Real Over Ideal

Here's a great episode published a little over a year ago that always matters in the summertime. If you're a person who knows the summertime blues or have a loved one who feels this way-- help is on the way in this updated episode. Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review...

Uncover and Rewrite Your Emotional Homeowners Association Rules In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin explores how subconscious "rules"—much like HOA bylaws—govern our emotions and behaviors, often causing stress and guilt. She offers practical strategies to identify outdated or unhelpful rules and update them to better serve our current lives. Key Topics: The metaphor of emotional HOAs and...

Embracing Imposter Syndrome: A Personal Reflection with Vanessa Gorelkin In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin openly shares her recent struggles with procrastination and imposter syndrome, providing a candid behind-the-scenes look at confronting self-doubt. It’s a relatable deep dive into understanding and managing imposter feelings, especially for high-achievers and those navigating new challenges....

Understanding the Bounce Back Tax: Why High-Functioning Days Leave You Drained Ever had a day where everything seems to go perfectly, only to crash the next morning? This episode breaks down the concept of the "bounce back tax" — the invisible toll your body and brain pay after high-energy days — and offers practical strategies to manage it without guilt or burnout. Main Topics Covered:...

Understanding and Navigating Mental Health Relapses with Vanessa Gorelkin. In this episode, your host, Vanessa Gorelkin, a licensed occupational therapist with 30 years of experience, discusses the often misunderstood nature of mental health relapses. She shares her personal journey with depression, explains why relapse is a common part of recovery, and provides practical strategies to cope and pr...

Struggling with household tasks due to overwhelm or ADHD? Vanessa Gorelkin shares a compassionate, step-by-step body doubling approach to help you initiate and complete chores with less stress. This episode offers practical exercises to tackle cleaning, laundry, and dishes in manageable blocks, emphasizing progress over perfection. Key Topics: The concept of body doubling and its benefits for neur...

Embracing Visibility: Overcoming Fear of Being Perceived What is the fear of being perceived? Discover practical ways to navigate the universal fear of being perceived in a world obsessed with visibility.  Vanessa Gorelkin explores this fear and why it intensifies, especially in the digital age and post-pandemic, and offers actionable strategies to build confidence and authenticity. Main Topics: T...

In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin dives into the science behind the second wind phenomenon and how understanding your circadian rhythms can help you harness your natural energy peaks. Learn practical strategies to create earlier moments of safety and unclench your nervous system for increased daytime productivity. The biological basis of the second wind and circadian rhythms How and why your brain...

In this episode, host Vanessa Gorelkin describes how doubt can be harnessed to create a powerful path towards reaching our most important goals. As a follow up to the Motivation episode: learn about a technique that is used to help people with addiction, weight management, exercise goals and much more, called Motivational Interviewing. This episode provides some starting instruction in this powerf...

Title: Unpacking Internal Family Systems: Benefits, Critiques, and Practical Insights In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the therapeutic model of Internal Family Systems (IFS), sharing her personal experiences, scientific findings, common critiques, anda practical exercise. Whether you're a practitioner, client, or simply curious about this approach, you'll find valuable insights...

How to Truly Handle a Panic Attack-- Practical Neuroscience-Based Strategies In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin debunks common misconceptions about panic attacks and anxiety, sharing evidence-based techniques rooted in neuroscience. If you've struggled with ineffective calming methods online, this guide provides clear, practical advice for interrupting and managing panic in the real world. Key...

The Tiny Moments That Make a Big Difference: The Chihuahua Effect In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin explores how simple acts of kindness and moments of silliness can create ripple effects of joy and connection. She shares personal stories, emphasizes the importance of small gestures, and offers practical ways to spread positivity daily. It's a reminder that sometimes, the tiniest actions have...

Embracing Good Enough: Redefining Self-Worth and Self-Compassion In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the pervasive pressure to be perfect and the transformative power of embracing "good enough." She shares insights from scientific research, stories of iconic figures like Whitney Houston, and practical strategies to cultivate self-compassion and resilience. Key Topics: The cultural...

Rethinking Motivation: How to Make Change Without Waiting for Feelings to Align In this episode of Real Over Ideal , Vanessa Garelkin challenges the myth that motivation is the secret to lasting change. Instead, she provides practical strategies rooted in behavioral science for acting without feeling motivated, emphasizing that structure, habits, and environment are the real drivers of progress. M...

Click here to get in touch Thanks for listening! Please share the show with anyone who may enjoy it. We'd love it if you'd leave us a 5 star review wherever you're listening- it helps listeners find the show and we read every review. If you'd like to submit an "Untangle This" question, a comment, or an episode idea-- Email us: realoveridealpod@gmail.com Vanessa is ava...

The Power of Reaching Out: Why Support in Moments of Need Matters In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the importance of reaching out for support between therapy sessions, debunking common fears and highlighting research-backed benefits. Whether you’re hesitant to bother your therapist or unsure when to seek help, this episode offers reassurance and practical insights to normalize support-se...

Exploring the Night Watchman Hypothesis and Human Sleep Patterns In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa delves into the intriguing science behind why some people naturally wake at night and how this ancient survival strategy shapes our sleep today.  Discover how understanding the Night Watchman Hypothesis  (also known as the Sentinel Hypothesis) can help you embrace your sleep style and foste...

Content warning: Discussions of weight loss, disordered eating, obesity (medical term vs. medical slur) and body image, body positivity narratives. The word ‘fat’ -is used as a neutral descriptor when it appears in this conversation. Navigating Body Positivity, Weight Loss, and Societal Narratives with Pam Moore This is the 1st in a 2 part series responding to the NY Times Editorial featuring form...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, host Vanessa Gorelkin delves into the lasting impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic as we mark its six-year anniversary. Through a blend of personal anecdotes and expert insights, Vanessa examines the emotional and systemic challenges faced by individuals and communities worldwide. She offers a compassionate guide to understanding the profound changes in our personal...

Have you ever felt the sting of a disappointment? Welcome to being a human being. In this episode of Real Over Ideal- Vanessa Gorelkin talks about the brain science of disappointment and how to manage it in your own life. She addresses a listener’s very real question and encourages listeners in their own reframe of past experiences that didn’t go as planned. Disappointment is a neurological event...

Exploring Severance and Beyond: A Deep Dive with Allen Stare In this episode, Vanessa Gorelkin and Allen Stare, creator of the acclaimed Severed: The Ultimate Severance Podcast and host of the brand new (as of February 2026) Hello Carol: The Ultimate Plur1bus Podcast spend time exploring themes of work-life balance and corporate satire. Vanessa and Allen do some behind-the-scenes storytelling abou...

Summary In this episode of Real Over Ideal, Vanessa Gorelkin explores the Default Mode Network (DMN) of the brain, its role in neurodivergence, and how it influences rumination and creativity. She discusses the importance of understanding the DMN as a feature rather than a flaw, especially in the context of ADHD and other neurodivergent conditions. Vanessa offers practical strategies for managing...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal , Vanessa Gorelkin explores the subtle ways perfectionism sabotages our efforts and shares practical strategies to shift from perfection-driven habits to more flexible, compassionate approaches. Learn how to recognize these patterns and build sustainable progress without the trap of perfection. Key Topics The difference between adaptive and maladaptive perfection...

Vanessa and Diana share a frank discussion of pet grief, with a few laughs because life allows us a range of emotions.  Diana and Vanessa delve into the complex emotions surrounding pet grief and the broader topic of loss. They discuss the unique bond between humans and their pets, the societal perceptions of pet grief, and the personal experiences that shape how individuals process loss. The conv...

In this episode of Real Over Ideal, host Vanessa Gorelkin explores the concepts of yin and yang as they relate to self-care, balance, and personal growth. She discusses the importance of recognizing one's tendencies towards action (yang) or receptivity (yin) and offers practical suggestions for achieving a harmonious balance in daily life. The episode also addresses a listener's question...