Respected & Connected: Practical Conversations for Couples Who Want Real Partnership

It's becoming more and more common that the standard for a good marriage is intimacy, not longevity. How do you make the shift to a more intimate marriage after you've been hurt, rejected, or just slipped into the daily monotony of life, kids, and careers? Listen to this episode for three tips to increase intimacy in your marriage and the one truth about intimacy that will help you move forward ev...

How do you maintain intimacy in a long-term relationship? This can be such a loaded question. But it's an important question. Because now, more than ever, couples want more than just a relationship based on sharing the responsibilities of taking care of a family plus sex in acceptable intervals. Family life educator Amberly Lambertson joins us on the podcast to talk about some natural and comforta...

Following up on last week's episode on differentiation, Sharon talks about some of her experiences working through mismatched expectations and conflict over household responsibilities in her marriage. She shares: How being the "golden child" set her up for a habit of over-functioning in marriage How she focused on her own growth and personal work, even when Mario's behavior was unacceptable What's...

Not all couples therapists agree on the right way to resolve marital conflict​ Traditionally the idea has been that taking a more accommodating stance will improve the relationship. But often, the pressure to accommodate each other can limit our growth and get in the way of true intimacy and satisfaction.  If you want a relationship where you feel truly seen, heard, and valued as an individual fir...

If I were to give you my best advice about relationships and whether or not now is the time to put a lot of effort into your relationship development, this is the main question I would ask… "Would you be able to continue with how things are right now indefinitely?" If the answer is no (which it has been for me several times over the course of my 10-year marriage) this episode is for you. In this e...

A year end wrap up for the Keep Talking Revolution Podcast. We talk about the Respected + Connected program, what I've learned in my business and how it impacts my personal life, popular episodes and posts, and what's coming in 2023.   Schedule a 15-minute call to apply to join Respected + Connected by January 6th: respectedanconnected.com   Listen to this year's most popular episode: keeptalkingr...

Have you ever read a marriage book that came highly recommended to you and it just fell flat? Maybe you start to wonder "what's wrong with me…or what's wrong with us that this thing that has been so helpful for someone else isn't working for us?" Today on the podcast I'm talking about a very popular and often misused marriage book. I'm going to tell you why I think it's so popular, when I think it...

RESPECTED AND CONNECTED IS CURRENTLY OPEN FOR ENROLLMENT. Find out more and schedule a free 15-minute call to apply at respectedanconnected.com . This week on the podcast, Sarah George shares her experience participating in the Respected + Connected program and how it's changed her marriage.   Sarah shares: How she's learned how to communicate with her husband in a more honest and unscripted way H...

When a relationship feels like too much work the advice to "keep working on yourself" can feel dismissive and insensitive.   In this episode, we talk about what to do when working on a relationship feels like rowing a boat with one oar and how to keep up your end of the deal without overdoing it.   Get the full show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at  keeptalkingrevolutionpodcast.co...

Liliam Llanos is a trauma resolution coach who works with individuals on trauma resolution and trains other coaches and practitioners in scientific approaches to trauma resolution.    Working on trauma resolution has helped Liliam feel a sense of optimism for the future and stability in her day to day life. But before she could even do the work of trauma resolution, she had to recognize that what...

Trauma can make relationships tricky, particularly when we depend on those who hurt us to be part of our healing. If traumatic experiences are making it difficult to feel safe and connected with the people you care about, this episode is for you. I share a few non-expert insights on trauma, healing, and finding security and peace even when the people who hurt us aren't able to comprehend their imp...

This week on the podcast I share an interview I did with Vauna Byrd for her Joyful Family Talks Program. We talk about:       How our fear and hesitation to speak up impacts our relationships       The unexpected ways that I learned how to approach my husband with my complaints and concerns       How I've learned to use my engineering skills to troubleshoot relationship challenges       Why therap...

The first question I asked Allyson on the podcast this week was, "What does it mean to lead with feminine energy and how is it empowering?" Allyson shares: What feminine energy is and what it's not Why men and women need both feminine and masculine energies How leading with feminine energy can help us to feel more present and fulfilled in our relationships Get Allyson's free gift: "Feminine and Ma...

Every person who struggles with a difficult relationship wants to know what it really takes to save the relationship without losing themselves. Join me this week as I talk about what I have learned from my years of struggling with hostility and resentment in my marriage. And how we have gotten to the point where we can confidently work through any conflict. Listen to this episode to learn: The dif...

Do you find yourself overthinking what to say and how to say it in a hard conversation? I'm releasing this bonus episode to walk you through my new free guide. After I taught this recently at a women's retreat, one of the participants told me, " A few days after I learned this I had a conversation with my oldest daughter, that I could tell was not going to end well unless I changed something quick...

Is the phrase "Happy Wife, Happy Life" helpful or not? Today's guest Arno Koch says "it depends." We do have a lot of influence on our partner's happiness. And we have responsibility for how we feel. Arno and I discuss the paradox of dependency in our romantic relationships, how we can support each other's happiness, and what it means to depend on each other as relationships become more of a choic...

Do you ever hesitate to bring something up because you're afraid of getting sucked into another unproductive conversation? In this episode, you'll learn how to approach important conversations so that you can talk about what really matters, solve problems, and focus on creating connection and understanding instead of arguing, shutting down, or running away before the issue is resolved. When you co...

When you're feeling frustrated in a relationship, it can be easy to assume that the problem is you. Maybe you're just not lovable. At least not to your person. This week's guest Stacy Perry says that this type of thinking is not helpful. Instead, she suggests that believing you are lovable, just as you are, is the key to getting the relationship you want. While some people may think that believing...

When I was 19 years old, I had a painful and tumultuous relationship that lasted about 8 months. Looking back, I can see that if I had known how to handle my disappointments in the moment I could have saved myself a lot of grief. If I were to go back and coach my 19 year old self on how to handle these hard conversations, these five tips are what I would share. Know your message State your intenti...

Vauna Byrd thought that everything in her marriage was going great. She had three little ones and was starting to feel like she and her husband were more financially stable and secure. Then, the police showed up at her door and she discovered that her husband had been involved with a teenage girl. Everyone told her that divorce was her only option. But something inside of her encouraged her to hol...

We've all found ourselves in situations where we feel like we're losing in our relationships. And maybe we feel a little bit better when we tell ourselves, "That's OK. If someone's going to suffer it might as well be me." Or even, "That's OK. I'll get my turn next time." These are examples of win/lose mindsets and over time this approach compromises our ability to really connect with the people th...

What does it mean to live life on purpose, how do we do it, and what happens when we do it? Lara Johnson joins me on the podcast to talk about how to live a more joyful life even when the day-to-day things haven't necessarily changed. It all starts with discovering your purpose - who you really are - and then living it. Lara shares a few great questions to help you discover your purpose. You can g...

What if you stopped worrying about the possibility of saying the wrong thing and instead learned how to recover from the inevitable communication mis-steps that come along with being human? You can learn a lot from conversations that don't go the way you'd like them to, which is why I believe it's impossible to say the wrong thing. So, instead of focusing on trying not to say the wrong thing, why...

One of the quickest ways to feel less stuck in a relationship is to evaluate how you're defining success. If your success is dependent on how the other person responds to you, whether you can convince them or get them to respect your boundaries, you're often going to feel frustrated and unsuccessful. If however, you redefine success to mean that you are satisfied with how you are showing up when t...

Have you ever tried to help someone that was being really resistant to your help? You can see what they need and how you can help them, but they don't really see or appreciate what you have to offer. And when you keep trying to help someone who is resisting your help, it can create a lot of tension in the relationship. Helping someone change something about themselves is very delicate territory, a...