Pure Desire Podcast

A common assumption in the church is, " soul good, body bad ." But on today's episode, our guest, Professor Nancy Pearcey, flips this idea on its head. Nancy shares perspectives from her book, Love Thy Body , where she addresses beliefs we commonly adopt in the church and identifies how damaging they can be—specifically, beliefs about our bodies and our sexuality. Nancy helps us understand how a h...

Counseling is incredibly beneficial, especially when it comes to the recovery and healing journey in marriage. On today's episode, we talk to Bill & Eileen Fagan (two Pure Desire Clinicians) about how counseling helps marriages. We discuss why counseling can be so beneficial, the benefits of couples being counseled together, and how counseling has and continues to save marriages. RESOURCES Full Ep...

On today's Frequently Asked Questions episode, we're tackling questions about marriage. We talk about reintegrating sex after disclosure, how to talk about and potentially change boundaries, attraction and loss of it, the 5-year relapse, helping our spouse through a trigger, and much more. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) The Great Sex Rescue (Sheila Wray Gregoire's book) Good Sex, Good Marr...

None of us sets out to have an unhealthy marriage. We will never arrive at a healthy marriage, but we can be constantly headed in the direction of health. So, what can we do to ensure our relationship moving closer to health? On today's Valentine's Day episode, we share five habits for healthy marriages. We identify how scheduling time together, sharing our emotions, planning our week, pursuing in...

Whether it's through our upbringing, social media, or our culture, there is a belief that sexual health in a marriage means LOTS of sex. On today's episode, we identify this belief as a myth. We discuss why we believe this myth and how damaging it is to marriages. We also discuss how a comparison mindset impacts our relationships, how couples can find a healthy frequency of sexual intimacy, and th...

Isolation is a common byproduct of unwanted sexual behavior or pornography addiction. As we continue acting out, shame builds and leads us deeper into isolation. On today's episode, we talk to Chandler Rogers, the Co-Founder and CEO of Relay (an app designed to help people break out of isolation). We discuss with Chandler why we isolate, why isolation is so damaging in recovery, what signs indicat...

Pure Desire’s understanding of healing and freedom is built on a family systems model . Without this model, making sense of our story and our healing journey is impossible. This is the fourth and final foundation of Pure Desire’s approach to healing and freedom. In this final Foundations episode, we explain why a family systems model is so effective in helping people take back their lives from unw...

Pure Desire groups are at the center of our to approach to healing and freedom. Groups are the primary place of recovery and healing. This is the third of four foundational aspects of our ministry. Everything we do as a ministry funnels into groups for men and women taking back their lives from unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. In week 3 of our 4-week Foundations series, we discuss our...

Pure Desire's approach to healing and freedom is  clinically informed . This is the second of four foundational aspects to our ministry. In all of our materials and offerings, we use brain science and therapeutic tools to help men and women take back their lives from unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. In week 2 of our 4-week Foundations series, we unpack what being clinically informed  ...

Pure Desire is built on four foundational beliefs. The first (and most important) is Pure Desire is biblically based in all we do. Our entire approach to healing and freedom from unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma is rooted in Scripture. In week 1 of our 4-week Foundations series, we explore what it means that Pure Desire is biblically based. We address the common pushback we get of not...

Without fail, during the week between Christmas and New Year’s, resolutions for change are made. But statistically, these New Year’s resolutions often fail by the time we get one month in. Why is this? In the fourth and final week of our Health For The Holidays series, we talk about making realistic resolutions . We discuss why we make these resolutions to change each year, why they can be so diff...

For those of us in the recovery or healing journey, the term “coping skills” carries a negative connotation. It’s negative coping skills that put us on this journey in the first place. But what if we need coping skills in order to stay healthy during the holiday season? In week three of our Health For The Holidays series, we decipher between healthy and unhealthy coping skills, how to know we’re c...

Each year, around mid-November, we start hearing Christmas music. One sentiment we hear over and over is how the holidays are the “most wonderful time of the year.” However many of us experience the “most emotional time of the year.” Why is the most wonderful time of the year happen to be the most emotional ? In week two of our Health For The Holidays series, we talk through why this season is so...

Staying healthy during the holidays can be challenging. Especially when it comes to navigating family. Being around our family of origin, slipping back into old roles, and working to meet expectations—all difficulties during the holiday season. In week one of our Health For The Holidays series, we talk through why being around family is so challenging during the holidays, why boundaries are import...

If we ever want to live in sexual health, we must know our patterns. This isn't just our patterns of fantasy or sexually acting out. This extends to understanding our digital patterns—how we use technology in unhealthy ways. Today, we are joined by Jason Mathew, founder of LeadMeNot , a digital wellness company. Jason shares his story of sexual brokenness and how recognizing and changing his digit...

When addressing unwanted sexual behavior or any level of sexual brokenness, the language of "addiction" is difficult to accept. What is it that makes something an addiction? What makes it a sexual addiction? To help us understand sexual addiction and its impact,  we talk to Dr. Adrian Hickmon, a therapist and the founder of Capstone Treatment Center. We discuss the criteria of an "addiction," why...

Life becomes difficult when you lose your job, ministry, community, and home. This is the story of Nate and Maggie Blaylock. Because of Nate’s unwanted sexual behavior and addiction, not only did they have to leave the community they were a part of, they had to completely start over in another city. But that’s not where their story ended. Through their own healing and recovery, God equipped them t...

Effectively supporting our church’s Pure Desire groups is multi-faceted. The words we use from the stage during a weekend service, the oversight offered to group leaders, and the frequency of announcing groups—these all impact recovery and healing groups in our church. On today’s episode, we’re joined by one of our newest team members, Immanuel Garraway, our Church Relations Specialist. We talk th...

Sexual love is God’s beautiful creation. But for so many of us, our brokenness negatively impacts it. This past September at the Pure Desire Summit , Dr. Juli Slattery spoke on the four pillars of sexual love and what makes it such a beautiful gift from God. On today’s episode, we feature her Summit breakout session. Dr. Slattery covers how the importance of faithfulness, intimate knowing, sacrifi...

Recovery and healing as a single or unmarried person can often seem confusing. Is there something wrong or lesser about me because I'm not married?  What does sexual health look like as a single or unmarried person? On today's frequently asked questions episode, we cover many different aspects of being single or unmarried in recovery and healing. We talk about sexual health and its expression as a...

Healing from sexual betrayal is an incredibly important journey. In order to best help partners heal from the trauma experienced through sexual betrayal, we must understand what the partner needs. On today’s episode, we interview the founding president of The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) , Dr. Barbara Steffens. Dr. Steffens helps us understand what a partner-s...

Women who experience sexual betrayal need healing just as much as their addicted spouses. The damage that betrayal trauma creates is massive. Women need a place to heal and process their experiences. This is what Betrayal & Beyond was created for—a group context and healing resource that facilitates the healing God provides those who’ve experienced sexual betrayal. We are in week 4 of our Running...

Women who struggle with unwanted sexual behavior feel double shame. First off, they feel shame because of their struggle. Secondly, they feel shame because they struggle with an area often addressed as a “man’s issue.” Sexual brokenness is not a respecter of gender. Men and women both struggle with unwanted sexual behaviors. We are now in week 3 of our Running Effective Groups series. Today, we ta...

Today is week 2 of our 4-week Running Effective Pure Desire Groups series. This week we look at our recovery groups for men: Seven Pillars Of Freedom . We spend time unpacking how to best run these 8-week Sexual Integrity 101 groups. We talk through who these groups are for, what is covered in the 8 weeks, and how this course is a catalyst for launching Pure Desire recovery and support groups. RES...

Today begins a 4-part series on running effective Pure Desire groups. Week 1 is focused on our introductory video course: Sexual Integrity 101 . We spend time unpacking how to best run these 8-week Sexual Integrity 101 groups. We talk through who these groups are for, what is covered in the 8 weeks, and how this course is a catalyst for launching Pure Desire recovery and support groups. RESOURCES...