Pure Desire Podcast

In this episode, Dr. Sean McDowell unpacks why so many Christians feel stuck in compulsive sexual behaviors and how cultural messages often shape our understanding of sexuality more than Scripture. He explores common deceptions believers adopt about their bodies, identity, and desire, and why sexuality is often disconnected from faith. Together, we discuss how to reintegrate sexuality into a holis...

In today’s episode, we welcome Alan Hlavka for his first appearance and invite him to share a bit of his story and heart for recovery. Together, we explore how spiritual disciplines can serve as a powerful safeguard against pornography use and compulsive sexual behaviors—and why they’re about far more than willpower or religious routine. Alan shares real-life examples of transformation rooted in s...

In today’s episode, we explore how our sexual behaviors are shaped long before any crisis moment—and why engaging our personal story of sexual formation is essential for lasting freedom. Our guest, Sam Jolman, challenges the belief that desire is dangerous, revealing how shame, purity culture, and distorted messages about the body often fuel the very behaviors we’re trying to escape. We unpack the...

In this episode, we dive into the connection between faith, identity, and sexuality, exploring why separating sex from our life in Christ can lead to confusion, brokenness, and misplaced identity. With guest, Joshua Broome, we discuss how today’s western culture often defines worth through sexual appeal, activity, and acceptance, while God offers a radically different vision rooted in dignity, cov...

In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, we dive into the essential topic of emotional stability and its role in recovery, relationships, and personal growth. We explore how to assess whether we are managing our emotions or being managed by them, and why there are no inherently “good” or “bad” emotions.  Emotions are powerful indicators of deeper realities and can reveal patterns that lead to r...

In today’s episode, we explore what it truly means to pursue a “porn-proof life” from a Christian perspective—beyond willpower, rules, or fear-based accountability. We discuss why many Christians turn to pornography or other compulsive behaviors in moments of pain, stress, or loneliness, and how these coping mechanisms distort God’s design for comfort, connection, and desire. Our guests, Matthew a...

In today’s episode, we dive into one of the most tender and complex challenges couples face after betrayal: rebuilding trust that lasts. Even when sobriety is sustained and growth is evident, many spouses still feel the hidden fear that the “other shoe” will eventually drop. Our guests, Tyler and Shari Chinchen, help us unpack why trust can remain fragile, what behaviors—often unintentional—can qu...

On today’s episode, Nate and Maggie Blaylock share their expertise in helping couples navigate recovery, with a special focus on rebuilding physical intimacy after betrayal. They discuss common mistakes couples make in this area and provide examples of what can go wrong, as well as the traits of couples who successfully restore trust and connection in their sexual relationship.  The conversation e...

Register For The 2026 Summit Now! Carol Jurgensen Sheets joins us again to explore the vital role of empathy in healing relationships affected by addiction or compulsive sexual behavior. She begins by defining empathy and explaining why it’s essential for rebuilding trust and connection after discovery. Carol also discusses why many addicts struggle with empathy, often due to past modeling or copi...

Dr. Janice Caudill joins us for her first podcast conversation to explore one of the most challenging aspects of recovery: disclosure. She begins by sharing her own background and approach, then walks listeners through what an ideal disclosure process looks like in healthy recovery.  Recognizing that most couples face partial, staggered, or even forced disclosures, Dr. Janice offers guidance for n...

In today’s episode, Jason and Shelley Martinkus join us for their first podcast conversation to share their insights on navigating the ongoing challenges of healing in relationships impacted by addiction. They discuss how betrayed spouses can communicate triggers effectively, and how recovering addicts can receive this feedback without defensiveness. The conversation addresses common frustrations,...

In this powerful episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, Linda MacDonald joins us to explore the unique trauma of post-affair divorce—what she describes as a “spiritual car crash.” We discuss why the grief of being betrayed and then left carries a distinct and devastating complexity, including the deep shame, self-blame, and identity loss many survivors experience. Linda offers insight for betrayed sp...

Dr. Gary Chapman joins us for a rich conversation about loving well through The 5 Love Languages®. We begin with a helpful refresher on the five languages and explore how personality shapes the way we give and receive love. Chapman also explains the idea of the “love tank”—what fills it, what drains it, and how couples can keep it healthy through consistency, practice, and intentional effort rathe...

In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, Dr. Andrew Bauman joins us to discuss why the church so often becomes an unsafe place for survivors of sexual betrayal. Drawing from his work as a licensed mental health counselor and his research with more than 2,800 women, Dr. Bauman shares what led him—from pastoral ministry into clinical practice—to expose the systemic sexism and abuse he documents i...

In today’s episode, we explore the heart behind the book, When Hurting People Come to Church, and the growing mental health crisis impacting families, churches, and communities—including those navigating sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Our guests, Shaunti Feldhahn and Dr. James Sells, explain why so many people struggle to find timely help and how the Church is uniquely positioned to respond...

In this episode of the Pure Desire Podcast, we explore a radically different way of understanding desire in recovery, betrayal, and marriage. Rather than treating desire as the enemy, our guest, Jay Stringer, invites us to see unwanted behaviors as signposts pointing to deeper wounds and unmet longings.  Drawing from Jay’s research with over 4,000 people, we discuss how fear-based restriction, sha...

In today’s episode, we’re joined by Dr. Jake Porter to explore the pervasive and often misunderstood role of shame in recovery. We begin by defining shame and examining why understanding its messages is crucial for lasting growth.  Even after significant recovery, shame can persist—like background noise—resurfacing when we least expect it, especially when confronting the pain we’ve caused others....

In this episode, Debby Flanagan dives into a common but often overlooked challenge in recovery: trying to control life by controlling other people. We explore how this pattern can undermine relationships, fuel relapse, and distract from personal growth.  Debby outlines telltale signs that someone may be exerting control and offers strategies for self-reflection to recognize if we are doing the sam...

In this episode, we explore what it truly means to take full responsibility for the damage caused by addiction—and why minimizing, deflecting, or excusing that harm often keeps relapse close at hand.  Joined by Eileen Fagan, we identify subtle signs of incomplete ownership, from defensiveness and justification to shifting focus onto the wounded spouse’s reactions. We also discuss why acknowledging...

In today’s episode, we confront one of the most deceptive assumptions in the recovery world: the belief that sexual addiction is “just about sex.” With guest Robert Vander Meer, we unpack how this false narrative minimizes the emotional, relational, and neurological drivers beneath the behavior, making relapse far more likely because the real wounds go unaddressed. We identify common signs of this...

In this episode, Harry Flanagan joins us to unpack a subtle but critical danger in the recovery process: pursuing healing with less passion than we once pursued addiction. He explains how this mindset can quietly fuel relapse patterns, create emotional complacency, and leave individuals feeling stuck even while “doing the right things.” Harry also addresses why some people struggle to engage fully...

In today’s episode, Laurie Krieg shares her expertise on guiding children through some of today’s toughest conversations around sexuality, gender, and God’s design for relationships. From knowing the right time to talk to kids about sex, singleness, and marriage, to navigating confusing cultural messages—including rainbow flags, gender transitions in family, and the realities of pornography and tr...

In this episode, Rodney and Traci Wright dive into the delicate and vital topic of parenting while walking a recovery journey. Drawing from their book How to Talk with Your Kids About Sex, they explore why honesty, timing, and boundaries are essential when navigating recovery with children at home. From common mistakes parents make to practical guidance on age-appropriate disclosure, they provide...

In this episode, John Fort returns to share insights from his book Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationships, a practical guide designed to help dads engage openly and confidently with their sons about sex, boundaries, and character. He explains why these conversations are often difficult for Christian parents, the common hesitations dads face, and the positive transformations he’...

In this episode, we’re joined by Ashley Jameson, the author of a powerful new book designed to help moms and daughters navigate one of the most important—and often most uncomfortable—topics: sex and healthy conversations about it. She shares what inspired her to write Girl Talk , how the book is structured, and what moms and daughters can expect as they walk through it together.  We’ll explore pra...