RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Show Notes: I used to have this weird mindset where I didn’t want to think about the week ahead too much because I was afraid of jinxing it or manifesting something bad happening. But I had no idea what manifesting was, so it wasn’t thought about like that. But it was just so odd to fear looking at the week ahead. I think it was because I was enduring so much pain & trauma on the regular that...

Show Notes: I didn’t start doing this well until I got into college. I was doing this as early as childhood because it’s necessary when your life is filled with trauma. You gotta see what YOU need to change to survive a little better. But outside of doing it for the sake of survival & people pleasing, it has been so helpful for me to review what I did to prepare for whatever was coming up and...

Show Notes: Emotion, emotion, emotion. That was my whole thing when I had to deal with a sucky situation. It’s because I never learned how to properly regulate my emotions. So, whether it was someone going after my family (despite the hot mess it was), my friends or me, I was ready to fight. And I could fight really well with my emotions. It was my stronger weapon. I used to (proudly, sadly) tell...

Show Notes: Growing up I fell asleep to the radio. Really any kind of music because my whole childhood was filled with music constantly and it’s why it’s such an important part of my life. So much that I fell asleep to smooth jazz in a sleeping bag on the floor of my dad’s radio station. And that habit continued through my entire life, up until I got married. Even now, it’s something I do when I n...

As someone that grew up using manipulation as a way to survive my abusive life, I knew how best to use judgments. The best way to use judgments was to use those against the judger.  It was simple. Befriend them to know who & what they were judging, then turn around & passive aggressively judge them for those same things. (Judgment: They live in a poor neighborhood. Manipulation: “Yeah, not...

Show Notes: I didn’t start REALLY loving myself until we bought our first home. It’s difficult for me to remember what age I was, but I knew it was when we purchased our first home because that’s when I started to do more things I was interested in and less for everyone else. The year was 2015, so that would make me almost 30. Wow. So yeah, I was late to the party on taking care of yourself for mo...

Show Notes: I don’t really have a personal story to share specifically about this topic, except that I am a recovering people pleaser. But I did take a moment to reflect on how I often would love others more than myself, but I rarely saw that reflected back. And that doesn’t lead me to be upset or even disappointed, but it does prove that self-awareness allows you to see things on a deeper level t...

The biggest reason to keep promises to yourself is the added effect of becoming more confident while doing so. I'm sharing more about that & other tips & knowledge in today's episode. Show Notes: This topic came about after watching Courtney Shields’ stories on Instagram during a Q&A sesh. Someone had asked her how she is able to be so confident on the regular & the first...

We all know that distractions just get in our way of completing whatever needs to get done, but despite knowing this, we STILL allow distractions to take us away from whatever is highest priority at the moment. These distractions could be our family, friends, wandering thoughts, socials, or anything we suddenly find to do in the moment because we are putting off what we know needs to happen. Today...

Show Notes: I would often create as many excuses (that I liked to call reasons but we all know those weren’t reasons) as possible to not have time to work on myself. It’s a pretty great strategy because more often than not people will take the help you offer them. It was me being a people pleaser at my best. But, we all know it’s not the healthiest thing to do. For us to become our best selves &am...

When we decide to neglect everything about ourselves & ONLY focus on others, it isn't some selfless deed. It's actually self-abandonment. Show Notes: I was on Twitter & saw a tweet from my new favorite psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera, speaking on self-abandonment. This was her quote, “Putting everyone else’s needs before your own isn’t selfless, it’s self abandonment. Society glo...

Unhealthy habits often prevent us from achieving our goals & becoming our best selves every day. Taking action to shift your unhealthy habits into healthy habits is the best way to create habits that are aligned with your goals. Here are 5 tips to help you shift. Show Notes: One of the most unhealthy habits that I have been working on shifting into a healthier habit is People Pleasing. You mig...

Did you know that it's NOT our choices that dictate our lives, but our HABITS?? And for this to work the best it can, we need to figure out our habits aligning with our goals. Here are 5 tips on how to create habits that align with our goals. Show Notes: There was a quote I saw recently speaking on the idea that it isn’t our choices that lead us to accomplish & achieve our goals, it’s our...

You aren’t actually stuck in life. You’re just focusing on the wrong things for THIS season of life & you’ve outgrown the way you experience success & need to make changes. Here are 5 tips on what to do to get unstuck. Show Notes: Recently my mindset changed on feeling stuck: You aren’t actually stuck in life. You’re just focusing on the wrong things for THIS season of life & you’ve ou...

We cannot expect only one person in our lives (including our spouse) to shoulder all of our problems, struggles & burdens. It's too much to bear. We need a network of people for support. I'm giving 5 reasons why this is true in this episode. Show Notes: Last week I had a mental health crisis. It sounds so weird to call it that, but that’s what it’s called when you start to deteriorat...

Any time you have questioned why things are the way they are, the answer is usually because you are tolerating it. You are doing nothing to contribute to stopping it. It's true.  So if you'd like to learn more about how we are allowing things to happen & tips on how to STOP doing it, this episode is for you. Show Notes: No one else, in the world, is going to prioritze you taking time...

Instead of allowing ourselves to keep obsessing over something that has happened & takes up so much space & emotions in our minds, it's best to find a way to stop it in its tracks & move on from it until any real action can be taken. I have 5 questions to ask yourself that will help with this. Show Notes: I struggled to come up with a topic that I was in the mood to really chat ab...

Anger isn't a bad thing if it's expressed in a healthy way. But if we don't know the best way to manage it, we can allow it to control us instead of us keeping it in control. Here are 5 tips on How to Manage Your Anger. Show Notes: Sometimes it feels like anger can just sneak up on us. We don’t even see it coming and then BAM! We are feeling angry. And whether that’s because somethi...

Learning how to deal with your anger is really important, but you'll be able to manage it better if you know where it originates from. Here are 5 tips on how to determine where your anger comes from. Show Notes: Looking back, I think a lot of my anger stemmed from not being truly seen by others, not getting enough attention from my parents, feeling like I couldn’t ask for help and failing to...

Learning how to manage your insecurities will limit distractions from self-growth, getting in the way of changes we are making, and accomplishing your goals, especially goals that require stepping outside of your comfort zone. We got 5 tips on how to manage your insecurities. Show Notes: It takes a lot of honesty to admit to yourself what you are struggling with and what needs to change. But once...

Sometimes we don't even realize we are experiencing insecurities because what we are going through feels so normal or not a big deal. But the sooner we determine what we are struggling with, the sooner we can take action to manage it. Here are 5 signs you're struggling with feeling insecure. Show Notes: Being insecure was like a past time for me growing up. We all know I was a hard core...

These tips may not be wildly different than ones I would give in a generalized chat about anxiety, but it's all about the perspective that we see our struggles through & how these tips can be shifted to serve us in that way. Here are 5 tips for managing anxiety as a mom. Show Notes: I sometimes blame myself for how badly my kiddo deals with anxiety because I truly believe she learned it f...

Anxiety can be a struggle for anyone, but it can be helpful to drill down on why anxiety is a struggle by seeing it from your specific perspective. This is why we have 5 possible reasons why moms struggle with anxiety & seeing it from the motherhood experience. Show Notes: I had already struggled with anxiety before becoming a mother. It was something I dealt with because of my need to fit in...

Instead of relying on others to tell you what you should do & being addicted to external validation, it's best to develop trust in yourself to know what decision is best for you, even if it turns out to not be exactly correct. Here are 5 tips on how to start trusting yourself. Show Notes: I used to have this bad habit of asking so many people for advice to figure out what I should do in l...

There is a difference between NEEDING to be liked & wanting to be likable. One is based on wanting to develop relationships & the other is more based in people pleasing behaviors & mindsets. Here are 6 tips on how to become more likable. Show Notes: Let me start by saying that I don’t mean this in a people pleaser-y type of way AT ALL. There is a difference between needing to be liked...