you are more understanding, loving, compassionate, or giving then the demands will stop. Not if you're with a Hijackal®! That's why it's so importa...

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS® with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor 4 SNEAKY SIGNS THAT MEAN LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP TROUBLE Something is wrong. It's off. It's sideways. You may not be able to put your finger on it, so let me help. You may be used to these things, and that's not a good thing! How did you get used to them? Maybe, a parent did them and you learned t...

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS® with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor 12 THINGS PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE ALWAYS DO, BUT DON'T OFTEN REALIZE. You want to be seen, know, loved, and valued . Of course, you do. Yet, you may be afraid to really enter into relationships. One way people think protects them from intimacy is to adopt passive-aggressive behaviors. You push...

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS® with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor There is something wrong, something off, in your relationship. You can feel it, and you may not be quite able to put words to it, to describe it to yourself even. Yet, you know it's not right! Good start! Go with your gut! Hijackals®, those relentlessly difficult, toxic, disturbing--and often dan...

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS® with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor Don't you just hate it when you feel manipulated? That's what happens far too often when you have a Hijackal in your life. And, you hope for better, but nothing really seems to change. Today, I'm talking about six subtle signs to watch for, signs that you are being manipulated . They're tricky to...

Sometimes they are hard to see... they don't really look red, or they're not very big... But don't ignore them. This quick episode will identify major red flags you NEED to pay attention to. Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \  I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT! If you want to learn more, share, ask question...

SAVE YOUR SANITY: HELP FOR HANDLING HIJACKALS® with Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor Today. I talk about what happens if you're raised by a toxic, difficult person . What are some of the things that you might look at within yourself and: the way your life is going the way your relationships are going the way you feel about yourself the way you expand or contract in the world That...

When you considering divorcing a toxic person, or when you ARE divorcing a #Hijackal, and you have children, there are many considerations that might be important in other divorces. #Hijackals MUST win. They don't really want the children as much as they want to have control over whether or not you have them. And, of course, they want control over the children, too. People--you and the children, i...

What You Need To Do For Your Kids When Co-Parenting With A Hijackal® Ex! A #Hijackal parent is not benign : s/he affects the way your children see themselves and think about themselves. The #Hijackal parent models behavior for children long before the child even has language. Your children have already seen too much, right? You've left, and removed yourself from the day-to-day influence of the Hij...

You parted ways with a toxic partner, a #Hijackal, maybe a narcissist. And, now s/he has come back, promising to be different and professing undying love? Or, you were discarded by a toxic partner. And, now you're lonely and hurting, and thinking that maybe it was all that bad? You're thinking of apologizing for nothing you did wrong because you're trauma-bonded. You know the answer is a flat-out...

Passive-aggressive behavior will drive you slowly round the bend! Foot-dragging, procrastinating, truth-evading behaviors! Crazy-making! Passive-aggressive people are often fearful of telling their truth the first time out. They will tell you what you want to hear in the moment, and then, when they don't follow through, they try and blame you for it. Crazy-making! I've written a few books on #pass...

#Hijackals, those relentlessly difficult, toxic people, want you to feel unsure of yourself. Keeping you on guard and off balance gives them a sense of power and control. I'm sure you don't want to give another person power and control over: who you are how you are what you do what you think what you feel what you need what you want and what you remember. Am I right? I'm sure I am. You're an adult...

Trust often seems impossible , but trust is absolutely necessary for a relationship to be successful . It's important to be able to calibrate your level of trust within a relationship consciously. Today, I'm using a example of how trust became a major issue in a mediation within a corporate team. Imagine how that translates into a love relationship. All the denial in the world cannot cover up the...

Is conflict something to be avoided? Are you uncomfortable around conflict ? How do you know when to confront ? Will you confront a difficulty head-on ? What about when someone's behavior is crazy-making , or someone's behavior is confusing ? What about when you're with a toxic person, when you're with a #Hijackal? Today's answer is to a question about setting boundaries with a person who is alway...

How do you learn to trust? How did you learn when you were young? Were you able to trust when young? Who did you trust? All the answers to those questions can be basic to how you trust others now. And, to your ability to trust yourself , too! If you've been with a difficult person, a toxic person, your ability to trust and your willingness to trust will need some attention. Today's BONUS episode i...

It's often a relief to be away from a toxic person, a #Hijackal. And, it's often totally terrifying to think of dating after you've left. In this BONUS session, I share some best next steps to consider when you're putting yourself back out in the dating world . It's important to know these things so that you can keep yourself safe while dating, to keep your heart safe while dating...especially aft...

Ever feel that you are walking on eggshells, waiting for the other show to drop, or becoming hypervigilant? Those things happen when you're raised by, or around one of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people I call #Hijackals®! Listeners can submit questions for me at SUBMIT . I'll answer them in a BONUS episode of Save Your Sanity, or on a video on my channel at YouTube! You don't want to--nor s...

Propinquity? Are you familiar with that word? It means "the state of being close to someone or something." You can be in someone's orbit, or in their presence. You can be passing in the night or close. One things for sure you want, though, is that you and that person are safe to be around, right? Are you endearing or endangering? Is that other person pretending to be endearing but it really endang...

Do you recognize a bully at work? Do you make excuses for their behavior, justify it? How long have you been doing that? What can you do about it? Depending on your background and experience, you may or may not feel comfortable actually handling a bully at work . You may have learned to passively put up with one. Or, you may actually be afraid of them. You want to feel comfortable about being asse...

Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 \  I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT! If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships, join my Support Circle now. Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program +...

Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals® from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor Passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating, infuriating, and frankly...unfair! And, passive-aggressive behavior is sneaky ! In fact, so sneaky that you're often caught up in thinking that it actually makes some sense...at first, or for a while. Then, it dawns on you: Something's no...

ALIENATION is way too common when you have to deal with the whims, power, and control a relentlessly difficult, toxic person. In today's episode, the segment "It Happened to Me", my anonymous guest offers the story of how her adult son--a #Hijackal--caught her off-guard and proceeded to blame her in outrageous ways . This is too common with adult children with Hijackal behaviors . They want to rul...

Walking on eggshells comes to mind when you're concerned about always being blamed? Is that how it feels to you? Healthy relationships don't have you walking on eggshells ! Being constantly blamed is red flag that you may be with a relentlessly difficult person , one of those people I call #Hijackals ®, And, of course, you may not be with a #Hijackal. Your partner may have other issues s/he is dea...

Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals® from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor Is your relationship bringing you love, safety, trust, respect, and emotional intimacy ? Or, has it become one that goes along all right as long as you both walk on eggshells? Is it somewhere in the middle? What's going on? It could be that one or both of you have been set up to settle for...

Today's Save Your Sanity Podcast: Help for Handling Hijackals® from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor When you are in a difficult relationship , you can certainly have more ups and downs than are comfortable. Those roller coasters can take so much energy that you're exhausted. Dr. Shaler answers a reader's question about a roller coaster relationship. Good relationship advice. If y...