Pure Desire Podcast

When is the best time to start groups in my church? What should be my first steps? What if I don’t have buy-in from my pastor/leader? Do we need groups for men and women? These are the questions all of us ask when starting Pure Desire groups in our church. These and many other questions can leave us directionless and with little hope on starting groups. On today’s episode, we give direction on all...

Is it possible to hold a biblical sexual ethic and love those who don’t hold to it? Our guest, Dr. Preston Sprinkle, works to answer this question in his work as the president of The Center For Faith, Sexuality, & Gender. Preston is the host of the Theology In The Raw podcast and is a New York Times Best-Selling author of books like People To Be Loved , Embodied , and Living In A Gray World . Pres...

Many of us who experience betrayal trauma are thrown into it. We didn’t cause it. We didn’t choose it. But here we are: suffering. The thought of pursuing our own healing when we experience betrayal seems unfair. Ultimately, it is. But we have the choice to step into healing for ourselves—to restore what has been broken and damaged. On today’s episode, we explore 7 tips or encouragements as we ent...

The journey of recovery from unwanted sexual behavior is not an intuitive one. There are many aspects we never knew to consider when working to create sexual health in our lives. When we do enter the recovery journey, there can be many ups and downs. That's why, on today's episode, we talk through 7 tips for those on the front end of their recovery from addiction journey. These are 7 tips we wish...

Like many marriages, Brandon and Tonia Clark experienced the damage of a pornography addiction. Through Brandon's addiction, they experienced crisis in their marriage and didn't know how to address the problem. Today, Brandon and Tonia join us to tell the story of how they restored their marriage and their vows and how they're using their story to help others do the same. RESOURCES Full Episode Vi...

When entering the recovery and healing process, there can be lots of fear. Fears like "will this work?" or "can I really restore my marriage?" But one of the biggest fears couples face is the fear of re-engaging in their sexual relationship. Today, we are joined by clinicians, Robert and Rebecca Vander Meer, to talk through this fear and ways to work through it during the recovery process. RESOURC...

Men and women struggling with unwanted sexual behavior or sexual brokenness often work very hard to protect themselves. Protecting themselves from the pain in life  and  protecting themselves from the consequences of their behavior. This often takes the form of gaslighting, manipulating, and lying. On today’s episode, we’re joined by one of our clinicians, Eileen Fagan, to talk through why those s...

It seems like every few months there is another report of a Christian leader caught in sexual misconduct. This is extremely sad. It shouldn't be this way. But why does this keep happening? Can we do anything about it? How do we change this trend with our leaders and in our churches? Today we tackle all of these questions. There is a better way and we need to take steps to create it in our churches...

Sheila Wray Gregoire is back on the podcast today and she is joined by her husband, Dr. Keith. They’ve been busy updating and writing their books, The Good Girls Guide To Great Sex and The Good Guys Guide To Great Sex ! Today, we talk to Sheila and Dr. Keith about their books, interesting findings from their research of over 25,000 Christian women, a new approach to sexual intimacy in marriage, ho...

When entering our sexual history or the history of our group members, it’s likely we’ll encounter topics considered “taboo.” Topics like fetishes, fantasies, same-sex attraction, or others. We all have potentially taboo aspects to our sexual history. On today’s episode, we are joined by Rich Moore (Associate Director of Men’s Groups) to talk about these topics, how to respond to these topics when...

Pure Desire groups for women are essential to an effective recovery ministry. Whether it’s groups for women who’ve experienced betrayal or women struggling with unwanted sexual behavior, these groups are needed! If we want to create cultures in our church where “it’s okay to not be okay,” we need a group structure and women willing to lead. On today’s episode, Ashley Jameson joins us to talk about...

Whether we've played sports, performed in theater, or participated in other performance-oriented activities, we have all experienced failure. These moments of failure impact us at a deep level. On today's episode, we talked with Stephen Thomas, a marriage and recovery consultant, about how these performance failures wound us, how they contribute to our recovery and healing journeys, and how to hea...

Becoming a porn-free person is not an easy journey but is so worth the effort! Matt Dobschuetz knows this first hand. Matt, the host of the Porn Free Radio Podcast and author of the new book  Porn Free , joins us for a crossover episode of the podcast. On today’s episode, we talk to Matt about his new book and the insights he shares about the recovery journey. Matt even asks us a few questions dur...

It’s not enough to just stop our unwanted sexual behaviors. In order to truly break free and heal from the effects of unwanted sexual behaviors, we must find replacement behaviors. Like learning to ride a bike, our mind holds on to repeated behaviors and never lets them go. If we want to stop these automatic behaviors, our brain requires we replace them with new ones. On today’s episode, we discus...

It's the consequences of unwanted sexual behavior that often motivate us most in starting the recovery or healing journey. Whether we’re the struggling spouse or the one betrayed, the crisis and damage of sexual brokenness make the recovery and healing process very necessary. But once we enter this journey, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. As we grow and develop health, we begin setting b...

Sexual betrayal is one of the most devastating things a person can experience. Though struggling spouses are not primarily out to hurt their husband/wife, sexual brokenness brings immense amounts of pain and trauma into a marriage. As an addict or struggler, is it possible to help our spouse heal from the pain we’ve caused? Is there anything we can do to help in the healing process? On today’s epi...

As followers of Jesus, knowing what is true and biblical is important. But when it comes to battling the effects of unwanted sexual behavior or betrayal trauma we can very easily use spiritual truths to minimize the reality of our situation or struggle. This is referred to as "spiritual bypass." On today's episode, Dr. Craig Cashwell talks to us about spiritual bypass and why it can be so damaging...

Sexual brokenness shatters the lives of so many men and women. We’ve heard this story many times: a man struggles with unwanted sexual behaviors and, because of this, his wife experiences betrayal trauma.  But what happens when the roles are reversed? When a woman struggles and betrays her husband? On today’s episode, Cyndie and Dusty tell us their story of healing. They share how sexual brokennes...

When discovery or disclosure happens, it impacts the mind, body, and soul of a betrayed partner. Our mind becomes stuck on rewind; processing every word of every day, wondering how we missed it. We can’t eat. We can’t sleep. We no longer feel safe. Is there any hope? On today’s episode, we sit down with Jennifer Howie and talk through several aspects of betrayal trauma that will empower a betrayed...

Historically, in many faith communities, there seemed to be a great divide: psychology on one side of the canyon and spirituality on the other side. But now, this gap is closing. On today’s episode, we are privileged to have Dr. Craig Cashwell as our guest. We first met Dr. Cashwell during Module 2 of the  PSAP  training and used this opportunity to dig deeper into what we learned. As a Mental Hea...

When we experience betrayal, it seems as though our world has been turned upside down. This type of trauma can leave us feeling paralyzed and alone, unsure of what’s happening to us and if healing is even possible. On today’s episode, we are honored to have Dr. Barbara Steffens as our guest. She is the author of Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal and the founding Preside...

Creating emotional and sexual intimacy in marriage can be challenging. This is especially true when sexual brokenness is present in a marriage. Today, Dr. Juli Slattery joins us to talk through barriers couples face when creating sexual intimacy and how we can overcome them. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) AUTHENTIC INTIMACY WEBSITE FIND THE HERO IN YOUR HUSBAND: REVISITED (JULI’S BOOK) JAV...

As the COVID spike has caused issues with our regularly scheduled podcasts, we thought we would re-release an oldie but goodie episode. Back in December of 2017, we did an interview with Rodney Wright about the hurdles many churches face when it comes to addressing the effects of sexual brokenness. Even though we’re now 4 years later, this episode still rings so true. As the church, we need to con...

This week's episode is unique. Like so many, COVID has finally visited Nick and Trevor's family. As a pivot, we decided to feature a really powerful message from the 2021 Pure Desire Summit from Rodney Wright. Rodney's message is titled Bold Intimacy. RESOURCES 2022 PURE DESIRE SUMMIT (REGISTER) 2021 PURE DESIRE SUMMIT (PURCHASE LIFETIME ACCESS) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7...

The journey of recovery is a difficult one. While in the recovery journey, it's easy to get discouraged by the process and how long it takes. On today's episode, we identify the five stages of recovery, how long they take, and how these stages help us see the true goal of recovery. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) SEVEN PILLARS OF FREEDOM (RECOVERY RESOURCE FOR MEN) BETRAYAL & BEYOND (BETRAY...