Respected & Connected: Practical Conversations for Couples Who Want Real Partnership

Have you ever caught yourself asking your partner for permission to do something? Or have you found yourself trying to convince them to see something your way so that they will go along with your plan? Maybe you've received some feedback that paints you in a negative light and you're catching yourself ruminating over whether or not the feedback is warranted and how to get that person back on your...

Do you struggle to give feedback, even when your feedback could help someone address an important issue? Or, is it harder to receive feedback...especially when that feedback isn't given in a careful and considerate way? Get the full shownotes and links to the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-62

Women often have a lot on their plates. Too much most of the time. And often, it feels like a losing battle to ask for some help. In this episode, I share four do's and don'ts for creating a more balanced and supportive relationship.  Get the full shownotes and links to the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-61

Sometimes the communication dynamics that we grew up with are so familiar to us that we don't recognize how unhealthy they are. One of these dynamics is what I call "should-ing." You can tell that you're "should-ing" on someone when you've already thought of several reasons why this person "should" believe or behave the way that you do before you start a conversation with them. Get the full showno...

I started hearing people use the word "surrender" a couple of years ago and I thought to myself, who wants that? I see myself as a confident and assertive woman and surrender feels weak and disempowering. For a while, I've been thinking there must be something that I'm missing here. Because people I really respect are finding value in surrender…so what is it? Listen to this short episode on the di...

So often, we feel stuck before we even have the conversation because we're trying to figure out the right words to say. But saying the right words isn't what makes a conversation go smoothly. It's more about what's beneath the words we say that really matters. Listen to this episode to learn what three things are most likely to cause you communication problems and what you can do instead. Get the...

Are you always running short on time? Do your priorities always seem to take a back seat to everyone else? Listen to this episode to learn three important lessons from those who master time management. You'll learn three questions you can ask yourself to get the insight you need to take back control of your time. Get the full shownotes and links to the resources mentioned at keeptalkingrevolutionp...

We're trying out a new "Five Minute Friday" series and this is our first episode. Today I'm sharing some insights and experiences with asking for what you want. So often - too often - we give up or get frustrated when we aren't getting what we need. That doesn't have to be the case. I'm helping my kids and my clients learn how to be both patient and persistent in asking for what they want. Get the...

Mario and I started meeting with Sara Thingvold at the beginning of the year to create our couple & family portrait. In this episode of the podcast, Mario and I share our portrait, what our experiences were creating the portrait, and how this guiding document has already helped us move through some previously sticky situations more gracefully. I shared the image of our family portrait on social me...

A family portrait - as described in this episode of the podcast - is a tool for determining the shared vision, values, dreams, goals, and purpose of your family relationships. "Envisioning with the end in mind and leaving a legacy we are proud of is really what a family portrait is all about," Sara says. Four outcomes that a portrait can bring for a couple is increased: self-awareness and awarenes...

If bringing up a need or making a request feels hard and heavy, listen to Nathan Schechter describe how the simple formula for Non-Violent Communication (NVC for short) can help you navigate both the emotion and logic of any conversation. NVC is an approach to communication, based on principles of nonviolence. It is not a technique to end disagreements, but rather a method designed to increase emp...

I have an ongoing fantasy where my partner does something that bugs me, I calmly tell him, "That was lame" and he looks at me and says, "You're absolutely right! I understand why you feel that way. I can't believe I didn't realize that." And if you're like most of us, you realize that my communication fantasy is about as unrealistic as most other fantasies we have for love and romance. Addressing...

This episode is part 2 of a two-part series on the differences between complementarian and egalitarian marriages. I invited Bruce Pagano to come back on the podcast and talk about an idea that is prevalent both within religious communities and in everyday life - the idea that men and women are better suited to specific roles within a relationship and within communities. Often these beliefs aren't...

Most of us enter relationships knowing less about what we want in a relationship than we know about what we want in a house, a job, or a car. In this episode, I share an analogy for relationship growth and a few tips for creating a clearer, more compelling vision for your relationships: Identify a relationship to focus on. What do you like about it? What do you want to be different? How will these...

This episode is part 1 of a two-part series on the differences between complementarian and egalitarian marriages. I invited Bruce Pagano to come back on the podcast and talk about an idea that is prevalent both within religious communities and in everyday life - the idea that men and women are better suited to specific roles within a relationship and within communities. Often these beliefs aren't...

Liz Solar and I share a conversation about the power of slowing down and taking time to understand each other, giving second chances, being curious, and not letting disagreements ruin our relationships. Get the full shownotes and links to resources mentioned at https://keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.com/ep-48

Bad habits creep into the best of relationships from time to time. ​ What if you treated these red-flag moments like an opportunity to "re-calibrate" instead of getting stuck in resentment, frustration, and blame? According to Dr. John Gottman, these are the six most common signs that a relationship is headed for trouble.  Harsh Start-ups: When one or both individuals bring things up in a negative...

Has your view of what makes a happy relationship changed with experience? What if you're focused on making your relationship better and you feel like nothing is changing, or things are even getting worse? If you focus on: Correcting your partner's character flaws Creating more shared activities, and Doing conflict the "right way"  at the expense of embracing the fact that two imperfect people can...

Why do men avoid relationships in favor of video games? Our guest, Chris Marhefka, shares some insights into the masculine brain and how women can motivate and inspire their male partners to engage in their relationships instead of disappearing to play video games or other "zoned out" activities. Taking a deep look at ourselves when we're already in pain in our relationships is hard, courageous, a...

Without a little help, our guest Dr. Tom Murray proposes that we lose our lust for our partner twice as quickly as we lose our like for our partner. In Dr. John Gottman's work, a huge focus is placed on friendship and fondness for one another. But Dr. Murray suggests that friendship and healthy intimacy don't always go hand in hand. Listen to this episode for new insights and perspectives on how t...

Can a relationship recover from infidelity? Our guest Dr. John Fite says, "It depends." Like most things in a relationship, there are forces outside our control. But don't give up too quickly because there are proven tools for making a marriage or committed relationship even better after a significant betrayal such as infidelity. In this episode, Dr. John Fite talks about what each partner has to...

What is the purpose and meaning of your relationship? In the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work - Gottman finishes the seven principles with the principles of Creating Shared Meaning. There are four pillars described in the Seven Principles Book: Rituals of Connection Support for Each Other's Roles Shared Goals Shared Values and Symbols Our guest, Alicia Montemurro, explains so well how cre...

What do you do when the same problem keeps coming up over and over again in your relationship? This is a sign that you are either headed toward gridlock or you are already there. Whether or not you're in full gridlock, there are some helpful tools for dealing with the perpetual conflicts that come up in every relationship. So while you can't necessarily stop your mother-in-law from dropping by una...

Every couple has irreconcilable differences in their relationship. Often these issues are avoided or result in frequent arguments and disagreements. In this episode, Janika Veasley joins us to talk about managing perpetual conflict without sweeping things under the rug or constantly caving to your partner's preferences and perspectives. We discuss the nuances of compromise and the difference betwe...

Even though most relational conflict is perpetual (69% according to Gottman's research). There are times when problems can be solved and you can move on. In this episode of Keep Talking Revolution, Josh Greep joins me to talk about recognizing solvable conflict and some tools to use for effective problem-solving. The skills that work are: A softened startup – complain but don't blame Making and re...