Pure Desire Podcast

It's natural to want others to experience the healing and freedom Pure Desire groups have given us. But for so many of us, the notion of bringing groups to our church is daunting. This is why Pure Desire has created a roadmap for developing a purity ministry at your church. In today's episode, we want through each step of this roadmap and give encouragement on what it looks like to implement Pure...

This week, we throw it back to 2021 and the Pure Desire Summit! Robert Vander Meer taught a breakout session at the Summit titled,  Emotions Below The Surface . As we are now only 10 days away from the 2022 Summit, we thought we'd give you a taste of what's in store. Spoiler alert: Robert is one of the plenary speakers at this year's Summit! Explore with us the emotions that live below the surface...

The theme of the 2022 Pure Desire Summit (Sept. 16-17, 2022) is “ALL IN.” But what does that mean? What does it look like to go “ALL IN” for our recovery and healing? On today’s episode, we talk through what an “ALL IN” approach to our healing journey looks like, how to identify our next steps in recovery, and the benefits of seeing recovery as a lifelong endeavor. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (Yo...

One of the most needed guardrails in recovery revolves around technology. We consider how to use our computers or devices. One question many ask is, "What about my smartphone?" On today's episode, we talk to Chris Kaspar, CEO of Techless —a company offering a phone designed to cut out unnecessary distractions like social media, addictions, and advertisements. We talk to Chris about technology's im...

Part of the recovery journey is giving back. Sharing our story, leading Pure Desire groups, and even giving back financially. Today, we’re joined by two members of our advancement team, John Begeman and Rodney Wright. John and Rodney talk about the role generosity plays in the recovery process, how God is using donations to expand sexual health, and what major projects Pure Desire is working on. R...

A common aspect of the full disclosure process is a polygraph. Polygraphs can carry a certain stigma with them. But what is a polygraph and what benefit does it offer a couple going through recovery and healing? Today, we’re joined by our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen. Tyler gives us an inside look at what a polygraph is, how it fits into the full disclosure process, and how it helps rebuild t...

Each of us carries two types of “self.” Our authentic self—who God has made us to be. And our adapted self—the facade we’ve created to protect ourselves from pain and difficulty. On today’s episode, we talk to Marilyn Vancil, a spiritual director, coach, and author of Self To Lose, Self To Find . Marilyn talks us through how to identify which self we are living out of and what tools we can use to...

A switch gets flipped when we begin to understand why we do what we do (especially with our unwanted behaviors). This understanding isn’t gained easily, but when it is, it changes the whole game. On today’s episode, we’re joined by a friend of the show who is an author, speaker, and influencer to the next generation–Ben Bennett. Ben joins us to help us find the connection between our unmet longing...

Whether it’s been caught or taught, many of us believe self-care is selfish. We can so easily see and encourage it in others, but when it comes to our own self-care, we dismiss it as too “self-focused.”  Why do we believe this? Does this belief cause damage? How can we change this underlying belief? Today, we are joined by Traci Wright (Pure Desire Clinician and author) to explore the myth “self-c...

We all have some form of unwanted behavior in our life. Whether it's pornography, affairs, fantasy, or any other form of sexual brokenness, understanding where these behaviors come from is essential! If we want to break free from our unwanted behaviors, we must understand them. If we truly want to understand our unwanted behaviors, we must be curious. This requires honesty, courage, and hard work....

On today’s new FAQ episode, we cover a lot. This is what these episodes are for: giving answers to tough questions. Today’s topics include emotional anorexia, white-knuckling, sexual content in video games, getting triggered at the gym, same-sex attraction, and more! RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Recovery Action Plan (Struggling Spouse) Recovery Action Plan (Betrayed Spouse) One-Sided Hea...

Today, our podcast turns 5! We’re so thankful for you (the listeners/viewers) for tuning in each week and encouraging us to keep pushing the conversation forward. On today's livestream recording, we're: reading some reviews of the show, talking through why we started and will continue to do the podcast, covering some Pure Desire history and the podcast, discussing where we are headed in the next y...

We have a special invitation for you to join us live  THIS AFTERNOON to celebrate 5 years of the podcast! Join us  LIVE : CLICK HERE GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group   SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on...

When is the best time to start groups in my church? What should be my first steps? What if I don’t have buy-in from my pastor/leader? Do we need groups for men and women? These are the questions all of us ask when starting Pure Desire groups in our church. These and many other questions can leave us directionless and with little hope on starting groups. On today’s episode, we give direction on all...

Is it possible to hold a biblical sexual ethic and love those who don’t hold to it? Our guest, Dr. Preston Sprinkle, works to answer this question in his work as the president of The Center For Faith, Sexuality, & Gender. Preston is the host of the Theology In The Raw podcast and is a New York Times Best-Selling author of books like People To Be Loved , Embodied , and Living In A Gray World . Pres...

Many of us who experience betrayal trauma are thrown into it. We didn’t cause it. We didn’t choose it. But here we are: suffering. The thought of pursuing our own healing when we experience betrayal seems unfair. Ultimately, it is. But we have the choice to step into healing for ourselves—to restore what has been broken and damaged. On today’s episode, we explore 7 tips or encouragements as we ent...

The journey of recovery from unwanted sexual behavior is not an intuitive one. There are many aspects we never knew to consider when working to create sexual health in our lives. When we do enter the recovery journey, there can be many ups and downs. That's why, on today's episode, we talk through 7 tips for those on the front end of their recovery from addiction journey. These are 7 tips we wish...

Like many marriages, Brandon and Tonia Clark experienced the damage of a pornography addiction. Through Brandon's addiction, they experienced crisis in their marriage and didn't know how to address the problem. Today, Brandon and Tonia join us to tell the story of how they restored their marriage and their vows and how they're using their story to help others do the same. RESOURCES Full Episode Vi...

When entering the recovery and healing process, there can be lots of fear. Fears like "will this work?" or "can I really restore my marriage?" But one of the biggest fears couples face is the fear of re-engaging in their sexual relationship. Today, we are joined by clinicians, Robert and Rebecca Vander Meer, to talk through this fear and ways to work through it during the recovery process. RESOURC...

Men and women struggling with unwanted sexual behavior or sexual brokenness often work very hard to protect themselves. Protecting themselves from the pain in life  and  protecting themselves from the consequences of their behavior. This often takes the form of gaslighting, manipulating, and lying. On today’s episode, we’re joined by one of our clinicians, Eileen Fagan, to talk through why those s...

It seems like every few months there is another report of a Christian leader caught in sexual misconduct. This is extremely sad. It shouldn't be this way. But why does this keep happening? Can we do anything about it? How do we change this trend with our leaders and in our churches? Today we tackle all of these questions. There is a better way and we need to take steps to create it in our churches...

Sheila Wray Gregoire is back on the podcast today and she is joined by her husband, Dr. Keith. They’ve been busy updating and writing their books, The Good Girls Guide To Great Sex and The Good Guys Guide To Great Sex ! Today, we talk to Sheila and Dr. Keith about their books, interesting findings from their research of over 25,000 Christian women, a new approach to sexual intimacy in marriage, ho...

When entering our sexual history or the history of our group members, it’s likely we’ll encounter topics considered “taboo.” Topics like fetishes, fantasies, same-sex attraction, or others. We all have potentially taboo aspects to our sexual history. On today’s episode, we are joined by Rich Moore (Associate Director of Men’s Groups) to talk about these topics, how to respond to these topics when...

Pure Desire groups for women are essential to an effective recovery ministry. Whether it’s groups for women who’ve experienced betrayal or women struggling with unwanted sexual behavior, these groups are needed! If we want to create cultures in our church where “it’s okay to not be okay,” we need a group structure and women willing to lead. On today’s episode, Ashley Jameson joins us to talk about...

Whether we've played sports, performed in theater, or participated in other performance-oriented activities, we have all experienced failure. These moments of failure impact us at a deep level. On today's episode, we talked with Stephen Thomas, a marriage and recovery consultant, about how these performance failures wound us, how they contribute to our recovery and healing journeys, and how to hea...