Pure Desire Podcast

Pornography and sexual brokenness are destroying marriages. But what if the messages we are taught about sex are just as damaging? Messages like "all men struggle with porn" or "women shouldn't deprive their husbands of sex" can be detrimental to our marriages. Today, we talk with the author of The Great Sex Rescue , Sheila Wray Gregoire, about how to rescue our marriages from porn and the negativ...

Harry Flanagan, AKA "Father Flanagan," was a pastor, leader, and influential member of his community. But due to his sexual addiction, all of that was lost. Family, ministry, and sense of purpose. But then Harry was introduced to Dr. Ted Roberts and Pure Desire Ministries. Now, Harry is a clinician and author with Pure Desire. Today, he shares his story of healing. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YO...

There are two different kinds of group members: introverts and extroverts. Both need group. This week, we talk through what being an extrovert in group looks like (how to encourage them in listening and limiting their sharing), how to lead extroverts in group (if they take over a group meeting or advice-give), and how extroverts can best heal in a Pure Desire group setting. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE...

There are two different kinds of group members: introverts and extroverts. Both need group. This week, we talk through what being an introvert in group looks like (how to engage and feel confident sharing your story), how to lead introverts in group (drawing their sharing out of them without badgering), and how introverts can best heal in a Pure Desire group setting. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (...

In anticipation of this week's Pure Desire Summit, we wanted to explore the reality of healing happening below the surface. Finding freedom from sexual brokenness or healing from betrayal trauma doesn't happen with behavior modification. It's a deeper healing of our thoughts, feelings, and core beliefs about ourselves, God, and others. Today we explore below the surface healing. RESOURCES FULL EPI...

Betrayal trauma causes inner chaos. Parts of us want to run away and find safety. Other parts of us want to stay and fix or save. These "parts" of us can wage war, making us feel burnt out and hopeless. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapy model that identifies these "parts" in us and how they wage war with each other. So much is at stake when choosing to address our trauma, so we must learn...

Anyone struggling with addictions knows the feeling of internal warfare. Parts of us hate the addiction while other parts of us keep pursuing it. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapy model that identifies these "parts" in us and how they wage war with each other. As these parts fight it out, our unwanted behavior rages and wreaks havoc in our lives. Today, we're joined by IFS practitioner an...

Ever battled anxiety, doubt, or shame? These often stem from unresolved emotional scars that leave us with unfulfilled longings. We try to fulfill these longings through unhealthy behaviors and relationships that end up hurting instead of helping. This is why Ben Bennett (and Josh McDowell) wrote the book, Free To Thrive!  We talk to Ben about his new book and what thriving really looks like as a...

Men and women in the church hear the message "men need sex every 72 hours." Though a regular sex life is good for a marriage, this message can cause damaging effects. Today, we explore this message and identify why it's a myth, discuss the negative impact it has, and what healthy sex looks like in marriage. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) BETHESDA WORKSHOPS (TODAY'S SPONSOR) GET STARTED Sum...

Apologist and author, Josh McDowell has spent the past few years focusing on the area of sexual brokenness, specifically pornography. Today, we talk to Josh about what he's learned from years of research on the effects of pornography. We talk about trends we're seeing and what we can do to change the tide of sexual brokenness in our world. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) CARE FOR PASTORS (W...

Betrayal trauma is a real thing. When sexual brokenness and addiction enter a marriage or relationship, betrayal trauma enters with it. But what is betrayal trauma? How does it show itself in a marriage? Today, we talk about 7 keys to understanding what betrayal trauma is and how to heal from it. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) 7 KEYS TO UNDERSTANDING BETRAYAL TRAUMA (FREE EBOOK) RECOVERY A...

When Evelyn found out about her husband's addiction on their honeymoon, everything changed. You'd think it was addressed right then...well, it wasn't. Years later, when Evelyn finally drew her line in the sand, her husband joined a group and started his healing journey. From there, Evelyn experienced her own healing. And now? Well, she’s leading other women through their betrayal trauma and helpin...

Though it may not happen as often, men do experience betrayal trauma. Whether it’s their wife’s sexual addiction, affair, or unwanted sexual behavior, men experience betrayal. Is it different for men than it is for women? What can men do if this happens? Who can they talk to? We talk with Rich Moore about his experience of betrayal trauma and talk through what hope for betrayed men looks like. RES...

There are many parallels between superhero stories and recovery. In anticipation of the newest release in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, we explore themes, storylines, and dynamics of some of our favorite MCU heroes and apply them to our journey through healing and recovery. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal T...

When sexual addiction invades a marriage, the betrayed spouse feels like their life implodes. We can’t make sense of anything and trauma takes place. All this confusion and pain can cause us to get stuck between discovery and recovery. Today, we talk to Rosie Makinney, founder of Fight For Love Ministries , about how to help betrayed women get out of the difficult in-between and into healing and r...

Sexual abuse is more prevalent than many of us realize. Statistics (even inside the church) are astronomical. So, what can we (the church) do about it? We talk to Dr. James and Laura Reeves about addressing sexual abuse in the church and their new video resource, The Fearless Series . We talk about who this series is for, how it helps, and what churches can do to help the women in our churches who...

Ben Bennett, director of Resolution Movement (a Josh McDowell Ministry), was stuck in sexual addiction, depression, and anxiety. His sexual addiction was about survival. But through his introduction to Pure Desire, Ben found freedom from addiction. And as the author of Living Free (a recovery resource for college-aged men), Ben is leading others toward thriving in the life God intended for them. T...

Are sending intimate pictures of ourselves to our spouse ok? When do we start talking with our kids about sexuality? How do we help our kids if our spouse is addicted? These questions and more on today's Frequently Asked Questions episode. Submit your questions for future FAQ episodes: Email your question to:  podcast@puredesire.org Message/DM us with your questions RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (Y...

What if intercourse isn't sex? What if sex is so much more than a sexual act between two people? Author, Sheila Wray Gregoire, joins us today to talk about her new book, The Great Sex Rescue. We talk about what sex really is and how to rescue it from how our world and culture distort it. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) TO LOVE, HONOR, AND VACUUM (SHEILA’S BLOG) BARE MARRIAGE PODCAST (SHEILA...

Are emotions bad? Point blank: No! So why do so many of us run away from them, avoid them, and disregard them? Today, we talk about the myth so many of us were taught: emotions are bad. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) FASTER SCALE (TOOL) INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS PODCAST EPISODE W/ JENNA RIEMERSMA ALTOGETHER YOU (JENNA RIEMERSMA’S BOOK) PURE DESIRE SUMMIT (EVENT) GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Reg...

Asher and Ashley Sears had a typical back and forth marriage with sexual addiction and betrayal. But they don't live that way now! Why is this? Just by chance, Ashley was introduced to a recovery resource and encouraged Asher to pursue it. Neither knew this would kickstart new levels of healing and intimacy in their marriage. Today, we hear their beautiful story of healing. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE...

For a marriage to truly heal from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, both spouses need healing. We refer to it as a “family systems issue.” But what if our struggling spouse doesn’t want to pursue healing? Should we continue on our own healing journey? Can we help them? Should we even try to? We talk about this very difficult and very common situation on today’s episode. RESOURCES FULL EPISODE...

We made it to 200 episodes! Honestly, it’s because you guys, our listeners! We would not continue recording these episodes if they weren’t helpful and encouraging on the journey to healing and freedom. To celebrate our 200th episode, we decided to mix it up. We’re looking at some of our favorites, some feedback, and what we have coming in the future. Please celebrate with us and tell us your favor...

The recovery process oftentimes includes relapse. This is part of the journey of breaking free from sexual brokenness. But what if we have a group member who continues to relapse over and over again? How do we handle this? How do we encourage them? Do we kick them out of group? We answer all of these questions and more on today's episode! RESOURCES FULL EPISODE VIDEO (YOUTUBE) CRASH SITE ANALYSIS...

Trauma and woundedness enter our lives early. The ways in which a little kid is hurt tend to show up much later in life through unwanted behaviors and emotional numbness. We often don’t view our struggles this way. But that’s why we had Drew Boa (founder of Husband Material Academy) back on the show to discuss our inner child. We talk about how to offer healing to our inner child and what the proc...