Respected & Connected: Practical Conversations for Couples Who Want Real Partnership

You want more from your relationship—more help, more emotional presence, more follow-through. And somehow, every attempt to get there turns into the same frustrating loop: you push, they resist, and now you're in a power struggle instead of a partnership. It's exhausting. And it leaves you wondering whether the problem is what you're asking for—or how you're asking for it. In this episode: Why wan...

Many struggling couples use the same phrase: "I don't feel safe." Sometimes that's absolutely true. But more often, what people mean is something closer to: I don't like how this interaction feels. I feel uncomfortable, destabilized, or emotionally off balance—and I need you to respond differently so I can feel okay again. But when one partner becomes responsible for stabilizing the other, the rel...

Relationships don't just change when your partner grows. They change when you do. And sometimes the hardest part of relationship growth isn't learning new communication skills. It's realizing that certain patterns, roles, and even relationships themselves can't continue the way they once did. In this episode, Sharon returns to the podcast after a year-long pause to share what's been happening behi...

In this final episode before the break, Sharon Costanzo reflects on her year, the thought-provoking books and stories that are on her mind, and how it paints her unique perspective as a woman navigating a world dominated by patriarchal structures. Sharon reflects on recent events, including Blake Lively and Jason Baldoni, the overturning of Donald Trump's sexual assault case, and the broader chall...

The holidays can be a challenging time for many women, who often find themselves feeling unappreciated and overwhelmed. In this episode of Respected and Connected, Sharon Costanzo explores why this is such a common experience and how to navigate it with grace and confidence.  Sharon dives into how phrases like "should" can reinforce harmful societal constructs—and why saying "It means a lot to me"...

In this reflective episode of Respected & Connected, Sharon Costanzo announces that the podcast will be going on hold and shares powerful lessons she's learned along the way. Drawing from her own experiences in business and life, Sharon offers actionable insights on maintaining relational integrity and making aligned decisions. Sharon explores the importance of defining what you want, recognizing...

In this episode, Sharon discusses three levels of expressing your needs to your partner—invitation, request, and demand — and how each approach is based on how important the issue is to you. Consider these three tools to frame requests in a way that fosters collaboration and mutual respect, helping your partner feel engaged and successful in meeting your needs. Connect with Sharon: Website: https:...

Schedule a Gridlock Breakthrough Session and get the clarity and confidence you need to address a relationship challenge: https://www.respectedandconnected.com/gridlock --- Would you be surprised to know that aspects of engineering can be applied to strengthen relationships? Our Guest today, Gabriela Embon, shares with us how the mindset of an engineer can help you set goals, troubleshoot issues,...

Have you ever heard of Relational Life Therapy? It's an incredible tool in couple's therapy! In this episode Sharon takes a moment to describe what Relational Life Therapy is, how it confronts gender norms and empowers couple's to approach each other on an equal field. Learn how RLT can help you show up with love and authenticity to deepen your connection with your partner, and yourself. Website a...

Have you ever wondered how your past relationships have shaped your emotional responses to your partner?  This episode explores the four different relationship attachment styles. Our Guest today is Bev Mitelman M.A., the founder of Securely Loved. Bev and Sharon dive into attachment styles, and how those subconscious patterns affect how we perceive conflict with our loved ones. Learn about the fou...

Tired of feeling let down or resentful in your relationships?  This episode explores the hidden power of disappointment. Sharon dives deep into common mistakes we make when dealing with unmet expectations.  Learn practical skills like the "Feedback Wheel" and "Soft Startup" to transform conflict into connection. Discover how to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms and communicate your needs effective...

Is unconditional love a worthwhile aspiration or an unrealistic expectation? In this episode, Zach Beach shares his insights on the concept of unconditional love and how it can be navigated alongside the necessary boundaries in various relationships. He emphasizes the importance of setting intentions and aspirations, the significance of integrating both the relative and absolute aspects of our hum...

Do you ever hold back in asking for what you want in your relationship because you're not sure if your expectations are reasonable? I hear this all the time. And while I sometimes think that people do have unrealistic expectations of their intimate relationships, I also think that we're asking the wrong question. In this episode, we discuss:  A few guiding principles for understanding and communic...

Men…do you know what your partner needs to feel safe & provided for in today's relationships? Because it has changed. Kristal DeSantis is a marriage and family therapist who specializes in men's issues. She's the author of the book Strong: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man. And she's on the podcast today to talk about some of the ideas and concepts she's learned from working with men a...

What do you do when you're doing your best to use good relationship skills and your partner isn't responding well? If you've ever felt like things go wrong no matter how hard you try, this episode is for you. Topics discussed:  Understanding relationship phases - love without knowledge, knowledge without love, and knowing love Identifying common reactions to unmet expectations Choosing healthier s...

Have you ever used a personality test to help you understand your partner or your relationship better? Today's guest Laurel Roberts-Meese is a therapist who uses the enneagram with individuals and couples to help them understand their fears, motivations, and behaviors better. Topics discussed:  The nine enneagram types, their fears, and motivations The enneagram as a trauma informed personality ty...

One question that I get often as a relationship coach is - when should someone see a professional for help with their relationship? A lot of us have an idea of the BIG things that end most relationships like abuse and infidelity, but what about everything else? What about couples that just feel stuck, aren't feeling close, fight too much…but don't know if things are bad enough to warrant investing...

Hear Sharon on the other end of the mic in this conversation with hosts of the Couples Therapy in Seven Words podcast.  Topics discussed:  Sharon's personal journey navigating cultural expectations, pursuing a career in engineering, and advocating for a more equitable relationship Navigating gender role conflicts Advocating for yourself by "calling in" instead of "calling out" Website and Linktree...

Have you ever wondered why you and your partner can view the same situation so differently? You can't even agree about what happened and how you should handle it. Trying to make up that difference and get on the same page can be absolutely mind boggling. Today's guest, Thais Gibson, is here to help. We're talking about attachment styles and understanding your relationship through an attachment len...

Do you hate feeling resentful toward your partner and not knowing what to do about it? Resentment is a tricky emotion. It tells you that something is wrong, but it's not very good at helping you move forward.  It's not fair to you or your partner to stay stuck in resentment. So today I'm sharing five ways to overcome resentment in your marriage, so that you can start enjoying and appreciating your...

We hear all the time that co-parenting with your ex is hard. And it seems almost inevitable that you're going to be arguing and maybe even taking each other to court often between the time that you split until the kids have all grown. Our guest today - Julia Hoffman - says it doesn't have to be that way. You can choose to have a different kind of coparenting relationship, starting with taking full...

We hear all the time that marriage is work. But nobody is talking about what that work is, how to work with a less enthusiastic partner, when what you've got is as good as it gets, or when to shift gears and try something else. In this episode, Sharon breaks down her four part framework for realistic, lasting relationship growth.   Topics Discussed: How to figure out what relationship advice to fo...

What should you do if you're unhappy enough in your marriage to consider divorce?  Divorce is expensive, it's messy, and complicated. And it's hard for kids. But staying in a marriage that isn't working is also a really hard and painful way to live. Anna Howerton joins the podcast to talk about navigating the divorce contemplation phase. Listen to learn about what to do when you're contemplating d...

Would you like to learn how to set boundaries around difficult behavior without creating more drama?  In this episode, we dive into the often discussed but misunderstood concept of boundaries. Sharon shares some ideas for de-escalating and neutralizing offensive behavior without being punitive or provocative.  Website and Linktree:  Get the full show notes and links to the resources mentioned at h...

Let's face it. Most of us haven't been taught how to do conflict well. And our lack of skill in tough conversations can really wreak havoc on our relationships. In this episode, host Sharon Costanzo talks to Kat Newport about the principles from her book Smart Conflict. Kat has done some brilliant work identifying and teaching the core skills for navigating conflict. Not only is her process simple...