Sanctuary for the Misfits of God Podcast

Turns Out I’m a Renunciate Afterall The themes of this essay were rooted in such intense emotional breaking open, so it’s odd to be sitting here threading it together from a place of ease and peace. The intense emotional openings are the quilt pieces of a blanket and the peace is the thread integrating it all. The calm after the storm. My last Sanctuary writings were over a month ago. During that...

Welcome back to the Sanctuary for the Misfits of God with Saisha Ma. Today, I am recording this in a place that I have never really been willing to record from. The sacred edge of choice… of addiction. That point where my skin is crawling and everything inside me wants to disappear into a bottle. Everything inside me wants relief. Everything inside me wants to just make that choice one more time....

Hello everyone. Welcome to the Sanctuary with Saisha Ma. I was not planning on sending something today, mainly because it’s been an interesting day and I’m in an interesting space right now. For whatever reason, I still think that I have to be in a certain frequency or a certain ability or permission. Like I need to be something for whoever is listening or reading what I put out. And I’m currently...

As I was preparing to create my next iteration for The Living Rhythm, I found myself moving through a common pattern I experience when preparing content. This happens especially when I’m feeling a lot of responsibility or shame over having not produced “enough.” This pattern begins with a deep craving to get some greasy food or do something excitingly “bad.” Often I push these thoughts away while...

Welcome back to the Sanctuary — to the misfits, the rebels, the queers, the sensitive ones, all those big bold hearts out there. I am here breathing post dual ceremony — which has been a long two years coming. Before anything else, I want to offer clarity around the Sanctuary and Living Rhythm now that both are fully live on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Everything is simplified. The Sanctuary remai...

Welcome back to the Sanctuary —for the misfits, the rebels, the sensitive ones, the big bold-hearted, the queers, the unique ones. This is my first time just letting something come through without structuring it first. We’ll see how it goes. Maybe I won’t even send this. Maybe I’ll change it. I don’t know. I’m playing with this energy. 🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷🪷 The Wellness Industry Isn’t Collapsing. The I...

I want to share from the middle again. Not from the healed place, not from the regulated place, not from the version of me that knows exactly what to do. From the place that is tight. This week has been contraction, irritability, overwhelm. That familiar oscillation of softening and hardening, vigilance and retreat, in and out of safety like a door that won’t stay open. I’ve been working on the ne...

Sanctuary for the Misfits of God is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free, paid, or founding subscriber. There’s a strange thing that happens when the struggle ends. Not enlightenment. Not arrival. Just the quiet disappearance of the pressure you’ve been organizing your life around. Since coming home from India, I’ve been living inside t...

Hello Soul Fam, Something big happened this morning. And I want to tell you before it loses its charge. I’m going to see Ma’s Ashram today… her actual MahaSamadhi home. Her teaching ground. Her threshold. Her lineage home. And as I journaled at breakfast this morning, this little knot of fear showed up: What if I don’t feel her? What if all of this…the connection, the guidance… What if I made it u...

My last two days in Varkala I had envisioned as celebration, ease, and lightness. What I ended up getting was excruciating heart opening, massive amounts of grief, and shedding of ancestral weight. I had planned a particular restaurant that was further away and it carried the energy of luxury and pampering. I was going to spend the day on the South side of the beach so I packed my weather-torn bac...

I woke up this morning trying to “show up” for Substack, but the truth is—I woke up bleeding and agitated. I wanted to be the good news in someone’s inbox on a day that many of us don’t even resonate with anymore. And yet there I was… trying to force myself into momentum, into service, into writing something that made me feel like I mattered. Like I wouldn’t be forgotten amongst all the noise out...

The truth I have inside is that I’m not sure I have one. I’m not sure I’m anything more than a bundle of confused and entangled thoughts that spar with each other in an endless loop. I say I stand for rebellion. I say I don’t fit in. I say I own my autonomy and refuse to bend toward the world of “normal.” And then I sit in a café for hours longing to be inside the easy, breezy conversation next to...

I came to India knowing I would have to face my deepest wounds. But knowing something is very different from experiencing it. There is a vision in my mind of who I am…And my, what a vision she is. SHE encounters fear with unquestionable faith. SHE moves through challenges with ease, grace, and perfect teachings. SHE somehow feels worthy enough to build stability, and doesn’t apologize for wanting...

How does one create freedom while only knowing imprisonment? What does community look like for those of us who have learned to embrace misfit, rebel, and queer in this world? Can connection cohabitate with freedom? Can a group of souls who never feel like they belong, create a space where they don’t have to in order to come home? Let’s find out shall we! Beloved Misfit, I’m writing to you from the...

I recorded this message on a quiet morning, heart open and trembling. It’s raw — not polished, not planned — but it felt like the right way to begin. This is the seed of the Sanctuary for the Misfits of God — a space for those of us who’ve felt like we had to apologize for existing. For those who have been both the learner and the guide at once. 🎧 Listen to the full 8-minute audio above The Apolo...